If I Told You [Completed]

Memories

edited

"Once someone's hurt you, it's harder to relax around them, harder to think of them as safe to love. But it doesn't stop you from wanting them."

The moment Stephanie left; Sawyer sat there staring at the ceiling. These past three years had certainly not been easy for him, he thought about Stephanie every single day. It truly was terrible. 

During the first year, he had started cutting himself. He did stop, realizing this wasn't how it should end. Realizing that he still had a life to live, and Stephanie would've scolded him if he even so much as thought about it.

He did try to commit suicide, and the knife he used that was stained with red was still there in his drawer. It had sat there for the past year and a half, collecting dust.

Memories flood through his brain as he remembers the incident from 3 years ago. 

He remembers yelling at Stephanie, his love, his best friend, his partner in crime.

He remembers how he left without a word...how he left her there with no explanation. There was no note, no text, nothing. He just got up, and left.

He left there with no intent on coming back, no intent to say "I love you" to Stephanie one last time. He never tried to reach out, he blocked all the contacts. He left all the social medias. No one would find him.

No one knew his address; they didn't know why he left. No reason to rely on. Of all the reasons that he had run away, this one would probably be the worst.

Stephanie had no one to rely on. No one to tell her problems to. She was hurting underneath the mask she wore to hide her emotions, the mask she had taken off for the years she spoke to Sawyer. The way she didn't have to hide her emotions and she told him everything. The way that Sawyer was easier to talk to than anybody that she had ever known.

Sawyer made her smile. He made her see she was worth it, made her see that life wasn't absolutely terrible. He gave her hope in the world.

Her insecurities slowly faded when she was with him, but now...it wasn't like that. The thoughts came flooding back.

It hurt to remember the day she woke up and he wasn't there. The day she woke up realizing he abandoned her. He broke a promise that day, the promise that he would always stick by her side.

She thought it was a dream at first, but the reality suck in. The reality that he would never come back.

It hurt for a while until she realized it wasn't worth crying over. If he left, he certainly didn't care about her enough to stay. He must not have cared enough then, his feelings probably never even measured close to the feelings Stephanie had for him.

She still never moved on; she hadn't had a love since then.

Both of them were hurting...

They had different ways of coping, but they were both hurting equally.

HAHAHAA DID I WRITE THIS WITH MY BOYFRIEND ON MY MIND. YAH OF COURSE. So if you don't know. He left discord the other day. He was my internet boyfriend on discord so of course...that means I don't see him anymore. He left and I have no idea when he'll come back. I left discord as well, I left every server I'm in. And I deleted discord because he was what I was staying there for. It does make me sad, but I know he must have had a reason. And so, with that on my mind, I wrote this chapter. I hope to finish this actually. And this might be the only story I actually finish. I feel bad but I might finish them one day. Im not sure.

edited me: he's back^ and he saw this :D. He had a girlfriend lmao.