butterflies // stenbrough

- Bill -

    Three weeks, the three longest weeks of Bill's life. Three weeks of no boyfriend, no hidden kisses, and no boyfriend Stan. They still saw each of course, they are still co-counsellors. They still laughed and talked but as friends, every romantic element was thrown out. It was torture. To see Stan everyday but not be able to touch, to kiss him... it killed him. That old saying "you never know what you have until you lose it" ? Painfully true. He always liked, loved even, Stan but being without him showed Bill that he liked him a hell of a lot more than he thought. Every moment of his time was spent thinking about Stan and daydreaming about the big dramatic moment Stan takes him back.
    Another thing that made his three weeks shit; deconstructing your internalized homophobia is not fun. Once he just spent ten minutes saying "I'm gay" into a mirror over and over which was both uncomfortable and fucking weird. There were also lots of late night talking (and crying, though none of them care to admit it) sessions with Richie and Eddie. Eddie just understood him like no one else did, he was basically just starting his journey too. The hardest part was coming out to June. Honestly, he didn't really want to. Telling someone you're gay is very different than telling your mirror self, but he needed to make sure he was serious about making himself better for Stan, and this was as serious as he could get at the moment. Stress and anxiety plagued him for days over it, though in the end it was very anti-climatic.
    "I'm s-s-sorry to tell you th-this because you're such a g-g-great girl and any guy would be l-lucky to have you but...... I'm g-g-gay." He had told her.
    "Okay.....cool! Still friends?" She had simply responded.
    "S-Sure." She really was such a great girl.
    He had put in so much work, and it was tiring and uncomfortable and really freaking hard, but he was doing it. And he was still doing it, probably for the rest of his life. It may be an uphill climb but going up forever is better than falling down. For once, he was excited with the idea of being with a man. Sure, his brain still yelled at him with mentions of derry and his parents, but for the first time ever he had another voice yelling back just as loud. Daydreams about Stan weren't shut down before they started, in fact they were joyfully received. At first he was concerned about the fact that any nagging voice existed, but Richie convinced him that voice doesn't really go away so that ground is covered. There was definitely more work to do but he did really feel like the best Bill he'd ever been. Now all that's left was the question: how does Stan get to knowing that? He can't exactly just walk up to him and go 'I don't completely hate myself anymore, please make out with me'. A plan, Bill needed a plan, and a damn good one. No half assing it, it had to be the best and most romantic gesture ever (budget permitting). Epic couldn't even describe it, it would be just out of this world, and he needed help.
"Rich, Eddie, I n-n-need your help." Bill declared, storming into their almost empty cabin.
"Fuck you need Billiam?" Richie responded.
"I r-r-really think I'm ready to g-get back with Stan." He explained.
"I think so too." Eddie supported.
"He's all you've talked about for the last million hours so I don't exactly think you're ashamed of liking him anymore." Richie snorted.
"Exactly. But I was th-th-thinking about how to get him back b-basically and I have an outline but I'll n-need your help with it."
"Anything you need." Eddie said.
"Perfect." Bill said with a smile as they officially figured out how to make his idea a reality.

//
Shorter chapter there to balance it out because the next one is a doozy :)