Kwared leaned over, crouching his face into his hands as he let his tears fall silently. His shoulders shook as he tried to stay calm, his tail puffing up as his ears pressed back. His chest was tight and he felt sick still, a chill running through him as the chemical cleared his system. His high was dropping and he needed more, he didn't want to be crying.
Phandrin felt tears fill his own eyes as he listened from his kitchen, clenching his grip around the cup. He guessed the boy's withdrawal would kick in immediately as he walked back, handing him the water.
Kwared was about to stand up, Phandrin pushing his shoulder down, handing him the water. Kwared made attempt to resist for a moment, his eyes and face red. He cringed at the scattered scars all over Kwareds body, the amount worst up close. The boy wore none of his usual bandages, Phandrins stomach dropping at the number of scars being why he wore them.
"I know you want to go, probably to get more, but we need to talk and I just cleaned your system. The drugs won't do anything," Phandrin sighed, blinking tightly as Kwared stared off into space
"Talk quick- I need to go please-," Kwared said, his leg bouncing as Phandrin sighed rubbing his face. He almost regrets doing this now, Kwared was so high and now he was manic from withdrawal. He didn't know what to do, and he was tired and sick.
He decided he would just try. If he got Kwared calm enough, he could forget the feeling of the withdrawal and listen. Kwared wouldn't be levelheaded after this, let alone listen.
"I already apologized but I'm apologizing again-," Phandrin started, Kwared glancing at him as he tried to ignore the heat building up under his collar. He wanted to listen, he wanted to hear the boy's excuse, but he was crawling under his skin. he needed more.
"Uhm... I have... diagnosed anger issues, and I guess it's not an excuse, but-," Phandrins breathing shook as he stared down at his carpets.
"What Metis did ticked me off and- and then everyone was glaring at me, your reputation affecting mine WHICH- which doesn't bother me, I don't care about it, I miss you so much I-," Phandrin inhaled sharply, clenching his eyes shut as he paused.
"It ticked me off, the glaring, I got anxious, I tried to find any way to release my anger, and I tried to find someone to blame. You were trying to help me, I knew you were, and I was so proud after I came to my sense," Phandrin rambled as he connected eyes with Kwared. He regret immediately it as his throat closed up, a sob escaping as he dropped his head again.
Kwareds mouth gaped as he watched, rarely having seen the boy cry this hard. His tail moved hesitantly behind him, his hands hovering, trying to decide if he should touch the boy. He wanted to help, Phandrin never sounding this sad out of desperity.
"I-I didn't mean anything I said- I was angry and I really hate it, I didn't know why I got mad at you. You don't cause any of the issues, You warned me. you warned me, I understood, I listened. I didn't... I didn't listen, and I took it out on you because Metis was shitty," Phandrin began to ramble as Kwared leaned forward. he was hesitant, recalling what happened the last time he tried to help.
"I would never want to be friends with Metis, I would never want to be friends with someone who purposefully hurt you, Kwared she got you sent to that fucking hellhole I-," Phandrins sobs kept cutting him off, his hands moving in exasperated movements. He spared eye contact with Kwared every few seconds, his tears flowing faster each time as Kwared stopped shaking, his withdrawal reminders long gone as he tried to focus on Phandrin.
"You made my life so much better, You made me so happy and you finally let me be myself around someone, a-and seeing you get better made me feel so good- I loved seeing you start to smile when I showed up and n-now you just avoid me and you won't leave your dorm and you won't come to class and y-you're hurting yourself-," Phandrin finally began to slow down, Kwared leaning down on his knees, pushing Phandrins hands away from gripping his hair, setting his on the boys face. Phandrin gripped his wrists, his thumbs running over the lines on Kwareds inner wrists carefully.
