butterflies // stenbrough

- Bill -

Bill looked out at the sea of campers in front of him. There were just over thirty. But they didn't really matter. The people that really mattered during this game were the counsellors spread out in front of him and Stan. They were going to win or lose the game for team.... unicorn puffs. The kids voted on it. It wasn't as badass as Bill would have liked but he could work with it.
    "L-L-L-Listen up unicorn puffs!" Bill shouted "Wuh-wuh-we are going to kill th-th-those camp 5-9 losers!"
The crowd erupted in shouts.
    "Okay this is our strategy" Stan whipped into leader mode and gave every counsellor assignments and told the kids exactly what the strategy was. Bill liked him in leader mode. There was something strangely attractive about a man with a plan.
I mean that could also be said about a woman with a plan. It's the leadership that's attractive, not the gender Bill rationalized in his mind.
"Ready?" The crowd responded to Stan by shouting louder than Bill had ever heard "Okay then let's go out there and kick some ass!"
Bill immediately sprung into action. There was no time for anything else. He didn't care if a kid got shot, capturing that flag was the priority right now. Bill hesitantly started walking into the woods. The sun had started to go down, illuminating an eerie orange glow onto the forest floor. He turned his head as he walked, looking for stray 5-9 campers or dangerous murderers out here to kill him.
Maybe don't think about that He tried to clear his mind of anything murdery, but the wandering alone in the woods wasn't exactly helping him think happy, non murdery thoughts. It was as if he was living in the moment before a jump scare in every bad horror movie.
    "Hey" a voice behind him whispered. Bill immediately started screaming. It wasn't one of his finer moments.
   "AHHHHH" He screamed before getting cut off by a hand over his mouth.
    "Shhhhh" Said the serial killer behind him. Bill had no idea what to do. He was petrified, this was exactly what happened in those Stephen King books he pretended to like.
Holy shit, what the fuck do I do? How do I get out of this? Because thinking about how to stop you from getting murdered is a better thing to do than you know, actually stopping yourself from getting murdered. Bill wasn't working with much logic here so he went for the simplest option, and he bit the hand of murderer.
    "Bill what the fuck?" A familiar voice said.
    "Stan?" Bill questioned.
    "Yeah it's me." Stan confirmed "Don't you remember that I'm supposed to put our flag in these woods?"
Bill felt embarrassed.
"Why'd you bite my hand?" Stan asked.
    "Yeah s-s-sorry about that, I th-thought you wuh-wuh-were a murderer." Bill said.
    "Why would a murderer be in these woods?" Stan asked.
    "I d-d-don't know. Guess I've just been r-r-reading too much Stephen K-King." Bill lied.
    "Okay well I've got to put our flag up on one of these trees." Stan walked a few feet then decided on a tree, Bill didn't know why that tree but Stan had a good strategy so he didn't question it.
    "I know I'm supposed to do this part but my hand is kind of unusable right now so could you maybe climb up the tree? I mean I think you kinda owe me." Stan teased.
    "I'll d-d-do it." Bill said "But I think I wuh-wuh-wuh-was justified. You c-c-could have been a m-m-murderer!"
    "I still could be" Stan joked(?).
    "Ha-Ha." Bill fake laughed before grabbing the flag and starting the climb up the tree. The bark was pretty rough on his hands, leaving like a million splinters. But at least it was easy to climb and Bill was at the top in the no time. He carefully placed the flag on the top branch before climbing down, getting a million more splinters along the way.
    "Done!" Bill said, triumphantly "And it o-o-only got me f-f-f-f-four hundred s-splinters!"
    "I have some band-aids." Stan suggested.
    "I th-th-think I'll be f-f-fine." Bill said.
    "No, sit down on the log and give me your hands." Stan said. Bill acquiesced and held out his splintered hands. Stan carefully traced Bill's hands with his fingers, he was only trying to find where to put the band-aids but it felt like more to Bill. Every touch sent butterflies flying into his body, erupting from his hands and settling into his stomach. The butterflies felt weird, they weren't a new sensation but this is the first time he'd felt them from... someone like Stan. He didn't want to say it but it was the first time he'd felt them from a boy. It might not have been new, but to him, it was weird. It was weird to feel them from someone like Stan. They felt perfect in his stomach, the most beautiful patterns and the smoothest flight. But in his brain, the one corrupted by the worst possible town to grow up in, feeling the butterflies because of someone like Stan was weird.
    "Is th-th-this okay?" He asked.
    "What?" Stan asked while carefully placing a band-aid on Bill's hand.
    "I m-mean having the f-f-f-flag in such a hard p-place." Bill clarified "Isn't it against the r-r-rules?"
    "Maybe against the real rules, but not camp rules. Last year, one of the teams buried their flag ten feet underground. They didn't win but it was very impressive placing." Stan said.
