If I Told You [Completed]

Meetup

Edited

The Meetup

TW forrrr self harm and suicide

Steph and the group had mutually decided to meet up today in New York. This would be the first time they met in real life, the first time she met Sawyer and Julia in person.

She walked up to the meetup spot, looking around. The neutral-colored buildings slowly blurring together, the air was filled with smoke that went around. She could hear the music and the conversations around her blurring together as she looks around. The leaves dancing around in the wind around her.

She looked for the others, turning around and walking around the area. She wasn't sure what Julia looked like, because she had never face revealed before.

She looked around, slowly conveying the area, finding the exits and the dead-ends. She felt a small tap on her left shoulder. Turning around, she saw Sawyer standing behind her, he had a huge smile on his face with his eyes crinkling slightly.

She froze in her spot for a moment. This isn't how it was supposed to be. I was supposed to meet Julia here and I'd leave. She never really wanted to meet Sawyer here.

But, alas, Sawyer stood in front of her, smiling. He looked so excited, his expression showed only happiness.

He must be excited to meet, Steph thought.

Steph wasn't so excited about this meetup. Well, she was, just not excited about meeting Sawyer.

She looked up at Sawyer, staring at his face, mesmerized. The same face that she had seen every day for the past 3 years.

"Uhm Steph?" He says nervously, breaking Steph out of her thoughts.

The sound of his voice scared her. The voice that had stayed in her mind for so long and the voice that kept her alive, the one that had comforted her when she was crying in the corner of an empty room.

She looked around and ran towards an exit that she had found earlier. It must've looked strange to everyone standing around them, but she couldn't stand there with Sawyer standing right in front of her.

She ran as fast as she could, pushing people out of the way. Just trying to get away from Sawyer.

She knew she couldn't even outrun Sawyer, as he was 6'3 and she was only a mere 5'4, but she could have at least made some kind of distance between them.

She could hear his shouts behind her calling her name with his loud footsteps following.

She wasn't very athletic; she ran out of breath quite quickly and she couldn't run fast either. Her body just was not in shape, but as she tried to run faster and faster, her breaths were getting shallow, and it started getting hard to breathe.

Steph stopped to catch her breath, knowing that Sawyer was right behind her. She wanted to keep running, to keep going, but her body told her no. She hasn't run this far in years.

She slowly fell to her knees with tears in her eyes. She shut her eyes to stop her from crying in the middle of the street with everybody's eyes on her.

She could feel Sawyer's presence behind her as he slowly walked towards her. His footsteps gradually got louder as he got closer to her. She felt him pat her back slowly, rubbing circles to calm her down.

"It's okay Steph." He says. His voice was heavenly, calming her down slowly.

Steph opened her eyes, slowly turning around and pulled Sawyer into a hug wordlessly. She nuzzled her nose in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent. He smelled of cologne, but it wasn't too strong. It was quite nice. She leaned into his shoulder, sniffling softly.

They stayed in that position for a few moments before Stephanie talks, her voice barely over a whisper.

"Sawyer...you don't like me, right?" She had to ask, she just had to. The question that she had been meaning to ask for the past 2 years because she realized a long time ago that he was the only one that she wanted.

Sawyer sighed. "Steph, I can't answer that. You know that." The same answer he gave every time she asked because he could leave at any given moment, abandoning her.

"But we're here. We're here. We're here and I can see you and touch you." She tries to reason with him.

"Steph, I still can't." He says, looking down. He didn't want to look into her eyes because if he did, he would have given in and told her the truth about it all.

She shoves him away harshly after he says that. He winced from the force of her push, stumbling back slightly. Sawyer was surprised but didn't fight back or run after her this time.

She runs again in the same direction, farther this time. She runs to her hotel, panting heavily as she tries to catch her breath.

Reaching her room, she fumbles with the keys, rushing to get into the hotel room.

She closes the door, but she doesn't lock the door. She knows exactly what she wants to do. She immediately walks towards the drawer, opening it to grab a knife.

Her knife...the special one that was stained with crimson from the past times.

She brought it up to her arm and it hovered there for a second. She cut once, then twice. The beautiful crimson lines that it created. She loved it, the physical pain covering all the emotional pain.

The blood that slowly dripped onto the plain white sheets. The way it looked, how it felt.

She stopped as she realized her arm was covered in blood and cuts all over. She walks over to the sink, slowly washing all the blood off her arm. The water ran red with her blood mixed in. She stopped as the water ran clear again.

Steph grabbed some bandages, the ones she had packed just for this specific reason, wrapping it slowly around her arm carefully.

She would have to remind herself to wear long sleeves, to conceal the cuts, to conceal them from the next time she saw Sawyer... 

yaahhhhh. first chapter. is it...good? idk. my friend says its good. but also he just says that. dear...stop fucking lying to me. lmao. no. okay. he wont see this for a while cuz he's playing chess rn. anywayyssss. yah! first chap. i wrote this a while ago. i'll upload the next one in like...2 days. ye. deal with this one lmao. okies. byeeee.

-Glove :D

editor me: this story is terrible. bye.