Apocalypse | L.S [Completed]

XXXVII

Louis doesn't tell Harry. He tried, a couple of times, but he couldn't.

His first attempt was two days after the day Stephanie revealed the truth. His heart had almost exploded with anxiety and the fear of how the green-eyed boy might react, but once he saw the curly-haired boy walk into his house in a large mauve Mickey Mouse sweatshirt with his gorgeous smile, unruly chocolate curls and wide open arms for Louis, Louis instantly melted into a puddle of adoration. The night ended with Harry bent over Louis' study desk while Louis pounded into him from behind. Louis didn't mean to, it just happened. Who was he to deny Harry's alluring pouty lips?

His second attempt was when the sun peeked the next day. The couple had decided to take a quick stroll in the park instead of eating during the lunch break since the winter sun was being unusually generous. They walked hand-in-hand as the rare Sun-warmth greeted them instead of mid-December chills, Louis never taking his eyes off of Harry, memorising the boy before he comes clean. It was going fairly well, both still fully clothed and mouths not devouring each other. It was. Just as Louis had found them a secluded bench, away from the buzz of the common folk and veiled by tall pines, and was about to sit down, Harry had let out a gleeful exclaim, green eyes lighting up in excitement as he pointed towards a candy floss stand. Well fuck.

He tried again the following evening when Harry was snuggled into him, a big fluffy blanket laid over them while they breathed in each other in a comfortable silence, the heater balancing the rooms temperature to perfection. The moon had beamed through Harry's windows, adding to the beauty of Harry's dimmed room. "Harry," louis had called out after a sharp, nervous intake of air. Harry looked up from where he was resting his cheek against Louis' chest to face the man properly and stared straight into Louis' blues without a care. He did not answer Louis back, simply eyed his boyfriend with lost greens before splitting his face with a dear smile, gorgeous dimples gracing his face under the slight moonshine. "I love you," he said in a lost whisper, both their eyes joined together still and Harry's finger carefully tracing Louis like a priceless sculpture. No more words exchanged.

Louis couldn't do it. Call him weak or selfish, he could not do it with the boy he loves looking at him with such zeal. Maybe he was both; weak and selfish. He was selfish because he did not want to risk the devotion and love they have for one another, even if that means keeping harry in the dark about his true self. Weak because he does not have the courage to face Harry's reception on the truth, the entire truth, his and Louis' truth. He knows he's drowned too deep in Harry but he doesn't want to swim back up, he wants to keep on drowning, surrender himself to the feeling that is Harry Styles.

Currently Louis is with Harry, pushing a shopping cart boringly while Harry fills it with the items he needs and a few extra candies. 'A few'. Harry had insisted that they go shopping for Christmas and Louis' birthday by themselves despite Louis suggesting that he will send someone to do it for them (most probably Daniel). But, Harry is adamant on celebrating both Christmas and Louis' birthday without anyone's aid. He wants a normal holidays for the both of them (and Niall).

"Louuu," Harry whines, disturbing Louis' floor tiles count. "Yes, Bonbons?" Louis asks. He stands straighter, moving towards Harry and pulling him closer, hands over Harry's bum. "Lou," he whines again, pouting a little while his fingers fumble with Louis' charcoal turtleneck, "I don't like when you call me that," he complains but blushes when Louis pecks his forehead and squeezes his left cheek.

"You don't like 'Bonbons'?" Louis asks rhetorically, "too bad that you are my sweets, mon amour," he says, sticking out his lower lip and mocking the pouty boy in his arms. "I don't call you 'Whiskey' or 'Ciggy' or whatever it is that you enjoy having," Harry reasons with luring greens, pecking Louis' lips, "so, why do you just have to bring out my sweet obsession?" Harry asks, letting go of Louis and grabbing his next item on the list, Louis following behind while pushing the almost full cart.