Saiyan stared at the interaction, stepping back a bit as Kwareds grip on Phandrins wrist tightened.
He'd never seen either of them like this- Phandrin was always so calm and caring, and Kwared was always so confident and cocky. It was strange, and despite not being too close to either of them, it upset him.
Phandrins angry gaze shifted a bit, staring down at Kwared who wouldn't make eye contact. Kwared stared under Phandrins eyes, maybe his neck, doing everything to avoid it while Phandrin held him in place.
"Saiyan.. you can go, I'll come talk to you later," Phandrin muttered, only glancing as Kwared faltered, Saiyan nodding slowly and rushing out.
Phandrin turned back to Kwared, his angry expression softening at the tears rolling down Kwareds face. He felt bad, he didn't mean to yell and come off as angry, but this was all so infuriating.
"I'm sorry for yelling love," Phandrin muttered, moving his other hand up to wipe away the excess tears. Kwareds didn't move tilting his head back down and staying quiet.
Phandrins stomach dropped, Kwareds grip on his wrist falling back to his lap.
"Lyphin you really need to understand, I care about you so much- I wouldn't do anything like those other lowlives," Phandrin paused, Kwareds head tilting down further. Phandrin shifted, using his hands to push Kwareds hair back.
"I care, so it really hurts me to see this, to have you run out on me.. I know it can be overwhelming but I want you to know you have me around, especially when it gets this bad," Phandrin continued, Kwareds shoulders tensing slightly.
"I didn't intend to upset you," Kwared muttered, picking at his nails, the ends almost piercing his skin.
"I know, and I don't blame you at all. But really, seeing you covered in blood a-and me not being able to do anything... I really just want you to be alright, and I want to make everything better..." Phandrin paused. Kwared glanced up slightly, his eyes moving up again as Phandrin blinked away tears.
"I'm sure you do too, and I know you think that you aren't aiding, but you help me alot Lyphin, and we need to work together to make this all better, even if it's just a bit at a time," Phandrin nodded, brushing away new tears from Kwareds face.
Kwareds crying now wasn't from earlier, but he had never heard anything like what Phandrin told him, and the overwhelming feeling was back. He wanted to leave again so bad, his hands itching as he tensed. He tried to think about everything Phandrin said, glancing up at him now.
Phandrin smiled warmly, the redness in his eyes making Kwared cringe. He hated seeing Phandrin cry, it made him want to hug the boy forever.
Kwared paused, holding that thought as he came to a small realization. This was how he guessed Phandrin felt, or if it was how the boy explained it. That disgusting dread when he saw Phandrin upset like this, the hands on his face trembling slightly.
"There, see? I want you to see me as someone you can rely on and go to when you're upset. Anything but what you view me as now, I don't want you to think I, or anyone for that matter, is better than you," Phandrin nodded, Kwared setting a hand on Phandrins.
"I know just me saying it won't make you think it, but you really are amazing," Phandrin finished, the sad smile making Kwareds grip tighten, moving up Phandrins arm hesitating.
Phandrin stayed quiet after that, Kwareds movements obviously hesitant as Phandrin waited, watching his expression. Kwared could feel him staring, Kwareds eyes staying on his own hand that stopped at Phandrins collar.
Kwared leaned up, wrapping his other arm around Phandrins neck, Phandrin surprised at the sudden movement. He froze for a second, Kwared pulling him down into a hug, his hands wrapping around Kwareds torso.
He felt Kwared grip his sweater, the boys grip tight, Phandrin hearing almost inaudible cries. He knew what Saiyan was thinking, seeing Kwared like this. It always surprised Phandrin, to see someone like Kwared break down and turn into a broken mess like this.
"I want my happy pills back-" Kwareds sentence came out broken, the cries cutting his voice up as Phandrin tightened the hug suddenly, pulling Kwared against him fully.
"No. no you just want that stability back, the idea of the stability. You don't need them, and you won't use them," Phandrin said sternly but still coming off with a soft tone, Kwared nodding slowly into the dip between his neck and shoulder.
"Let's go somewhere once we've cleaned up, alright? Both of us should calm down, and I have a good idea," Phandrin hushed, running a hand down Kwareds wings carefully. Kwared nodded again, tightening his grip. Phandrin watched the colors in Kwareds wings shift, the red growing in volume as moments passed.
Phandrin felt Kwareds tail wrap around him, the weight comforting as he was pulled down, Phandrin still worried about the cuts around Kwareds mouth and throat. They didn't look too deep, and Phandrin managed to stop the bleeding, but the wounds would probably get alot more painful later, and Kwared didn't exactly have alot of care for his own health.
Phandrins jaw clenched as Kwareds crying got more raw, his grip on Phandrin obviously desperate as Phandrin continued his calm movement. Kwared wanted to apologise for making Phandrin upset, and he couldn't believe hugging the boy would make it this much better. He felt like the longer he hugged Phandrin, the more of his horrid memory and thought would just go away, easy
It wasn't like this before, he never hugged Phandrin like this from his memory. It felt so much more important, and with how close he almost just got.. it meant everything.
"...What do we tell Saiyan," Kwared mumbled, his breath slowing as he kept his position. Phandrin shifted only to better hold. Kwared hated how his voice came off right now, the stupid vulnerability making him sick.
"I'll talk to him. I don't want you stressed right now, you don't have to worry," Phandrin hummed, petting Kwareds head for a moment before pulling away. Kwared knew Phandrin was being sincere, and the sick feeling did begin to fade. He began realizing that he didn't mind, but only when it was with Phandrin. He didn't mind being touched or talked to, like he would anyone else, and it was so confusing to him.
"Let's clean up for now, I want to take you somewhere fun, alright?"
