𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐁𝐎𝐘//𝐆𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘𝐗𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑

Please Daddy God please reincarnate me into a Chihuahua 🙏

"I'm going to die." My face was stained with tears and nose rubbed raw. "Fun." I breathed. For the last few hours I had been thinking about my situation.

It wasn't the death part I was scared of. I'm sure I'd be reincarnated into something fabulous, like one of those tiny chihuahuas that had boogers on their eyes and tongues sticking out. The ones that rich old ladies with lipo and plastic lips lugged around in tiny purses. At least I'd be rich. The dying part was the thing I was having a problem with. 

I'd never even seen a griever. Did they look like cute little Pomeranians? Or maybe like freaks at a circus. How would they kill me? How would I die? Getting snipped up into little pieces? Eaten? Would the Griever try to get freaky with me?!

The whole thing was entirely upsetting. The not knowing and the dying thing. After a while I just kind of accepted it. Decided I would make myself as numb as possible for the whole banishment, put on a little performance if you will. Put on a sickeningly happy, sweet facade.

But not before seeing Chuck. I was always true to Chuck. He needed a proper goodbye. I was allowed to see him before the banishment, Newt brought him in the cell, leaving us for some privacy. He looked like he was straining to keep quiet but once I had him sit down in the chair he let out a loud shuddering sob.

He grabbed me around my middle, crying violently into my shirt. Snot gunked up his face, his eyes allowed purchase for tear after tear to dribble down his cheeks. I used my shirt to clean his face up.

"It's okay." I soothed in a low voice, patting his hair. "It's okay. You can cry if you need to. It's normal." My own salty tears started to sprout from my eyes.

"I-don't-want-you-to-go!" Chuck said between gasps. I just held his head in attempt to comfort him...and myself.

"I know." My wet face let me know that the tears had succeeded my eyes. "I don't wanna go either Chuck." My voice broke as I said this last part. "But I have to." He coughed furiously trying to catch his breath. "Listen to me okay." Chuck looked up at me eyes filled with betrayal and heartbreak. "You'll get to have my things alright. You can keep my other shirt, the nail polish, jewelry, you name it and it's yours."

"I don't want any of that stupid klunk I just want you to stay!" He shouted, shocking me by how loud he'd raised his voice. I bit my lip angry at the world, angry at anyone that made him feel this way. So mad I wanted to spit. I ripped off one of the rings I had on my shaking fingers, holding it out to him.

"Take it Chuck."

"No!"

"God dammit just take it Chuck!" My words came out a little more aggressive than intended. His lip trembling he finally gave in, taking it bitterly from my hand.
"I don't want you to watch okay. I want you to stay here. You understand?" He couldn't look me in the eyes. My face tightened, my heart feeling like it was being crushed by some sort of sick sadist.
"You understand?" I whispered. He nodded, his normally springy curls laying dull and flat on his head. "Chuck?" I choked out, grabbing on to his hand. It was warm, soft, and soon it would be gone.
"You have been the best friend ever to me okay. I love you so much." I talked quickly, trying to push everything I felt out. "I love how you talk all the time, about nothing but everything all at the same time. And I love just how awesome you are. But I need you to promise me these things." Chuck waited for my requests, his face shattering even more then possible.

"I want you to stand up for yourself. If they find my body I want to be buried next to George. Y'know the guy with the glass over him?"

"Uh huh."

"Good. I want you to get out of the maze and I don't want you to forget about me. Tell the new greenies about how much of a badass I was. Don't be all sad and depressed like when people mention Nick. And always know that I loved you, you're like a little brother to me." I hugged him one last time, trying to hold onto the feeling, trying to memorize what his face looked like.

"I'm sorry I can't stay. I'm sorry." His eyes were absolutely crushed after I pulled away. "Bye for now I guess. I can't wait till I see you again. I'm sure you'll have so much to tell me." Chuck's face was wrinkled with tears and with every bit of power I had I forced myself to walk out of the slammer.

______________________________

I couldn't feel anything anymore. Almost felt like I was high or drunk off of the adrenaline pumping through my veins. It was time. A random boy placed a rough hand on my back. He attempted to guide me toward the circle of boys gathered at one of the maze's entrance.

"Don't touch me Timothy." I said with anger prominent in every syllable, shrugging him away. My vision blurred as I remembered Chuck. Physical pain struck me, almost like someone was smashing an axe through my chest. Then I was directly in front of the boys, most of them couldn't even look at me.

Paul came out from the crowd grabbing me square by the elbow. His straggly hair knocking into my face as he leaned down to my ear. His breath was rancid, not just from food. It was almost as if there was a nasty evilness growing from inside him.

"I hope you burn in hell like the dirty whore you are." His dirty fingernails clawed into my skin. This was his doing. Everything was his fault. Rage incapacitated reason. I snapped.

"Great see you there Dildo." He had been caught off guard, shooting his head back.

"What's a dildo?" He asked with genuine curiosity.

I slammed my elbow as hard as it could go sharply into his ribs. He stumbled back clutching onto his chest. When he was weak is when I cane closer. I summoned all the pain, all the hurt, and evil he had spread and simply returned it. By spitting on him. Legitimately spitting on him. People started to come toward me, someone ripped me away from Paul.

"Alright alright I'm going! Don't touch me fucking Judas's!" And then I did it. Driven by turmoil and rage I willingly sped walk into the maze with nothing but a small backpack. When I got to the other side of the opening I spun around flipping everyone off. "See you in hell Fuckers!"

They stood with their pointy sticks and gaping mouths looking pathetic, every single one of them. I don't think I was supposed to even go yet because the doors stood open awkwardly. So instead of waiting I took a snapshot of everyone's face and stormed away down one of the passages. I had enough light to explore the maze, I had to take advantage of that. Maybe there was something no one else had found in here.

Maybe not but I had to find a place to rest till I had to run. I fucking hate running. I might bust a lung but there was no way I was gonna pussy out now. If the grievers were going to kill me I wasn't going down without a fight. At least that's what I though then. Little did I know I would be pronounced dead the next morning...