Devil

-21-

-Esla-

"Hey y'all. It's Esla. This gon be a recorded vlog for today cause I might have to edit out some parts since I'm getting ready for school," I told my phone as I propped it up. I had already showered and clothed myself. "As some of you may already know, this is gonna be my first day back at school...since everything. Ian scared, I'm just...tired, you know? It feels like these past few days have just been a lot on me, but ima thug so you know I'm finna push through," I told the phone.

I leaned towards the mirror and started applying some concealer. "I'm just gonna work through some of my usual makeup stuff. The type of stuff I explained more thoroughly in my GRWM video on my first day. I really ain't switched up my makeup stuff that much, it's only February, but I'll do another at the end of the year just in case," I told it.

After I was done recording and getting ready, I headed down for breakfast. Everything felt so abnormal seeing my father still at home and not getting ready to go down to his mechanic shop. "Have a nice day at school, cookie," he told me with a grin. "I made your lunch." I smiled appreciatively, then made my way out of the door (before I could cry) behind my mother, my backpack slung over my shoulder.

Day was breaking through the night sky, and it was still a bit chilly, the humidity of the day not yet settling in. I got into my mother's car, mentally giving myself a pep talk about school. Kiersten hadn't text me yet, and I'm not sure if she would. We might be only able to hang out at school, but hopefully it hadn't come to that. It seemed like my life was falling to pieces ever since that fight. It made me so angry that I almost wanted to find that girl again and go back for round two.

But I was done with being stupid.

The drive to PISSH was short and certainly didn't feel sweet. I'm glad I had globbed on a lot of deodorant and even brought some with me, because I was nervous for the moment when I'd step out of the car and all eyes would be on me. I was wearing a plain black t-shirt and some ripped medium-blue jeans, with black Huaraches, and my twisted hair tied up into a knot.

I applied another layer of lip gloss over my brown lined lips and glanced over at my mother, hoping to see at least an inkling of reassurance on her face.

"You got this, honeybee," she gave my forehead a kiss, ignoring my playful scowl. "Thanks mama."

I stepped out of the car and sucked in a breath, wishing I had thought to grab my earbuds out of my backpack before I had gotten out of the car. Now I'd probably be able to hear the various whispers about me. I had went from a sort-of-nobody to a somebody, and now all my years of wishing to be popular seemed to drain out of me.

What if my hair was coming unloose? What if I had deodorant stains on my shirt? What if my pants had a sweat stain on the back? What if my lips weren't blended enough with the gloss? What if-

"Hey, Esla," a girl looped her arm through mine on the right side of me and beamed up at me. She had darker skin and pretty teeth with coal black eyes. Her smooth skin was flawless, and her hair was fluffy and natural. "I know you fucking tired of everybody talking and staring at you, girl. I just had to come and rescue you," she whispered into my ear. "The cafeteria has breakfast? Wanna go this way?" she tilted her head towards the cafeteria doors as we walked slowly.

We made our way through the crowds of freshman trying to take morning pics and boomerangs with they little hips cocked out, and stepped into the cold air of the building. "I'm Jashaea," the girl stuck out her hand. I shook it, offering her a grateful smile. I didn't know who the hell she really was or if she had any hidden intentions, but I had to trust she was legit for now.