𝙗𝙪𝙣𝙜𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙮 𝙙𝙤𝙜𝙨 - 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬 + 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬

- ❝ Soukoku + Shin Soukoku - funfair ❞

The four met up...
- Chuuya Nakahara
- Dazai Osamu
- Akutagawa Ryunosuke
- Atsushi Nakajima

"*cough* What are we doing here?" Akutagawa asked in curiosity. Dazai jumped up and down like a little kid and exclaimed, "Are you dumb? Of course we are here to play along! ... with our partners." Atsushi looked at Akutagawa with a confused look. "You...You again?!" Atsushi yelled. "Jinko. Uhm-" Akutagawa stuttled before continuing. "Let's just enjoy our time." Atsushi faintly nodded and followed the older everywhere.

Meanwhile Dazai and Chuuya...

Chuuya : "Heuh? What do you want? Tch."

Dazai : "Heheh. Lesss gooooo!"

Dazai yanked Chuuya's wrist and arrived at a store. "Look. Darts." Dazai said in a deep voice as Chuuya immediately replied, "Yes. To murder yourself and grant your wish." Dazai lowered himself to Chuuya's level and smirked. "I rather not die in your hands..." "You idiot."

Chuuya threw the darts, trying to aim at the target but ended up missing every throw while Dazai stood aside wheezing.

- AkuAtsu -

"Uhm, strawberry milkskake?" Atsushi requested. Akutagawa looked at Atsushi with a weird look. "W-what? You don't like milkshakes? I-I'M SORRY!" Atsushi stuttered in halts and hiatuses. Akutagawa then gently pat his head and walked off, leaving the younger blushing.

- Back to DaChuu -

"MAN, MOVE, YOU'RE BLOCKING MY WAY." Chuuya yelled in irritation at Dazai, who was blocking Chuuya. The Double Black was playing Bowling.

"YEEEOWWW-" Chuuya whined in pain. The bowling ball had dropped right onto Chuuya's little feet as Dazai had bumped into him on purpose. "YOU IDIOT. OUC-" Dazai interrupted as he placed his index finger on Chuuya's lips. "Shut it, Ginger." Chuuya glared at Dazai as he limped towards the resting area, clutching onto his shoes. Dazai picked up a five-kilogram bowling ball and threw it towards the pins.

BOOM!

"Really... Are you that stupid." Chuuya whispered under his breath, witnessing that Dazai had made a large whole on the ceiling.
"Oops," Dazai said, turning around, facing Chuuya. "I want to kill you but I can't." Chuuya hollowed.
"What's stopping you?" Dazai asked.
"Shut the fuck up, suicidal freak."
Chuuya pulled Dazai's coat towards the exit, leaving the large hole in the ceiling. Chuuya continued limping while pulling Dazai with him. Noticing his little limps, Dazai carried his small body and sat on a bench. "Rest here."
"What are you doing? Bastard, go away-" Chuuya said but Dazai stopped him from finishing his sentence by planting a kiss on his lips. "The fuck?" Chuuya said, trying to cover up his face with his fancy hat. He pulled Dazai by his collar and whispered, "I hate you," before collapsing down onto the bench again. "I hate you too." Dazai responded.

How cute.

- AkuAtsu -

"Jinko."
"Y-yes?"
"Come here."
"O-okay..."
"I-I li- I- uhm."
"Huh?"
"Nothing."
"Okay-"

C'mon

After a whole ass hour, the four decided to meet up again.

"How was your tiiiimee," Dazai shouted, not minding the crowd around him.

"You even dare to ask? Even after what you did to my poor ass feet?" Chuuya said with a straight face, trying to consume his anger. "Well..." Dazai hesitated, smiling slightly.

"I-it was great!" Atsushi exclaimed.
"How about you, Akutagawa?" Dazai questioned.
"Ahem, yes. Wonderful."

"How about we get something to eat, shall we?" Dazai asked, his stomach roaring louder than ever.

--- fast forward to reaching the funfair coffee shop ---

~ Akutagawa got green tea.
~ Atsushi got strawberry milkshake, as usual.
~ Chuuya got wine.
~ Dazai got black coffee.

"Chuuuyaaa~" Dazai said, extending his voice.
"Shut up," Chuuya shot back while playing with the half-filled glass of wine in between his fingers. Dazai unexpectedly jumped onto Chuuya, causing the drink to spill. "DUDE WHAT- YOU GOT ME ALL WET." Dazai instantly got up and said, "Wet? How about I make you wetter?" Chuuya turned red and ran towards the restroom to clean himself up. And yes, Dazai followed behind.

