Chapter 9 - part 1
"When we got out the car, I kind of kept replaying what he said about being my teacher and not caring. what the hell did that mean? and what the hell did he think this was, if he thought some shit was going to go down between us he was straight tripping. As much as I desired too, he was right.. I couldn't get over the fact that he was my teacher. I didn't think that was a bad thing..
He opened the restaurant door for me, and I guess he took me being silent after he made that little statement in the car as me being upset or something, I wasn't though. it just sort of took me by surprise that's all. As the hostess took us to a booth in the back of the restaurant by the window.
"You know, I was only half serious about what I said in the car." He said to me to break the silence, I thought the way he worded it was cute. I chuckled. and we were sitting now. "I don't really know if that's how you feel. but I do know it's not an issue for me" he concluded. I wanted to get an understanding of this man.
"What's not an issue for you?!" I asked straight forward, and seriously. the little shy and timid me was still there but I didn't want him to look at me as innocent, shy, or easy. I know I come off as that way to a lot of people. and although I am half of that, the shy and timid part, I'm far from easy, I'm not naive, very independent and very much a woman. and he was going to see as one. not one of his little students. he wanted to talk to me and flirt with me like I wasn't his student, fine.
He studied my posture and knew this was about to turn into a serious conversation, this was nothing to play with. he's my teacher and I'm his student. simple. he can lose his fucking job, and the press is going to dog me like some tramp whore who sleeps and messes around with their teacher, and although I was speaking way to early for any of this shit to even go down, it was still a possibility and I wasn't going to go through that shit.
"Me being attracted to you although you're my student, flirting, having dinner at Denny's. and so on and so forth." He stared at me in the eyes, sipping his water the waiter had came and brought both of us. I smirked matter-of-factly at him not leaving his eye sight like I knew his kind. and although I felt like I did he was becoming more unpredictable by the second and I don't know if that was a good thing.
"And why is that?" I felt like I needed to challenge him, but this probably wasn't even a challenge.
"Because there isn't harm being done. why not? I don't understand the issue.." He said speaking as if there shouldn't be one, as society and politics makes it a deal. and I understood what he was saying it actually opened up a leway in the back of my head for something to really think about, because in all actuality. there wasn't any harm being done and all of a sudden I didn't understand neither. why was this really an issue for me?!
I smirked and shrugged, and sipped my water. "Well you know, I guess it's nothing wrong with being attracted to your students. but yo-.."
He cut me off by laughing "My students? I don't know how I feel about that being plural. what? you take me as being some type of man whore or some shit. like I just be attracted to all my students.? take that s off of their man." He said in a joking manner, but serious. I laughed at the way he worded what he said.
"I didn't mean it like that.." I tried to save face.
"bullshit. yes you did. what? you see my cars, you seen my crib. the way I dress and carry myself. you think I just be fucking and dodging huh!" He said. he spoke with a friendly and humorous tone so I'd know this conversation was completely platonic and to let me know he wasn't offended in any way. I guess it was a common perception of him.
I smiled. "I mean, it crossed my mind. but I try not to judge when I don't really know a person."
"Well why not get to know me.?" He asked softly. still staring at me, before I could even respond the waiter was coming back asking to take our orders, which I thanked for. this was such an awkward situation. I hated how easy it was to talk to him, and how I believed everything. was I really naive?. maybe I believed It because I was suppose to? I don't know. it was just weird.. HE'S MY TEACHER!! I got a headache every time I thought about it. He went on and ordered a chicken sandwich and I ordered some chicken strips. I wasn't starving like I usually am, so I got something light. I guess he knew the last statement he made, made me a little uncomfortable so he went on to change the subject when the waiter collected our menus and bounced.
