Chapter 14
"We stayed all day at the hospital, The nurse came back and informed us that we couldn't stay the night, Solange laid in the bed with my Dad as she read her book, I sat on the side, and my mom sat at the foot.
I had calmed down a lot since my break down earlier. he wasn't dead yet, so I forced myself to still have hope. I just wanted him to wake up. when I touched his hand and it was still warm, I felt better and could stand to see him looking so helpless the way he did.
10pm we were leaving, and on our way back home. I knew my mom was tired so I drove, that also meant she wasn't cooking, it was super late anyway. I'm sure they didn't mind if we stopped somewhere instead of spacing over a hot stove.
"Yall hungry?" I looked over at my mom, she was just staring into space, she looked super sad. it broke my heart.
I looked in the rear view mirror and Solange was still reading the same book she's been reading since this morning. my mom didn't answer but Solange agreed that she could eat.
It was a 24hr Whataburger around the corner from our house so I just stopped there. my mom didn't eat beef so I just ordered a simple chicken sandwich meal. She looked out of it. and it scared me.
Pulling up in the drive way, I gave Solange the Keys and told her we would be inside in a few. she nodded, and took the food and left us. I needed to talk to my mama. I knew this was tough on all of us, but I've never seen her like this.
"Mommy" I said her name softly, I wanted her to open up with me, so I took a gentle approach.
"Talk to me" I continued, I wasn't going to ask what was wrong. it was evident that my dads health was the issue, it was all of our issues. but she was always better at covering it up.
I stared at her intensely, and I seen a tear fall. and a small silence followed
"Baby, I know I've always been the one to save and comfort in hard times-..." She spoke barely above a whisper, as she stared out the window, "But this go round, I maybe the one who needs the saving and comforting.." She glanced over at me, and she had tears in her eyes.
My heart broke, and of course my eyes watered at the sight. I couldn't stand to see my mother cry.
Her crying face was beginning to form, which meant she was about to break.
"I'm scared baby..." She said, and tears began to stream down her cheeks, "that's my best friend laying in that bed, and I don't know what to do..how I'm gonna live without him."
"Shh.. don't talk like that." the irony was heavy wasn't it? .. that was my whole thought process, pessimistic thoughts of my dad not pulling through. and me trying to figure out how I was going to live without him my damn self. I knew exactly what my moms was feeling, I didn't even know if I had the right words to comfort her.
"We just have to pray, and hope for the best okay." I assured her pulling her into a tight, and what I made out to be a comforting hug.
We had no choice but to try and get through this, together.
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We visited my father every single day, all day. Kels and my aunt Karen would come down for a few days every now and again but they could never stay due to work, which we understood.
Everyone had their own lives, and ours consisted of being here for my father.
A lot of family was coming down to visit, even some of his colleague friends, every one was sending their condolences although he wasn't dead yet. we couldn't blame them because it was still no improvement.
