Ever Arnolds; how my life got completely flipped upside down.

A thousand roses

Beatles week had been a breeze. I had made it through that week as well as the next two.

Only five more weeks to go. This week was that we had to sing about how we feel currently.

Honestly, it would be great to say that I don't really know how I feel.

It would make the pain go away.

But I know exactly how I feel.

I feel crushed. You go through life looking at other situations thinking "that could never happen to me" but then it does. And it feels like everything around you is crashing in on you.

I had considered moving back to Sydney so then I wouldn't have to ever see Callan again. But I can't let something silly like my boyfriend cheating on me change how I want to go about in life.

I was online looking through songs on the Internet about how they were crushed and in a dark space. A lot of them were heavy metal though. I mean I guess I could do some Taylor swift song, I love her music, but I feel like they don't actually capture exactly how I feel right now.

Nothing can.

"My heart will go on," someone said in my door. I thought it was Callan for a minute and through to might scream so I spun around and was staring at Adam in my doorway.

"What?"

"This weeks theme. Beautiful song. You could probably pull it off."

"Celine Dion? Hell no, I couldn't pull that off. Plus, even though the title implies otherwise, It still says that I love you, and I don't love Callan."

"Ever I know it still hurts what he did, I mean he was terrible to do that, but we all saw how you two were together. You were definitely in love. Whether or not you two wish to act on that, I don't know. But I do think that that song captures what you feel. And I mean veto it if you want, but I think this song will keep you in for a couple more rounds," he said. I nodded.

"Fine. But if he takes that song seriously, I need you to shoot it down. I can't be involved with him."

"Fair enough. I'm driving Sara to school, you want a ride?" I nodded. I grabbed my purse and followed him out to his car. I saw Callan getting on his bike in front of their house. He caught my eye for a minute before I sat down in the car and hugged my knees.

"You okay, Ever?" Sara asked, "you can stay home if you want."

"No, I missed enough school already. Thanks though," we drove to school and I walked to my first lecture. Callan walked in behind me. I stared at him as he went and sat down alone in the corner opposite from my lonely corner. He stared at me the whole class period.

After class he stopped me in the hall. The same hall that he had stopped me in to get me to pay him for the pen I broke. I felt my eyes stinging.

"Ever just let me explain."

"No, Callan."

"Five minutes."

"Maybe some other time, I have class and I don't prioritize cheaters over good grades." I turned and walked off.

He didn't show up to the rest of my classes. Adam and Sara drove me home again. I walked up to my room immediately to work on my song.

What I found made me scream bloody murder. Soon all my roommates were in my room.

"Holy shit," Bay said touching one of the roses with her fingertip, "why would he do this?" I shook my head. I don't know why. All I know is that that jackass blew off all of his classes and redecorated my room with roses. There were roses hanging from the ceiling and on the walls and in vases on every table that I owned. It was like he had put one thousand blood red roses in my room as a romantic gesture.

Well I still wasn't over what he did. I got up on my bed and started taking down the roses. Soon everyone was helping me pull down the thorn ridden flowers.

What I don't get about roses and why couples give them to each other is why? I mean the flowers are covered in thorns. Isn't that like saying I hope my romantic gesture makes you bleed?

I don't know maybe it's just me.

It took us almost twenty minutes but we did manage to get all five hundred and thirty six roses down and out of my room. Yes we did count them.

Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

The words haunted me. It was a beautiful song and if I could do it right, then I could probably win, but it was so hard to make the words come out of my mouth when all I could think about was Callan.

The next day at school Reagan still had a ghost of a bruise from where I hit her and was still laughing about it with her friends.

Callan tried to stop me at least five more times that day. I wouldn't have it.

When I got home he was sitting on my porch. I tried to walk in but Maura shook her head.

"You have to talk to him. Whether what he did was right or not, you owe it to him to listen."

"I hate you," I told her as I turned around.

"You have four minutes," I said. He just stared at me.

"Why did you go and change the way you look?"

"I couldn't look at the old me and not see how I was with you. Three minutes and thirty seconds by the way."

"Ever I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Well you did. You don't cheat without the intention of harming someone."

"Look, after what happened that day, you had REALLY pissed me off. I mean I understand why you were pissed but I just wanted to forget it, so I tried to drink it away. The more my roommates yelled, the more I drank. Eventually I got drunk and made some really bad decisions. I didn't mean to."

"Callan. You couldn't respect what I wanted and acted on it. If it was too hard for you I don't want to hurt you. Just, I don't know, just don't try to get me back Callan. Not for a while," I turned to wake back inside. I was halfway through the door when he said:

"I won't stop trying to get you back Ever. I will try until I die. I will never stop."

"Stop," I said. I finished my way into the house and slammed the door. Once it was closed I collapsed against it and fell to the floor in sobs.

I figured if Maura came I would scream at her for making me talk to him, and I guess she figured that as well, which was why I was thankful when it was Kira and Bay that came to my rescue.

"Oh my god what happened?" Kira asked.

"M-Maura made me t-talk to Callan. I told him to stop and he said he wouldn't until the day he died."

"Why is that a bad thing, Ever," Bay asked.

"Because, I-I think i may have loved him."

"Then why not give him a second chance, Ever."

"Because, even if it's love, I can't trust him. And I can't be with someone I don't trust."

"I see," Kira said.

"I don't know what I will do about this," I cried.

"I don't think you can do anything except ignore him."