this is me writing to you, but I know you won't see this. But if you were to ever, I'm telling you everything, what I miss, I wish, and what I hope.
What I miss?
I miss being protected. But not just by anyone by you. You always made me feel extremely safe even if you were in a mood.
I miss hugging you constantly, your hugs always make me feel like I won the lottery.
I miss writing you letters, you are the only one I do that for, I mean im doing it now.
I miss being with you. Even if it was difficult sometimes.
I miss you telling me that you love me first
- however you did catch me off guard one day and that made me feel very loved.
weather that was true or not from you, I still believe it is true.
I miss always knowing I would have someone at the end of the day.
I miss us – all of it.
I miss being your person
I miss me being yours.
What I wish?
I wish I had never moved
I wish I could see what would've happened if I never left
I wish I wasn't so strong that day you were crying.
I wish you knew how much I love you
I wish you the best – always.
I wish what we planned in the past might still be in our cards.
I wish you could tell me one hundred percent if I was your person
I wish I could read your moods just a little bit better
I wish I didn't know the signs you give me when you're talking to another girl, it still bothers me, and it has no right to, but it does.
I wish I knew why, my feelings for you are still so vivid
I wish I knew why it's around you, I feel like I can write again
What I hope?
I hope that one day our cards play out
I hope that you're always going to be there for me, I know I am going to be for you
I hope you will be able to trust me one hundred and ten percent again
I hope I'm not screwing up our relationship by writing this and you stumble across it.
I hope I don't give in and tell you that I started writing again – because I know you'll want to hear it.
I hope wherever our future lies, we'll stay food friends at least
I hope you will one hundred percent count me as a friend
I hope you know your playlist is still my main playlist I listen to.
I hope you do end up reading this
I hope its not too late for this
j.e.t. I love you. And I cant stop thinking about us.
my trip my sister and I took to see our mother, I enjoyed every second we hung out with you, even if one day you didn't want to hang out too much. But I realized my feelings for you, never left, I think I just convinced myself they were.
who does that? What I did to you. Looking back on it I hate that I did that to you. I have no idea if you have forgiven me for that.
there are days I see something or hear something and I think of us and a memory.
do you remember, when I spent the night and it was like 2am and I wanted to go to Walmart to get some candies, you laughed and agreed. That is one of my favorite memories.
your smile alone makes me feel special in an instant. I still have a lot of our pictures – I just can't make myself get rid of them. I know we haven't dated in over 2 years, but I can't find it in my heart to. I'm just rambling at this point, but I haven't had the urge to write in months, and then this past week – i wanted to write to you. And I did, it was on a small blue sticky note that on the outside said "J" and on the inside said something along the lines of, "look at me writing to you lol, just want to tell you I'm proud of you, and you are special to me" its hard to tell when you believe that or not, but I truly mean it. Both of them. I do believe you are a soulmate. I'm attracted to you, more than anyone before. On this note, my plane is landing now, and all I'm saying to close this is,
I really do still love you j.e.t.
