the game | stiles stilinski²

CHAPTER XXXII - EVERYTHING I WANTED

'Through sickness and through health.'

I had never really understood how people got over grief, how people stopped feeling the pain that becomes a part of you and how they moved on. After my parents died, I was wallowed by darkness, the light that was once inside me dimmed into a mere flicker and I felt like I would never move on. That was until I did, I would never forget them, they were a part of me but still I leaned to live without them here. Even though it was hard.

It was strange, all that pain inside of me yet I felt so numb but now I felt everything. I felt what other people did and I felt overwhelmed. Nothing was the same anymore and I couldn't decide whether it was for better or worse. The story of equilibrium, the one my parents told me had never left my mind and I couldn't help but feel this was the storm after the calm.

Something was wrong, like we no longer were in control of our own bodies but I found myself enjoying the feeling. It almost made me feel powerful, like I could do anything and each day I felt it growing. It was like a parasite, constantly growing in my head and won't leave but the thing is, I don't want it to. It was nice to feel care free, to forget all the pain and all the tears I shed but I couldn't help but think about all the pain I could cause all because I wanted power. People always say power gets to your head, that it makes people crazy and I was starting to believe them, I was loosing my mind and it was all because of a glimpse of power.

The sun had began to rise rather quickly, the day having set over the town as we slept and the hospital room was quick to light up as the sky did. It had been one of the longest sleeps I had in a while, no nightmares and screaming that jolted me awake, it was rather peaceful. The man with the orange eyes had seemingly disappeared and for the first time in a long time, I felt free.

It was hard being weighed down, the nightmares were controlling me and it became rather exhausting. I was a supernatural creature, one that couldn't die but sometimes, things felt worse than death. Sometimes the worst pain wasn't when you felt it physically, but when it was in your head.

Soft snores came from the boy beside me, I watched how peaceful he looked as he slept and I felt a small smile cross my face as I did. I saw how his eyes no longer sported the dark bags and how his hands no longer shook, one gripped tightly in mine. I began to move rather slowly, not wanting to disturb him and as I pulled from his body, standing onto my own feet, he still laid asleep.

My head tilted to the side, confusion crossing my face as I caught the pillow that laid under his head, the blue coloured cover over it and the scent of the two of us on it. It was no secret that the boy couldn't sleep without his pillow, it went everywhere he did but the thing was, it wasn't there when we fell asleep. The thought quickly shook from my head, the sound of my stomach beginning to rumble filling my ears.