Chapter 21
"Today was the funeral for her dad, it had been almost two full weeks since his passing. Although Bey still refused to acknowledge everything that transpired it took a lot of convincing for her to even attend the funeral.
The day Solange texted me with the information I brought it up to Bey. She immediately told me she wasn't going, and that I wasn't going to be able to change her mind no matter what I did.
But thankfully, a good few fucks, a few good orgasms, and a great pillow talk was convincing enough. I hated using sex as a crippling escape to avoid talking about anything that I felt was emotionally or mentally important.
All I thought it did was make her even more emotionally unstable. It seemed that's all she wanted from me now, was sex.
She barely talked, or did anything for that matter. it was easy to say that she was going into a deep depression, but I hated to feel like I was bugging her. If I gave her that insinuation she would just shut me out, until late hours of the night when I would feel her rubbing my dick while sucking the life out of my neck, trying to get an response out of me, ready for yet another session.
And while it is never hard, In only two weeks, it has become pretty exhausting. Not because I'm tired of making love and fuxking her the way she begs for me too, at least three times, sometimes four a day, but because I know its so unhealthy.
For the both of us.
Everytime I bring up her family, or more specifically about what happened at the hospital she would, yet again, just shut down.
She never wants to talk about it. And as a psychology Teacher, it's so hard for me to accept because I know it's not helping her, but I have to be okay with it until she is ready.
Today seemed slow, it felt cold, and dark. It was just in the air. Bey stayed up most of the night crying herself sick, and I stayed up most of the night trying my best to comfort her.
one minute she would fight and scream at me to leave her alone, and then the next, she was begging and crying for me to make her feel good. And that was simply to Fuck her.
I dragged her out of bed this morning and cleaned her up. I took out the Black dress Kelly had brought over to my house with Ty a few days ago and proceeded to put it on her. Along with the accessories, without any participation from her.
She was lifeless.
"Bey.." I sighed. She looked so cold."Baby.."
"I told you I don't want to go Jay. please don't make me go" Her eyes watering immediately, she gripped my arms. "I can't do it" She panted..
I didn't know she had anymore tears in her, my heart ached. I wanted to just say 'fuck it' and not make her go, but I knew if I didn't make her go, that she was going to regret it for the rest of her life.
"Baby.." I said to her, kissing her neck. trying to soothe her emotions and nerves best I could. she couldn't tame them. "Relax for me Bey, please."
I don't know if she noticed, but I was helpless. If she didn't listen to that small plea then I was out of options.
I was tired too.
She held me close to her, and I held her closer. We stood in this position for several minutes, and she just cried. "I can't believe he's gone!" She wept "This just doesn't feel real.."
It was the first time she acknowledged his death in two weeks.
I was out of solutions, I didn't know what to do at this point, I rubbed her back and consoled her as best as I could but this time seemed different.
