butterflies // stenbrough

- Bill -

Today was going to be a hard day. While the kids went home yesterday, today was the last day of camp for counsellors. There would be a week of nothing and then school would start again. There were things to look forward to, Bill's first year of school with real friends. Bill, Mike, Ben, Eddie, Beverly, Richie, and Stan would all be attending the same school and he could actually talk to them now. It would also be nice to finally be able to shower without threat of cockroaches. Sure, there were benefits with camp being over. There also happened to be a shit ton of downsides too. No more easy access to Stan, he won't be in the same room as Bill all the time anymore. What if he finds someone else with all this time away and leaves Stan for them? Bill might have been the only fish in the pond but what happens when they go back to the lake? And Derry is the worst fucking town on earth, what if all the work Bill did on himself was for nothing? What if he gets back to Derry and all the self doubt and hate just comes rushing back. Plus they'll have to sneak around more now. There was also a small worry about being caught at camp but in Derry they could really genuinely be in danger. Everything was worse in Derry. Even Stan couldn't have his birdwatching anymore. Honestly, even with all the benefits, Bill was dreading leaving camp. He wasn't ready for everything to change. All some people want is change but Bill was perfectly content with his life as is.
    "Toothbrush, toothbrush, socks..." Stan muttered to himself while gathering his things.
    "You're p-p-packing already?" Bill asked.
    "Well we leave in about four hours."
    "Yeah I know b-b-but we have plenty of t-time." Bill said.
    "True enough, I'd just prefer to be packed now rather than rush later." Stan continued packing all his things into one neat duffel bag; Bill didn't even know it was possible to make a duffel bag neat.
"What c-c-classes are you t-taking for grade twelve?" Bill asked, worry seeping into his voice.
"Accounting, algebra, biology, environmental science, humanities, technical theatre, and technical writing. You?" Stan replied.
"B-Business law, physics, chemistry, L-Latin, contemporary literature, calculus, and f-f-forensic science." No classes together, not a single class.
"That's seems like a tough course load. Will you be overworked?" Stan frowned.
"It's okay, I-I had a tougher schedule in g-grade eleven." Bill faked a smile but he was drowning on the inside. Not one class, they couldn't have one class? Just one thing to continually connect him to Stan.
"As long as you're okay with it. Let me know if you ever need help though." Stan continued on packing for home, not bothered at all. Watching him pack without a care in the world sent a wave of insecurity down Bill's body. Was he the only one who wondered what would happen when they got back home? Maybe everyone else was prepared to let camp be camp and abandon everything the second the bus finds it's way back into Derry. Maybe he should ask something about this instead of creating his own insecurities — he probably won't but maybe he should.
    "All packed!" Stan exclaimed. "Do you need any help with your bag?"
    "Um no thanks. I'll d-do it later." Bill responded, a pained smile burned onto his face.
    "Okay, let me know if you need any help. I'm going to check with Eddie quickly, I think he still has my binoculars." Stan gave Bill a quick kiss on the forehead before heading to meet with Eddie.
    Bill collapsed onto his bunk. Sitting down on where he had slept for the past two months, a wave of nostalgia ran over him like a child playing a game. He could see stupid kids running through the cabin as Stan yelled at them to stop. He could see the corner they always would kiss in when the campers weren't around. He could see months of memories he was about to leave behind. He could see his clothes scattered around the cabin without a care in the world to pick them up. What he didn't want to see however was the bus ticket prominently displayed on his mattress.
Walking around the room, he had a strange desire to touch all of it, soak it in for the last time. Even the creeky floorboards called to his hands. The memories enclosed in the chipped wood could fill the pages of a million books, rough but glorious books.
Hesitantly, he grabbed a few shirts and stuffed them in his bag. The rest of his clothes were put away not too long after and sooner than he would have liked, he was packed. Fully packed and ready to leave whenever the bus came.
