Phandrin panted slightly, out of breath from running as he pressed the elevator button. Saiyan worried the boy would break it with his quickly he was pressing it, the doors opening. Phandrin practically threw Saiyan into the small space, shutting the doors quickly and clicking Kwareds floor.
"I'm sure he's okay, Phandrin," Saiyan tried to reassure, Phandrins stomach dropping slightly. He had a gross feeling in his stomach, his hands tightening in his pockets. He didn't mean to ignore Saiyan, leaving him with a small forced nod as he practically pried the doors open.
Saiyan followed after him quickly, Phandrin skidding to a stop at Kwareds door. He grasped the handle, shaking it lightly to test it, the door locked.
He pulled out Kwareds key, the one Ace had given him months ago. Months ago when Kwared wouldn't even look in his direction.
He pulled the door open quickly, begging mentally that Kwared would be inside and alright.
His face paled at the scent of blood, not alot, but enough. Saiyan smelled it too, gagging as he stepped back away from the door.
Phandrin scanned the room quickly before hearing a shift in the bedroom, moving to the space quickly.
Saiyan followed watching Phandrin move hastily, keeping an eye out. He spotted the small trail of blood, worry setting in his own stomach.
Phandrins grip on the door frame as he hopped over the knocked over cabinet made the wood creak in protest, Saiyan moving to jump, hovering over it.
Kwared set on the floor, back pressed against the wall on the opposite side of the bed. Saiyan watched Phandrin move to him quickly, panic in his movements.
He didn't see the blood coming from Kwareds arms, the boys head down, his hair covering his face. Phandrin felt his chest tighten, grasping Kwareds arm carefully, relieved at the scars, no new lines formed.
His panic continued though, setting his hands on Kwareds face and tilting his head up.
Saiyan heard a low gurgle, rushing over to help, grabbing Kwareds arm and tugging him up. He jumped when Kwared gagged, a retch of blood falling from his mouth.
"..oh my god-," Saiyan exhaled, Phandrin sitting Kwared down on the bedside quickly as Kwared shoved Saiyans grip away. They knew he was conscious now, Phandrins panicked glance examining his face, trying to find the source of the blood.
"Kwared what did you do-" he barked, frustrated tears filling his eyes as his grip on Kwared tightened slightly. His jaw clenched when Kwareds head lilled to the side slightly, his eyes lidded and unfocused.
"You c-cant keep doing this I-" Phandrin started, shutting his mouth quickly as he guided Kwared to face him again, blood pouring down his face and jaw.
"-I talk too much-,", Kwareds words were weepy, slurred, and stuttered, blood spilling as Phandrin noticed the gouges around his mouth, lines coming close but never actually touching his mouth. He didn't notice the blade on the floor, blood seeping into the sheets beneath Kwared.
"No no love, you don't, you need to talk more if anything" Phandrin wailed, Kwared blinking slowly. He couldn't focus, his eyes cutting through Phandrin at this point. Phandrin made best attempts to wipe away the blood that spilled, trying to find the wound sources. Saiyan ran to the washroom, coming back quickly with cloths and paper towel. Kwareds eyes moved to him slowly, his eyes wide as Phandrin snatched the cloth, starting to wipe around the slices.
"I wanted to be like you..." Kwared muttered, Saiyan barely hearing it as his eyes widened, a look of confusion filling him. Kwareds voice cracked, a sharp inhale as tears filled his eyes.
"What-"
"... I.. did everything, I said everything," he spat, Phandrin setting his hand on Kwareds face again, turning him so that he could reach the other cuts.
"Do you think I wanted you to be scared of me..?" Kwared wailed, clenching his eyes shut as he shoved Phandrin off of him, crouching his face into his hands. He felt the sweat and dried blood on his hands sting the cuts as Saiyan froze glancing between Phandrin who stabled himself, and Kwared who's tone grew louder.
"You can barely look at me!" Kwared spat, his words choppy from the cuts, the pain making it harder and harder to speak. He was right, Saiyan barely being able to look Kwared in the eye. Nobody could. He was a murderer.
"I wanted you to like me... You're so lovely.. everybody loves you," Kwareds tone quieted, blinking away more tears as he gripped the sheets below him. Phandrin had stopped the bleeding at least, respecting Kwared having pushed him back.
"I used everything I had. A-and now I finally have a friend and I'm ruining it-" Kwared started, Saiyan feeling a stabbing feeling in his stomach, guilt rising.
"Kwared you aren't ruining anything," Phandrin moved to set a hand on Kwareds again. Kwared pulled away, gripping his hand in his opposing.
"I look up to you, I'm never going to be as perfect as you.. nobodies ever gonna come to me for help, nobody's ever gonna know how hard I tried," Kwared barked, pausing.
"Nobody ever says good morning, Nobody ever says congratulations, nobody ever waves to me in the hallway, they always split away.. I-.. I watch everyone else get along with their friends... and soulmates-...their soulmates.." Kwareds hands came up, wrapping around his torso again, his gaze falling to Phandrin again.
"I c-cant even look you in the eye Phandrin!" Kwareds sobbing cut his own already slurred voice off, Phandrin still hesitating to help again. Phandrins frustrated tears continued, he own hands clenching tightly
"You're so much better than me.." Kwared finished, his ears pressing down. Phandrins throat tightened, trying to calm down, Saiyan pausing.
"Kwared.. you went through alot.. it's not your fault for other people's actions..," he tried to assure. He wasn't completely aware of the situation, but he does remember rumors about Kwared being tossed around. Saiyan jumped slightly when Phandrins voice boomed, his tone much louder than he'd ever heard.
"Quit fucking spitting Kwared," Phandrin barked, his fists clenching as he leaned down, forcing Kwareds low gaze to face him.
"You know full well that those people are shitty. You don't need them, you don't need their validation and they don't need anything," Phandrin hissed, Kwared staying quiet as he stared at the carpet.
"I know b-"
"There's no buts in this situation, Lyphin. Nobody is better than anyone, and if anything you deserve all of the praise for everything you have done," Phandrin said sternly, not wanting to hear any more of Kwareds explanation.
"I haven't done anything," Kwared hollowed, his tone airy as Saiyan leaned down, careful as he set one of the bandages he'd found on Kwareds jaw. Kwared didn't move, staring down at the carpet still as Phandrin glared, frustrated. He wasn't mad at Kwared, not at all, but all the shit that led up to this made him angry. He didn't even want to make glances to some of the other students anymore, wondering why he even snapped at Kwared for ruining his good reputation. He didn't want a good reputation with such shitty people.
He couldn't believe he'd almost thrown their relationship out of the window, all because of his reputation.
"You have done absolutely everything, Lyphin. You've endured more than what almost every quadrant here could imagine. You took their shit and still tried to be generous, and I know full well that they don't even deserve a glance from you for how they treated you," Phandrin hissed, his tone growing quieter as he started realizing things. Kwared felt Phandrins stare like a burn, jumping slightly when Phandrin grabbed his jaw, carefully but with obvious intent that he wouldn't let Kwared move away.
"I'm so sick of hearing this shit. I'm so sick of people convincing you to think you are lowly, when the only reason you treat them as you do, is because they treated you that way first," Phandrin said. Kwareds hand went to Phandrins wrist quickly, Saiyan frowning slightly. He wanted to help, even if he didn't trust Kwared or know him for anything more than rumor. Nobody deserved to be tearing themselves apart to this degree.
"They're hypocritical, and they don't deserve any of my, or your sympathy,"
