Growing up was a girl, the girl was mostly alone.
Finally she became the only girl in her neighborhood, making her a tomboy growing up.
When school started she still remained the tomboy, and then middle school hit. Hormones were shifting in not only her but the children around her as well.
The girl ended up not being able to have a relationship as her friends were in- she was jealous, because she could never end up in a relationship nor end up trying to talk to the boys in her classes.
She ended up finding a boy online- which became her best friend at the time.
The boy and girl would always call, and somehow the girl caught feelings towards someone online.
High school hit- the two were talking- but never as much as before.
The girl signed up for a class- which meant a lot to her, where she watched people already sitting down because she was late on her first day. She left weird, like maybe she doesn't belong because of all the eyes that were on her. As a few days went by she had an eye on someone she'd went to school with before.
All she knew about this boy was, he could dislocated his shoulder, and his name, and he was pretty good looking to her, as she scanned the room before class ended she realized she was nothing. The most ugly in the class more than likely.
Finally at home the girl sent him a DM on instagram to see what the homework was- even though she knew, she wanted an excuse to talk to him. This boy and the girl ended up hanging out in groups with the girls friends, and the girl felt extreme happy.
Soon the boy she was talking would see how her home life was, and the girl was terrified for him to see that. They ended up dating, and the girl became so intertwine with the boy, she know believes it might've been a bit suffocating and she's sorry for that. But during their first month or two of dating, the boy wanted to call it quits- this didn't go well with the girls feelings- but if being her first person she'd have deep feelings for in person, she cried and cried. She even reached out the the boy- were she learned the boy was upset about some things and they ended up working it out and they were dating again. The girl didn't think the break up then back together was going to happen more and more. The girl started thinking it was just a game at one point, but still every time the break up happened, she was devastated feeling like she was going to not have the boy anymore.
Finally, the girl was fed up of feeling like the boy didn't care enough for her and she reached out to the online boy. The online boy had some pretty harsh things to say to the girl, and the girl was already so emotional she just let him cuss her out about blocking him and ignoring him without any explanation. After a few days the online boy and her started to re connect like old times, and the boy she had in her life she was still unsure of his feelings.
The girls grandpa told her that they could go to met this online boy, and the girl wanted to go see the boy and tell him what she was doing, she was unsure if the boy was going to be hostile, upset, silent. She was walking into some place she was blind folded in, but she was okay to. She wanted to talk to the boy, and she did. The boy kept telling her that she was going to fall in love with the online boy because he was the first love. The girl upset and crying kept trying to tell the boy that was not going to happen, the boy gave the girl a really big hug.
The girl was off to go meet the online boy, and she was excited, and sad but she hid her sadness away. Once arriving to meet the online boy, was was confronted with a very happy feeling inside, one that was stable. Although the online boy and girl only were together for two days, the girl ended up falling in love with the city the online boy lived in, she was memorized by how nice people were to the trucks, how many neat local restaurants are there.
Once arriving home the girl didn't talk to the boy, when she did she would get ignored for a while. They had to run security for a show, and the girl was on the phone when she arrived to her post, where she was confronted by the boy, the girl has many regrets about this day. This day she put up her wall so high she still believes no one can climb over. After the boy realized his words were having no affect, he did the same thing to the girl. It hurt the girl a lot, and the girl still feels bad to this day for doing what she did that night.
The girl ended up getting kicked out a few months after she turned 18, and she took a bin full of her things, and went on a 18 hour drive alone, to go to the online boy. Once the girl got there, she enjoyed seeing the city before actually going to the online boys apartment. She was content but also sad. After a few days she told herself she should go back, to find out her mom was also kicked out and her mom was going to fly to her.
She kept that to herself that she was wanting to go back home, and by the time she was ready and her mom was back home, she learned that even if she were to go back home, there would be nothing there for her, so she believed. Both of her schools had kicked her out.
The girl ended up getting a house in the online boys city. He moved in with her, sometimes she is upset by that and everything that they'd been thorough throwout this time. She had breakdowns and called the boy that was back home, still going into conversations blindfolded on how he was going to react to her.
Enough bad things have happened to the girl and the online boy, to where she doesn't feel as if he is the one. She feels under appreciated and her head just has not been in the best place, and the online boy never notices when she does things. When the girl would visit home she would always tell the boy and they usually would end up meeting at least one day when she was in town.
One night the girl ended up driving over to the boys house because he didn't want to talk to her, and when he kept telling her she had a boyfriend, she got really upset and kissed the boy. A lot has changed in this year, and the girl knows that she's not happy inside, nor content. She loves her animals, but she just is unsure of the online boy now. The online boy and the girl are currently on a break- the girl is free and the girl has hung out with the boy. The girl felt secure, something she had not felt in a long time, she was happy.
The girl has started doing tarot card readings, and she the last few she was doing. She believes the cards are telling her, it's going to be okay to leave, and come back to her hometown. Although she's still unsure on how to tell the online bot this, and how she's going to bring her animals and her stuff back down south. She knows it's all going to be okay at the very end. She hopes to have special people with her, but if she doesn't she knows that in the end that will be okay too.
