The Rugged Edge

Chapter 16: An Audience With the King

Love for kingdom, never known,
forever drives me onward.
Desp'rately, to take the throne,
I found veiled hope in grey.

. . . . .

I was in bed. It was very dark, and dust hung in the air. I just waited for dawn because I couldn't sleep; the castle was very loud. I could hear Collum shouting orders from outside on the wall, but his voice was shrill and hoarse and I'm sure no one could understand him. And I was sure that Professor Alastair was safe.

Still, I felt that guilt weighing on me. I'd taken his home from him, and it didn't seem to matter that it was a mistake. It was still my fault. I had to fix everything.

As I lay there, I thought about what it would be like to be queen. In reality, it didn't sound appealing at all. I just wanted to make a change in the kingdom. Actually, my own life as a queen sounded just as lonely as the life I led now. Oh, well, I thought. It wasn't like it would be new, loneliness. At least I could make life better for everyone else.

And then, though I didn't sleep, I dreamt. I dreamt about Rokenfort, and instead of seeing countless dark rooms, devoid of torchlight or voices, I saw each spare room as a comely home for the servants I would hire, and each tower as a magnificent lookout. The library would be cleared of dust, and the servants would be able to read in their free time. The Hall of History, which had been filled with portraits when I was little and was now as empty and cobwebbed as could be, would be returned to its old brilliance. And it wouldn't only display paintings of Rokenmeine's past rulers. I would hire painters to paint Runa and every other place in Rokenmeine, once again lively, and once again bright. Its beautiful memory would be captured in the Hall of History. I could almost hear the music in my waking dream.

And then the dark and dusty room, Bessy's dead roses, the rebellion and the cause, the fact that I wasn't queen yet... everything crept back into my senses. My fingers felt cold as Rokenfort's outer wall cast a shadow on everything. Though the sun was rising, its brilliant rays couldn't seem to reach my heart. I closed my eyes, willing the gloom to disappear, but it wouldn't. It simply wouldn't.

So I pulled myself out of bed and changed into a new dress. The one I'd worn all evening and night was torn to shreds and pine needles from the forest still grabbed at its hem. I resolved to burn it in the kitchen fire so Collum wouldn't find it and wonder what on earth I could have done to ruin it like that.

I dressed carefully. I wanted to look... persuasive. But to achieve this, I would have to seem weak. I would have to fit the wardrobe to the piece. Today, I would go to court and ask Collum for a bodyguard. It had to be done well. I waited for Nicole to come so that she could help me with what she would suppose was a sprained ankle. I told her to stay with me all day.

Nothing of importance happened until about ten o'clock, when I told Nicole that I needed to go to the Great Hall. She helped me down the stairs and through the side door. Then she went inside, and I could clearly hear her say,

"Your Majesty, her Royal Highness Princess Eloise seeks an audience with you."

I could feel the formality on the air, and it drove me insane. But I knew that to get this right, I'd have to let it go.

There was a pause as the words seemed to sink into every stone of the castle. Then I heard Collum's voice. "Very well." He didn't say anything else, but I could sense that there was much more that he would have liked to say. For one, why on earth did I seek a formal audience with him, something I'd never done in my life?

The maid opened the door for me to step through. Then she stood up against the wall and I limped to the center of the room.

I couldn't remember ever being in the hall, unless, of course, it was when my mother had occupied the throne. Now, Collum was there, sitting on the large wooden chair at the front of the hall. I seemed to recall that when I was small, the throne had been covered in elegant cushions. Maybe there had been a table next to it. But now, the cushions seemed to have been put away in the cellar or maybe even sold. There was a single guard standing next to Collum, looking as if he'd been very bored all day. In all honesty, I felt like Collum's place was just as boring. Yet he looked pleased to be sitting there. He was probably pleased with himself.

The Great Hall was a large and long stone room. Its corners were dusty, just like the rest of Rokenfort, but one could sense its constant use. The wooden chandeliers on the ceiling were lit, and they seemed to give life to this room, a life that the rest of the fortress lacked.

"Princess Eloise," said Collum. He seemed to be trying to put warmth into his words, but he was failing. He still hated me. "Do you need something?"

"Your Majesty," I said, and took a deep breath. It was the moment. "All over the castle, I have heard about what occurred last night. I have always trusted Professor Alastair, but his showing infidelity towards you, and then running away once it was discovered - it has placed me in a state of discomfort. Your Majesty, have you thought about the fact that someone must have warned him once you found out that he had been instructing me on forbidden topics?"

"Yes, I have thought about that," said Collum. I couldn't tell what his facial expressions said. Maybe it was because he was just as confused by this ordeal. "And I mean to catch them in addition to Alastair."

"Of course you would; as you are skilled with defense. That is why my mother chose you as her spouse, isn't it?"

"Yes, of course."

"But I came to ask Your Majesty for something," I continued. "You see, after the ordeal last night, I have come to feel a sense of insecurity. Alastair went against your wishes and my well being. This gives me a sense of vulnerability. I am sure I would feel much more secure if you assigned a bodyguard to me. That way, I would have protection wherever I am and with whomever I am with."

Collum considered me. "I see. That is a very good point. We do not want our... heir to be murdered in cold blood."

I tried to shiver, but really, the idea of someone trying to murder me didn't seem so bad. It would give me something direct to fight.

"I think I will choose someone from my guard," said Collum. He seemed to be in a state of indecision.

"If I can help you to decide at all," I said. "I may have a preference."

"I see," said the so-called king. "And how would you have come across a preference?"

"The one soldier who helped me with my books last night," I answered, "was very gentlemanly and respected me according to my place as royalty. What was his name? Gerwin?"

"Geraint," corrected Collum. "I see. He is one of my most trusted guards, and I am sure that he is respectful towards you. That is a good choice."

I curtsied, being careful with my "bad foot".

"Alright, I will assign him as your personal guard," said Collum. "However, he has many duties and at times may have to comply to those first. Still, I will take him off of watch duty." He seemed to be more pensive than decided.

I curtsied again. "Thank you, Your Majesty."

"Yes, yes, of course." He gestured towards the door, and I limped away.