    "Hey Bi- oh good you're packed too." Richie barged in.
    "Bro? I could have been n-n-naked."
    "Even better." Richie smirked "I'm bored as hell but everyone else is packing, want to do some shit?"
    "Sure."
    "Perfect." Richie smiled "Follow me."
Bill followed him eagerly, anything to take his mind off leaving his temporary home. As they walked through the woods, the ground slowly became damper and damper before they arrived at a soft green body of water.
"What is this pl-pl-place?" Bill asked.
"I don't fucking know, but Eddie came across it one day when he was particularly pissed at me and lived in the woods for a day. It seemed safe enough and the waters pretty warm." Richie explained as he began to take off some of his clothes, leaving only his Spider-Man boxers.
"Woah." Bill put his hands over his eyes. "You have a b-b-b-boyfriend."
"Oh you wish this was for you." Richie smirked as he charged into the water "I just don't want to get my shit wet, especially just before we leave, but to each their own."
Bill removed his shoes and his over shirt, but his shorts and undershirt both stay on. He can wrap them in a towel or something in his bag.
"Okay...." Bill dipped his toe into the water, and for once, Richie did not lie. The water was the perfect temperature and soon Bill's entire body was underwater. "This is n-nice."
    "Right?" Richie smiled. "Might be the only thing I'll miss about this shithole."
    "Do you really hate this pl-pl-place so much?"
    "Fuck yeah." Richie replied. "It's like Derry but with children, and I hate children. I only took it for some extra money."
    "Am I really the only p-p-person who liked it here?" Bill said, almost a joke.
    "You liked it here?"
    "I didn't like ev-ev-everything. Cleaning the dining hall s-s-sucked royally. Some of the people here weren't great either — Henry in p-p-p-particular. But lots of things happened to me here, good things. I feel d-different now, if that's not too cliche. " Bill explained. "So yeah. I would say I l-liked it here. Honestly, I'm kinda w-w-w-worried about leaving."
    "Don't be. Nothing will change really, except you have a super nerdy boyfriend now and some fruity friends to walk around the halls with." Richie said with a smile.
    "Do you think Stan will still want me in D-Derry?"
    "Course. You are the personification of cheese teen romance. Personally I don't know why you would want him, but you do and you're destined to a sweet life with many cats. " Richie joked. "But honestly Bill, Stan's digs you. You're not going to have any problems once we get back. Trust me."
    "Yeah I just... I wish things could stay the exact s-s-s-same. You know?" Bill sighed.
    "Oh that I can't promise you that will happen. Things are gonna change, and they should! If everything stays the same then cool shit never happens because we're all stuck at square one and we're too damn scared to try something different. Change is natural and lets hot people like us reach our hot people destiny's. Is your relationship going to be the exact same after camp? No. Is that a bad thing? No! If anything it just lets you progress further." Richie said, to Bill's surprise. Who knew he had a wise pep talk in him?
   "Wow...thanks Rich." Bill held out his fist.
    "Any day Billiam." Richie happily returned the bump.
    Bill thought about what he said all the way back to his cabin. He could see the bus coming down the trail as he made his way to his bag. The bus wasn't a comforting sight, but he wasn't so afraid of it anymore. It even felt silly now. Who's afraid of a bus?
    "Okay... got my bag, has everything in the checklist.. bus coming." Stan mumbled to himself in the cabin. "Bill! I was wondering when you were going to make your way back."
    "Yeah Richie showed me this p-p-pool thing."
    "I told him that place would give him hepatitis. That water isn't clean you know!" Stan lectured.
    "It was f-f-f-fun though." Bill smiled.
    "I'm sure it was." Stan rolled his eyes. "Ready to leave?"
    Bill took a deep breath and confidently let out a simple answer.
    "Yes. Let's go."

//
That's the end! Thank you so much to anymore who read this far. This story was practically therapy for me and was so helpful for me to have a outlet for what I was feeling. It was never about writing the best thing or being of the highest quality but just something I could write and it did it's purpose. So yeah just thank you <<<<333

stream midnights !!