I feel like I have no one at all. And to be upfront and fairly honest, I really don't. Like I know the ones that I can count on, but they are all having other people more important than the role I play in their lives.
And that is and will always be my fault. I'm the one that pushes away, I'm the one that went away. But I swear to god I love you still, without any doubts. I am the one that called it quits on us.
Me. I'm the problem with what happened to us.
Nothing I write, or even say to you matters anymore because I am a nobody to you, again.
The past two years, technically four because when we were dating, you never left my head but I'm sure that I am never in yours anymore, and that is my fault. I'm sorry I'm trying yo reconnect with you, because you have always been special to me. I'm sorry that I am clingy, I'm sorry that I still get upset when you don't want to hang out with me.
It's my fault.
I just wish you'd meet up with me in person sometime so I can explain more, but maybe you have given up on me, and you have every right to. I did leave without saying anything, but I just wish you'd give me another shot. I gave you more than I should've but I fucking love you. And you don't know how much I regret following my head and not my heart two years ago.
Everything in me wanted US besides my head because I was emotionally exhausted of the off and on with us. Even though I knew you would always be there for me when I needed you.
I'm not going to lie to you, I have been needing you, but it is my fault you are not here.
I'm trying so hard, but I am so fucking broken. When I am with you I feel so at ease its unbelievable and that's how it's always been with you and I'm the one that screwed everything we had up. I'm trying but I'm also so close to just giving up.