Meanwhile... it was left with Atsushi and Akutagawa alone.

"Uh-" Atsushi stuttered,
"This is awkward."

"Yes. *cough* I- uh"
*Akutagawa internally panicking from awkward eye contact*
"Atsushi pulled Akutagawa's side-hair and played with it. Little Sushi is entertained by little things. :))

Akutagawa stared at Atsushi's big eyes and blushed. "Are you okay? Fever? Why are you red?" Atsushi cautiously asked. "Uh no." The answer was simple.
Both of them continued to "flirt" with each other, not knowing that Dazai and Chuuya had been watching them the whole time.

"Would you stop breathing in my face." Chuuya groaned while crawling on the ground with Dazai. "You shut up. Don't ruin their moment with your loud ass voice." Dazai said, adding in a tone of anger. "Move away from me or I will kick you." Dazai turned to Chuuya and leaned near him. "Ah? You want to kick me? I will squish your balls." Chuuya's eyes widened as he angrily kicked Dazai where the sun never shines. "What the fuc-" Dazai yelled, backing off from Chuuya. "Take that, mackerel." "You really are an idiot, shortie." Dazai said while Chuuya walked back to his seat. Dazai quickly resetted his posture and went back, too. Fortunately, Chuuya did not kick Dazai too hard or else he would not have been able to walk. Dazai sat down and let out a sigh. "Pain, huh." Chuuya teased. "Yes, you. Having you in my life is like eating your shit." Dazai teased back at Chuuya. "Oh really? I will give you some of my shits for you to feed on." Chuuya replied, his voice rising a little higher. "Okay. CHUUUYAAAA! YOU LOOOVE ME RIGGGHHTTT?" Dazai yelled at the top of his lungs, attracting everyone's attention.
"YOU FUCKING IDIOT." Chuuya screamed as he kicked Dazai in the same area again before walking off in embarrassment. Dazai sat still for a moment before yelling in pain again. "Oh well. I got what I deserved, OOF- EEEUAAHHH" Screams could be heard from the outside of the coffee shop. Akutagawa and Atsushi stared blankly at the whole commotion. "What- what just-" Both of them said in unison as they looked at each other.
"I-I'll be right back!-" Dazai said before scurrying off, chasing after Chuuya. But he never returned - He hopped onto Chuuya's back, resting his chin on his head. "Chu Chuuu-"
"Stop calling me that or I will kick you until you won't be able to reproduce anymore."
"Okay, okayy- please stay with me my Chu Chu~"
"I ALREADY SAID-" Chuuya yelled, swinging his legs in Dazai's direction. Unfortunately for him, Chuuya missed his target as Dazai managed to dodge the attack in time. "What a waste, Chu Chu~ I'm not letting you kick me again-" Chuuya grumbled in ire and stomped off. Obviously, Dazai stalked him back home.

Akutagawa and Atsushi continued to sit in their own seats, staring at each other. "I guess we should go back now- Dazai and Chuuya already left," Atsushi suggested ss Akutagawa blinked rapidly before responding, "Oh.... okay. Uhm. L-love you." He turned around, covering his face with Rashoumon. Atsushi stared blankly at him before giggling, "Love you toooo," and left the coffee shop, so did Akutagawa.

𝖧𝖠𝖧𝖲𝖧𝖲𝖧𝖲𝖧𝖲𝖧𝖲𝖧𝖠 𝖨 𝖣𝖮𝖭𝖳 𝖤𝖵𝖤𝖭 𝖪𝖭𝖮𝖶 𝖶𝖧𝖠𝖳 𝖨 𝖧𝖠𝖣 𝖩𝖴𝖲𝖳 𝖶𝖱𝖮𝖳𝖤- 𝖠𝖭𝖸𝖶𝖠𝖸𝖲 𝖭𝖤𝖷𝖳 𝖥𝖤𝖶 𝖢𝖧𝖠𝖯𝖳𝖤𝖱𝖲 𝖢𝖮𝖬𝖨𝖭𝖦 𝖲𝖮𝖮𝖭.

𝖢𝖸𝖠𝖠𝖠𝖠𝖠!!!

- 𝐣𝐢𝐧𝐠 🥀

(edit 7/9/21 : my first oneshot is so shit man when i read it again LMAOAOA i rather yall read the other oneshots / chatfics / gc memes / if bsd had ig ones,,, they're much more entertaining haha)