𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐁𝐎𝐘//𝐆𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘𝐗𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑

🦋 Mr. Blue Sky 🦋

⚠️TW: This chapter will contain excess substance use and throwing up so read at your own accord please! Love you!⚠️

Birch tree trunk at my head I laid in fetal position. So childish...so needed. My world had spun on it's top last night but still birds had the audacity to chirp. Create jovial music. It was nauseating.

Using my spine, I rolled onto my feet. After stretching for a minute or two I decided to start the day as I normally would. As if nothing happened. Headed for the open clearing I stepped over anything that smoldered.

Nimbly, I found myself in the abandoned kitchen to search for the goods. Opening the refrigerator that somehow still ran, I dug through different containers till I found it. A jar of Gally's finest. Not caring to doctor it up, I cradled it in my arm. That was done. Time to collect the next item. To the homestead. Or to whatever was left of it.

I had to hop over the stairs banister due to the crushed in walls. Plaster littered the floor, smelling like chalk. I ran my fingertips against the now twisted hallway. Just as I did when I first went through it. Only I don't think a paint job could fix what the grievers had done. Funny. Spinning my heels, I was at the doorway of the medjack room. Perfect.

Traipsing in the emptied drab room I went to a drawer where Clint and Jeff had moved the medicine. Sliding it open I found a goldmine. The drawer was cram packed with bottles. At random I picked at a few. Treating it like a juvenile claw machine game. At the last second I decided to go with one of the surplus bottles of cough syrup.

Drugs in hand I snapped open the lock on the window, allowing me access to the roof. I stepped onto the flat surface. Taking a seat. Arranging the substances around me like guests at a tea party.

Zart was dead. Cold. I shuddered at the thought of his blank eyes staring back at me. I think they were blue. Maybe they were brown. I can't seem to remember. Is he already fading?

Whatever.

This is stupid. I can't waste forever thinking about him. How he was brutally killed. Left to die alone. On the ground. Face smudged with dirt. What if I had been there? What if I had saved him? What if I had been there just a few God damn minutes sooner?! He could've died looking up at me. Gazing at the girl he had a crush only a teenage boy could carry the burden of one last time. But I wasn't there.

He died alone.

A tear fell down my face. Then another. Rolling down my cheek. Every nerve and cell inside of me screamed. Aching with the confines of skin. I unscrewed the jar, bringing the sharp bitter liquid to my lips. The taste didn't seem to phase me anymore. Smiling as I cried, I took a swig of the cough syrup. Mmmh. Strawberry flavored. Perfect.

I could see the glade's horizon line. The sun tinged the top of the walls. Fizzling out. Like I did. I dumped the cough syrup in the alcohol. Drugging myself with strawberry. Sipping on my cocktail of grief. Topped with a few tears.

Things went in and out of focus. My muscles relaxing. It'd only take me away for a little while. Numbing me. Making the guilt declaw itself from me. I reclined on the tin roof to see the great expanse of blue across the sky. Color looked so much more vibrant. They were blue.

Zart's eyes were definitely blue.

________________________

"Woah." I said breathlessly. The first shock of euphoria had rushed into me. Creating a lazy pleasure as I basked in the sun. Unaffected from the glader's probably losing their minds below me. They should try floating like this sometime. It was way better than stressing over death and survival and anything ever again.