The Rugged Edge

Chapter 9: By Dead Roses

Never finding where to go,
loneliness was all I knew...
'till one like a mother hoed
a hope in grey in me.

. . . . .

The tent was just the same as before. Rufus sat with his bird's-nest yellow hair and brown cloak on the stool in front of the table, on top of which lay the map. Maybe Rufus had moved a few markers on it, but the dim lighting still cast a foreboding shadow on his face, and his odd smile still made me shiver.

I sat on the stool in front of the table. "Yes?" I asked.

Quinnie's sweet countenance seemed much more pleasant than his cold grey eyes.

He smiled. "As you can see, the sun will rise soon, at which time you must be back in your bed. But I still need to give you instructions, so here they are: you must try to gather any information that might be useful to the rebellion, and report back here whenever you have some. Come at night. You must not be missed. There is one person in Rokenfort with whom it is safe to converse: Geraint, the guard. We hope to send in more spies as soon as possible. Do not converse in the open."

"Sir?" I asked. "One question."

"Yes? Ask promptly, you need to leave."

"Geraint. He's a spy?"

"Yes."

"But he told Collum that he was going to burn the document."

"The one you kept trying to steal?"

"Yes."

"He was as much a spy then," said Rufus, "as he is now. Now, you need to go."

And the tent flap flipped back, revealing Aldith. I had no choice but to go with her.

. . .

I had to hurry on the way back. Aldith had shown me to the edge of the forest, and then I scurried through the overgrown grass and scaled the wall. The sun was bright orange against the sky, and I had to be careful to avoid sight as I snuck into my room, changed into a more suitable outfit, and strolled back down into the kitchens, where Bessy stood peeling the potatoes.

"Bessy?" I asked. "I was wondering if I could see if the roses outside are too wet; maybe they need less water."

She looked up at me with a look of surprise, seeing immediately that I didn't care in the least how much water the roses had. "Of course."

The kitchen maid looked up as we passed, but rapidly returned to scrubbing the table. The roses, outside, were dead. It looked as if they would be blown away with the slightest gust of wind. It was actually surprising that they had lived so long.

"What happened, Ise?" asked Bessy.

And I told her. Everything that I had not told Aldith, Cyneric, or Rufus. I told her about how I thought Collum had killed my mother, reminded her of how I'd been so miserable for the document, about my "training" in the woods. I told her about overhearing the two scouts amongst the trees and I told her about the spies in the castle only a couple of nights before. I told Bessy about the rebellion: about Rufus, about his explanation of Bessy, about Quinnie, and about the time I'd spent talking to her. About Quinnie's smile. About her friendliness. And I told her about Geraint.

Bessy pondered me. "Ise," she began.

For a moment I was afraid that she'd be mad at me for... well, all of it; that she'd be angry. I didn't want that. She was the closest thing I had to a mother.

"Ise, I'm proud of you," she said.

"Proud?" I exclaimed, unable to hide my shock.

Bessy smiled. "Yes. You took it into your own hands, and did what only your small hands thought they could do. You did it to return the kingdom to what it was. You, like only the best of queens, did everything for the kingdom."

"No, I didn't," I said meekly, looking down. "I did it for revenge about my mother."

"Maybe partly," said Bessy. "Because you needed a mother, and you deeply feel the lack of one. But how you describe the gloom of the kingdom, and how you want to fix that, isn't that out of love for the kingdom and for the people?"

I was quiet.

"But we should get to more pressing matters," she said. "You must not be caught by Collum, or the whole rebellion could be torn down. You must be extremely careful."

I nodded. I had heard these instructions twice now, and I didn't need telling a third time.

"About Geraint," she said. "If you said the girl, Quinnie, told you he would be coming back last night, it's likely that he knows about you. I suggest you find him and talk to him, where you will not be heard. It would be wise to have an ally inside the castle, and one that you're on friendly terms with."

"Alright," I said. "Bessy?"

"Yes, dear?"

"You left the rebellion. I never knew you were part of it."

Bessy sighed. "Yes, I was part of it, once. Many years ago." She sighed again, then smiled sadly. "There was a time when I was as wild a girl as you. It was many, many years ago..." Remembering, her eyes adopted a glazed look. "I grew out of it, I guess you could say, but my character never went away. It only softened a bit. I became the cook in Rokenfort when your father was born. That's what softened me. I loved him as a son, like I love you as a daughter. He had so many nurses, so many caretakers, and he had his very own mother, but no one had time for him. So he kept coming back to the kitchens."

I smiled pensively. I could relate.

"I was jubilant when William married your mother. He was so happy. He loved her so dearly. You should have seen him propose." Bessy smiled, memory of laughter in her eyes. But next minute, there were tears there. "Then in the war he died. And Collum took his place. But his place couldn't be filled, not for Giovanna. I could see the sadness in her eyes everywhere she went. She didn't love Collum, and he didn't love her. I, however, found someone to fill that hole." She looked at me so lovingly, tears having left a glimmer in her eyes.

I'd always loved Bessy dearly, but I guess I'd never realized what I meant to her. I felt a new kind of joy, a joy that swelled in a place in my heart that had felt empty. It was love. Or being loved. Odd that it made me want to cry.

But Bessy was not finished. "Once Giovanna died, I saw the kingdom die with her. I had to watch the kingdom I loved fade away into shadow. So I decided to do something about it," Bessy's face hardened. "I couldn't bear to see Collum tear down the home I loved, which he did not care for. Felton, my nephew from Runa, Rufus, who had recently moved there from another village, and I met up and put together a rebellion against Collum," she continued. "At first only a few people joined. But as the kingdom grew worse, the group grew. Rufus, Felton, and I led the group into the forest as we grew bigger and feared detection. But after a while spent planning, I had an argument with Rufus: he wanted both you and Collum taken from the throne, but I disagreed. There was no need for you to leave. You, of course, could be queen when you were fifteen. But Rufus was adamant: he wanted you out. So I left. I told him that I would protect you above all else, even above the kingdom."

All I could do was give her a look of utter gratitude.

"I don't know very much about what happened afterwards," continued Bessy. "Only this: that after another year of the rebellion, idly looking for ways to infiltrate Rokenfort, Felton showed up dead." Bessie looked at me thoughtfully. "Ise, I think you should watch Rufus. Felton only showed up dead after an argument with him."