"H-H-How did they not wuh-wuh-win?" Bill asked.
"They didn't have me on their team. I've never lost a game." Stan said proudly.
"Wuh-Wuh-Wow. Impressive." Bill said.
"Speaking of which," Stan started before running a few feet and tagging two of the opposing campers who were trying to hide in the bushes "Now get to our jail, it's cabin three." Bill heard a few faint "oh man's" as the campers sulked off to cabin three.
"H-H-How did you get so g-g-good at this game?" Bill asked.
"I'm not sure. I'm not really much of a leader to be honest. Typically, someone else takes that role and I just sort of go with it. But it's different at camp. Even as a camper, I was always organizing these games and making sure everyone had a role. Maybe it's Derry. Derry makes it easier to be reserved. Secretive." Stanley shook his head and laughed a little "And why am I telling this all to you?"
"No, it's o-o-okay! I s-sorta get what you mean." Bill knew exactly what he meant. Derry sucks the life out of you, forces you to fit it's perfect mould of what a man should be, what a brother should be, what a teenager should be. It makes you go into these roles and if you try to just be yourself, not an actor in a play designed for everyone except you, then Derry rejects you. If you don't fit the mould, then you keep that to yourself or you get the hell out of Derry.
"There's so much out there that Derry just doesn't have." Stan sighed.
    "Like wuh-wuh-what?" Bill asked.
    "What do you mean?" Stan responded.
    "Tell me about s-s-something that you l-l-like that Derry doesn't h-h-have." Bill hoped to get Stanley to talk some more, he liked it when he talked.
    "Birdwatching."
    "Birdwatching?"
    "Yeah" Stanley smiled huge "There's so many different kinds of birds. They're all so beautiful and unique, and we get none of them in Derry. This right here where we're sitting is actually a great spot to find birds"
    "T-T-Tell me about them." Bill said.
Stanley happily obliged and went on a monologue about birds. Bill learned Finches are "Granivorous" which he also leaned means they feed on the seeds of plants. He wouldn't tell Stan this because of how happy he looked to be talking about birds, but after that Bill kind of just stopped listening. He wasn't annoyed or bored, but wanting to know more about birds isn't exactly why Bill wanted Stanley to talk. He loved the way his face lit up when talking about his interests, his half smile turning into a real one. Bill loved Stanley's smile. He couldn't understand why Stanley wasn't smiling 25/8 based on how beautiful his smile was. Talking about birds also put a bit of a twinkle in his eye, like the stars in the dark sky above them. Bill could tell he was incredibly passionate about birds. It almost made him want to crack open a book and read about every bird ever. Though he was far too engrossed in Stan right now to even think about focusing on a book.
    "I'm boring you, aren't I?" Stan said.
    "No!" Bill responded immediately "I th-th-think you're r-really interesting."
Once again, it was dark, but Bill could swear on his living mothers future grave that he saw Stan blush.
    "Thanks" Stan smiled, meeting Bill's eyes.
Stan and Bill just took a moment and looked at each other. No words, just them in this moment, and this time Stan didn't look away. And this time Bill let the butterflies swarm in his stomach. Derry didn't matter, other people and their stupid opinions didn't matter, this was their moment under the stars. Bill slowly slid his hand over and prayed that Stan would take it. He sighed in relief as he felt Stan's cold hands meet his own. He didn't care that his hands were cold, knowing they belong to Stan sent warmth spiralling through his body.
    "HEY!" Bill yanked his hand back as he heard a familiar yell. He turned to see Beverly proudly holding up the other team's flag, flanked by Ben and Eddie on either side of her.
    "You got it?" Stanley said with excitement.
    "We got it!" Beverly practically screamed. Bill watched as they jumped up and down with excitement, screaming about sticking it to the 5-9 losers. Bill was less enthused. Beverly had been a reality check. That moment was theirs, that moment was only theirs and always will be. Partly by choice, keeping a special moment sacred. But also partly because they don't have a choice, they couldn't tell anyone. Derry wouldn't allow them to thrive, or maybe even survive like that.
It's fine. It was one moment, doesn't mean you have to be like that forever Bill attempted to rationalize in his mind but rationalization became less comforting by the day.
    "C'mon Bill!" Beverly interrupted his thoughts "We're going to go brag that we won to the kids from cabins 5-9. You better come with!" Bev and Stan ran off together, no doubt going to do exactly what they said. Bill probably should have followed them, but instead he stayed on that fallen log, playing with his hands and almost wishing that Stan had been a murderer. At least things would be easier that way.

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I absolutely love capture the flag, 10/10 camp game. Never had a capture the flag experience quite as intense as this one but it's only fun when everyone gets really into it.