She Moans Chresanto.

Heart of stone

Song for this chapter: jars of clay~ fall asleep.

Morgan pov

14 days.

It has been 14 whole days since Chresanto blew up. And every second hurts more than the last.

"He will forgive you." Joanna assured me.

I sat in the window of her bedroom staring out if it. How can I expect him to forgive me, when I can't even forgive myself?

"Do you want something to eat?" She asked me.

I ignored her as I focused my attention onto the tree, it was such a beautiful tree.

"Morgan your phone has been ringing all day." Joanna said pushing my phone towards me. My eyes sifted to the screen to see Dr. lane had left me several missed calls.

I began to check the emails.

'Ms Montgomery, we have received back your blood test, please come in so we can discuss them.'

I deleted that one and listened for the next.

''Ms Montgomery, seems that you have shut us out again, this is urgent please get to the clinic."

I deleted that one again and listened for the next.

'This is completely out of line, but I have no other choice but to share this news with you through voice mail. The cancer spread too bad, I'm sorry but it's too late."

The phone dropped from my ear as my body went numb.

There was my fate.

I was dying.

"Morgan what was it?" She questioned coming over picking up my phone. I watched as she listened to the last message.

"Oh my god." She choked out. "Oh my god." She repeated.

"You can't tell anyone." I said finally speaking.

"What?" She choked out. "You havent told Chresanto?" She asked me.

I tore my eyes away from her looking back out the window. Death can't nearly be as bad as this.

~*~
A knock on the door caused joanna to jump off the bed to open it. "Chresanto?" She breathed out causing My head to snap in that direction.

"Give us a moment please." He told her his eyes locking onto me.

"Yes of course." Joanna said wiping her face, from her previous tears.

When the room door closed Chresanto stared at me for a moment before he finally spoke.

"My crackhead mom showed up to my restaurant the other day." He blurted out. "She googled me and thought it was okay to just pop up." He chuckled. "I have to admit, I was kind of excited. I couldn't believe she actually wanted to be in my life." He smiled.

I kept my eyes glued to him as He talked but I couldn't seem get myself to open my mouth.

"But it all began to make sense when she asked me for money." He scoffed.

Causing my heart to break.

"When that happened I wanted nothing more than to see you, to hold you because you always seemed to make me feel better." He smiled. "Until I remember what you did." He added in causing my breath to hitch.

"These 14 days has been the worst days in my entire life." He stated. "I spent those days drinking, feeling sorry for myself. damn near slipping into depression." He admitted. "Until I looked down at this tattoo." He said extending is arm my way. "Our love is forever." He quoted.

My heart beat increased as I looked at the beautiful ink across is arm.

"Love conquers all." He told me. "I just need to know if our love was real." He said in a broken tone. "I have to be sure that I wasn't the only one feeling it."

The tears in my eyes threatened to drop as I stared at him. Of course my love for him was real, I have never loved anyone as much as I love Chresanto. I wanted to open my mouth to tell him that. But as I thought back to my test results I knew I couldn't.

"No." I choked out.

His eyes looked up locking back onto mine. "What?" He asked for clarification.

"I never loved you." The words slipped from my mouth so foreign.

"That's not true." He said shaking his head.

I had to break his heart. Crush him completely. so when I do die, it won't affect him.

I used everything in me to fight back my tears as I looked at him.

"Chresanto, I may have had love for you, but I was never in love with you." I said using Trevor's words from before.

"I was inlove with the lifestyle you gave me." I lied. "The only reason I stuck around so long is because I felt like I owed you." As I spoke I couldn't even recognize the deceiving voice that came from my mouth.

Once I saw the look in his eyes I knew I did it. I broke him.

He stood up from the bed letting out a croaked chuckle. "I should have known better than to think that I was capable of anyone's love." He scoffed."if my own parents couldn't love me how could I expect you too?" He continued. "I hardly love myself." He admitted as he headed for the door.

As I listened for his footsteps I leaned my head against the window allowing myself to come undone.

The fact that I let him leave out of here with that thought in his head tore my hear out.

Of course he was capable to be loved. I loved everything about him, even his imperfections which made him so perfect.

In reality I didn't give a shit about about what material things Chresanto could offer me. His love was always enough.

After all I did to him, he still came back for me. He wanted to forgive me.

The thought alone made my heart melt.

'True love conquers all.' He told me.

When I'm gone, everyone will understand why I did this... It was for the best.