Ever Arnolds; how my life got completely flipped upside down.

Conflicted

"Okay so this weeks theme is the Beatles," Adam told me. Because of his connections with the radio station he was able to tell me the themes and rules before the radio station informed us. It had already been three weeks and I was still in. Only seven more to go.

Callan and I hadn't really been on any more dates. Like small little dates at each others house, but never really outside of the house.

Bay had come home a week earlier and she was a lot different. She was, happier, and wasn't wearing as much dark stuff. And she wore her dark brown hair up in a pony tail and curls a lot more than she used to.

I wonder what they did to her in that rehab center.

"You know, Ever," Sara said, "you and Callan are going to have to stop playing house soon and go on a real date."

"We did!"

"Okay," Adam said, "a double date and trip to hospital and sisters grave do not count as a date." I rolled my eyes.

"I'm sorry that my dates don't live up to your standards. I mean I wouldn't consider constant makeout sessions in Sara's room dates either."

"We do other stuff," Sara complained. I laughed.

"What do you think of Yesterday?" I asked Adam. He looked at me confused, "by the Beatles. I saw a version done by Leah Michelle recently that I love. Maybe that'll work?"

"Brilliant. Tone it down a lot. It's a gorgeous song," he said. I smiled and walked into my room. I grabbed my guitar and started on the picking pattern. I would learn the lyrics later. Although, I knew the majority of them. I laid back on my bed and continued picking until my fingers were sore.

"Hey," I heard Callan yell from across the way. I smiled and sat up.

"Hi," I replied.

"Wanna hang out?" He asked.

"Sure!"

"We never finished the fault in our stars wanna finish that?"

"Sure. I'll be right over!" I said walking for my door.

"Ever!"

"Yeah?"

"Climb through the window!"

"No!"

"Ever just do it. I'll help you." I walked back towards my window.

"Callan I would rather not die."

"Ever do you trust me?" Not really.

"Yes," I lied.

"Then come on. It's like three feet."

"Fine." I climbed up and kicked one foot up and pushed myself across into his room. He caught me on the other side.

I had never been in his room. I had seen what I could from my own, but I didn't really expect this.

Yeah, his bed wasn't made as I usually saw, but the rest of his room was SPOTLESS. There was an electric keyboard up against the wall and a TV mounted on the wall. He had a dresser with just one drawer open and it happened to be his shirts, which were folded nicely.

"Having fun examining my bedroom, love?" He asked. I laughed.

"Honestly, I didn't expect this."

"What did you expect?"

"Well I mean, usually I only see your bed and it's not made so messy?" He laughed.

"Yes I suppose it does give the illusion of a messy room. I just never feel like making it," he said.

"Then let's make it," I said. He laughed.

"Okay then," he said. I went on one side of the bed and he took the other and we smoothed down the comforter and put the pillows in the right spot. I closed his shirt drawer.

"Spotless," I said giving jazz hands. He chuckled.

"Movie time then?" I nodded. He sat on his bed and turned on his tv. I stood there and stared at him. I wasn't getting in a bed with a boy.

"Come on, Ever. That's immature. To think that you think that I would try something? I might not seem like it, but I do care and I'm not going to do something that will push you away," he said staring at me.

"Ugh fine," I sat next to him.

We finished up the movie fairly quickly which just sorta led to kissing.

A lot of kissing.

More kissing than I had ever done in my life.

We had probably been kissing for like twenty minutes when I felt his hand going up my shirt. I flinched thinking it would make him stop but it didn't. I pushed his hand away and pulled my mouth away.

"Callan stop," I said. He sat up and sorta turned away from me. I turned away from him. The day had gone from being okay to really upsetting.

"Can we just be honest for a moment?" He asked.

"Of course," I responded.

"Why are we even dating if we can't feel secure enough to, well I don't know, explore in private places like this. I mean do you not trust me, do you not like me. I mean I don't know if it's worth me holding off on sex if you aren't even going to consider anything. I mean I am trying to be a good boyfriend and wait until you're ready, but how long am I supposed to wait. I mean, most girls would have done me the first night," he said.

"Okay, Callan?" I sat up, "I'm not one of 'those' girls. Those whores you used to be with, I'm not them. If you want someone who is so slutty that they will have sex with you the first night you're together, then go be with one of those girls. I am not ready, nor will I be until I know that there is a future with you and I." I stood up and stood by the window. Callan wouldn't look at me. I felt a tear run down my cheek as I climbed back into my room.

Time to start rehearsing again. It got dark when Callan's light went off. Then it was even later, like one in the morning later, when it turned back on again and I saw his silhouette changing. Then his light turned off.

Why was he back so late?

I didn't sleep at all that night.