The Rugged Edge

Chapter 21: Preparation for Vereniva

Goodbyes to someone, lonely as me
reveals that she's like a growing tree:
she's able to thrive, remembrance in tow,
while she abides in abundant growth.

. . . . .

Two nights before the departure to Vereniva, Geraint and I stole off to the rebellion camp to say goodbye. We'd been there once before to inform Rufus of the trip and what we hoped to achieve there in talking to the servants. He suggested we try to go to the village of Vilia for even more intel. We hadn't had time to talk to Geraint's family or anyone else because we'd come somewhat late.

Tonight we went to say goodbye.

Quinnie was the first one to see us, as usual, and she skipped over and hugged Geraint and smiled widely at me.

"Hello!" she began. "What are you here for tonight? You'd better have some time to talk to me and not only to Rufus." But she didn't sound hurt about it at all. She just sounded happy to see us. If there was one thing that Quinnie understood, it would be that others loved her even if though they didn't have time to spend with her.

"We came just for you," said Geraint. "And Ma and Pa."

"Oh! That's fantastic," said his sister, and her face showed it.

"But we came to say goodbye," continued the guard.

"Goodbye?" Quinnie looked confused and her smiled dimmed. Then a moment later, it sprang back to life. "Oh! The summer trip to Vereniva! Only this morning I was wondering when that was, and if you were going again."

Geraint smiled. "Yup. And Ise is going, too."

Quinnie beamed at me. All she did was beam.

"I wish you could come," said Geraint, his own smile quite gone.

"I do, too, sometimes," said Quinnie, and her smile was sad. "But for now, it's good enough that you get to go. When all this is over, we can all go, as a family." She paused. "Don't worry, I'll get along without you."

And I knew she was sincere, even though her smile was sad.

"Have you gone before, Ise?" she asked.

"No," I said. "It's a recent development. Collum said that, for my protection, it's best that I stay with him."

"Oh! Well, from what Geraint has told me about it - and he's told novels, I promise - it's a fantastic place," she said. "Maybe it's only in comparison to what we know here, but still, it'll be better. It'll make you happy."

"But how will you be happy?" I asked.

She smiled again. "I'll be happy knowing that you and Geraint are happy."

It was my turn to smile now. Quinnie really was amazing. Though she was my same age and lived in the same crushed world, she was my opposite in mindset. She acted innocent, but she held so much depth, dug out by the life she'd led. I'd been lonely all my life, and she was lonely now, being the only person of her age living in the camp. Yet the fact that she hadn't been lonely all of her life - that she'd always had someone to care for her in the position of parent, and someone to care for her in the position of brother; care growing under someone who loved her and care growing with someone who loved her - seemed to make all the difference.

Not for the first time, I desperately wished that I could have had my own parents to love me like that. Maybe I would have even had sibling to grow with.

But there was no point in pondering such if only's.

. . .

The next morning I visited Bessy in the kitchen.

I'd visited her three times since I'd learned that I was going Vereniva. I puzzled most about how the summer home would be. According to Geraint, it was absolutely magnificent. Now it seemed that it was Bessy who was hopeless: she seemed unwilling to believe that there could be a lovely place worth going to anywhere in Rokenmeine.

"Geraint says it's because the servants do their job well all year," I said. "I'll have to ask them. I hope I get a lot of chances to talk to them. What I really want to know is what they think of Collum."

"I'm sure you'll learn quickly," answered Bessy. "Anyway, I hope you can enjoy it. I really hope it is magnificent. I guess I'm just afraid to hope something like that, only to go and see that it's a lie."

All those years I'd spent being upheld by Bessy; being encouraged by Bessy... I hadn't even considered the thought that maybe Bessy needed encouraged sometimes, too.

"I'll stay busy," said Bessy. "I'll visit the camp and keep Quinnie company. Poor girl! The other night, Elbert told me that ever since they'd joined the camp and Geraint had left to be a spy, she'd been nearly as lonely as you. No one her age in that shadowed place. Maybe I can find a way to get her as a spy, too. She could be my new kitchen maid."

"I know," I said. "I never thought about it before, but I realized it's true. She is lonely, to a certain extent. But at the very least, she's had people to love her all her life."

"And that's what makes all the difference," said Bessy. "I can't even imagine how much better a life you would have had with William and Giovanna coddling you all your life." She smiled.

"Elbert," I said. "You've been talking to him a lot?"

"Yes, I have," said the cook. "What a marvelous man! You know, before he joined the rebellion, he wanted to open his house to a sweet little orphan girl who'd lost hers, but it was burned before he could?"

"No, I didn't," I said, smiling. There'd been a lot of talk about Elbert recently from Bessy.

The old wooden door creaked open, and Geraint popped in. "Well, I went off to pack my things and Nicole said Collum had told her to pack them for me," he said, laughing. "since I was supposed to stay with you and it wasn't proper for you to come into the barracks, of course. What do you know! So I'll just join you here."

He sat down on the huge bag of flour in the corner.

"What time are we leaving in the morning?" I asked.

"Nine o'clock," answered Geraint.