𝙗𝙪𝙣𝙜𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙮 𝙙𝙤𝙜𝙨 - 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬 + 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬

~ chatfic #3

- the author is currently too lazy to think of anymore one shots and had decided to make it up by publishing more shitposts.

[ edited! ]

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ˏˋ°•*⁀➷˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

"Somewhere out there, a tree is producing oxygen for you. You owe that tree an apology."

-𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐧𝐮𝐭𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐥

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ˏˋ°•*⁀➷˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

"You've been talking so much shit you need a hundred rolls of toilet paper."

-𝐊𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐤𝐢𝐝𝐚 𝐭𝐨 𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ˏˋ°•*⁀➷˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

𝐂𝐡𝐮𝐮𝐲𝐚 : "Fucking suicidal maniac, go away."

𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢 : "No, i'm just baffled by how flexible you can be. How the fuck you managed to get your foot in your mouth and then your head far up your ass is beyond me."

𝐂𝐡𝐮𝐮𝐲𝐚 : ...

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ˏˋ°•*⁀➷˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

𝐅𝐲𝐨𝐝𝐨𝐫 : *Blabbing his nonsense*

𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢 : "Wow, you really puffed up a BIG one; your ass is probably jealous of all that shit coming out from your mouth."

𝐅𝐲𝐨𝐝𝐨𝐫 :

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ˏˋ°•*⁀➷˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢 : "Everytime you speak, my braincells begin to commit suicide one after another."

𝐂𝐡𝐮𝐮𝐲𝐚 : "But you didn't have any in the first place."

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ˏˋ°•*⁀➷˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐩𝐨 : "Can you go be stupid somewhere else rather than being right in front of my face? Damn."

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ˏˋ°•*⁀➷˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

𝐂𝐡𝐮𝐮𝐲𝐚 : "God, help the person who ends up dating Dazai."

𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢, 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐮𝐮𝐲𝐚 : "Eh?"

𝐂𝐡𝐮𝐮𝐲𝐚 : "Fuck."

𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢 : "Me."

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ˏˋ°•*⁀➷˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

𝐘𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐨 : "Can somebody just get injured already?!"

𝐀𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢 : "Everyone knows that you're gonna seduc-"

𝐘𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐨 : "Shut the fuck up, how about I get you injured and then treat you?"

𝐀𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢 : "N-no ma'am, tHAT AIN'T HAPPENING AGAIN, NEVER." *𝒔𝒄𝒖𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒐𝒇𝒇*

𝐘𝐨𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐨 : "Tch."

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ˏˋ°•*⁀➷˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

𝐊𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐤𝐢𝐝𝐚 : "That is the very thing I fucking told you not to do."

𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢 : "Did you really think I'd listen?"

face palm-

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ˏˋ°•*⁀➷˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

𝐂𝐡𝐮𝐮𝐲𝐚 : "If you do that one more time, I'll throw you out of that fucking window you- The fuck are you doing?"