I woke up today happy that it's my day off, however it's also Tigs day off so that means that he and I are going to be in this house alone with my kids. I guess at this point all I can do is hope that he doesn't make things worse, last night hurt me, I was ready to move on and he just stopped. He made me take ten steps back from all the progress I've made over the past two years, and that's a big set back. I sighed getting out of bed so I could get ready for the day knowing that my kids are going to be home around two. I got dressed pulling on a single sleeved shirt, one side was like a tank top, and the other was long sleeved and there was a cut in the shoulder. I slipped into a pair of open sided black leggings before parting my hair down the middle and putting each side into bubble braided buns. I decided to skip my make-up, it's my day off and there's no point to doing all of that for nothing.
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I went downstairs to the kitchen seeing Tig drinking a cup of coffee, I sighed, going over getting myself a cup. I leaned against the counter drinking my coffee, Tig set his cup down looking at me with a sad look on my face.
"Dina..."
"Don't Tig, just don't I was ready and willing last night, I was ready to move on, I was ready to be with you to give us a chance. You froze, you acted like you didn't want me and when I tried to get you to tell me what was wrong you didn't say a damn word. You want to know how I view that? I view that as you pushing me away, as you silently telling me that you don't want me. So you know what when you're ready you know where I am but until then just stay away from me, because now it's not you who's waiting, it's me."
I sighed, shaking my head looking outside to see Tara pull into the driveway, I sighed, setting down my cup before going outside. I smiled as Vi got out of the car running to me hugging me close before pulling away as I kissed her cheek.
"Did you have fun, baby?"
"Aye ma, we watched movies and I got te play with Abel."
"That's great Vi, will you take your brother inside to play with Tig for a bit? I need to talk to Tara."
She nodded her head.
"Alrigh' ma."
She kissed my cheek and I set her down watching her go over taking Fins hand leading him into the house.
"What's going on Dina?"
"Tig and I almost slept together last night."
She gave me a confused look.
"What do you mean almost? Almost doesn't sound like Tig, I've known him for a long time, he doesn't do almost. I've seen croweaters come out of his room not being able to walk straight, trust me almost isn't Tig's thing."
"Yeah I know, I've seen those croweaters, and as far as almost goes I mean we were in bed, one minute he's kissing me and we're fine but the next he just froze. When I asked him what was wrong, if he had changed his mind, if he didn't want to, if he was having second thoughts about me, he just shut down. He wouldn't answer me, so I went to my room, closed the door, put my hair up, I waited hoping he would come in but he never did. So I fell asleep alone again which I am really fucking tired of, when was the last time you slept alone for longer than a couple day?"
