butterflies // stenbrough

- Bill Part Two -

Bill needed to talk to someone. He just couldn't decide who.
    Not Stan.
    His brain was very clear about that, Stan was not going to know. But he still needed to talk to someone. There weren't many options. Beverly was his best friend, maybe her? He decided against it, she would support him maybe but she wouldn't understand. Ben was another option but Bill only knew him because of Beverly, they barely had a relationship and he highly doubted Ben would understand either. It sucked that the only two people who would understand are the same two people he barely knew. He's said about five words to them.
    He let out a groan. He really needed to talk to someone. Yes he had finally realized, but he was nowhere near acceptance or understanding. Someone who had gone through this exact thing is exactly what he needed. Too bad that growing up in such a shitty town meant he only knew two people who had actually gone through this, well "knew" is an overstatement. But fuck, he really needed to talk to someone so against his better judgment he made his way to cabin four.
    The door was a foot from his face and he was fully ready to put more distance in between them. It would have been so easy to just turn around and leave, god knows he wanted to. Hesitantly, he pushed open the door.
    "Jesus!" Bill exclaimed as he was once again greeted by Richie and Eddie making out.
    "We have got to stop meeting like this." Richie said after pulling away.
    "This place has got to invest in some locks." Eddie muttered.
"Um, h-hey." Bill stood awkwardly.
"Did you need something Denbrough? The campers are zip lining so you can say or do whatever shit you want in our cabin right now." Richie said.
"I j-j-just wanted to t-t-talk." His hands burrowed in his pockets.
"Go ahead." Eddie said.
Bill didn't know if he could. He couldn't just leave, he had to tell them something. But the thought of telling them scared him. It was stupid, they wouldn't hate him, but he still felt like they might. It was unrealistic, and he knew that, but he couldn't stop himself from feeling it. "Um..." His eyes began to water and his breath wavered. Leaving seemed more and more appealing every second.
"Shit, you okay?" Richie asked.
"You kn-n-now how you g-g-guys are l-l-like.....g-g-g-gay?" He hated his choice of words.
"Yeah?"
"I'm w-w-worried th-th-that I-I-I" He searched for the strength to finish his sentence "m-m-might also be g-gay."
    "Oh."
    "Yeah."
    "Well that's..." Richie started, searching for the words for the perfect answer.
    "We accept you," Eddie chimed in.
    "Yeah of course" Richie said.
    "Thanks." Bill let out a sigh of relief. Those three words meant everything to him. It was such a simple sentiment, yet one he desperately needed to hear.
    "We all know that Derry sucks ass so you probably think 'oh this is so horrible' and blah blah blah but know that shit isn't true." Richie reassured Bill.
    "I've been in the exact same position where you are now, Richie probably has too" Eddie started.
    "Yeah"
    "Just know that you are not alone." Eddie reached out to squeeze Bill's hand.
    "It's j-j-just so h-h-hard." A tear rolled down his face and he felt no need to stop it, he allowed even more to fall without worry.
    "We know." Eddie and Richie pulled Bill into a hug. He sobbed into their shoulders, yet despite the tears, he was comforted and safe. He was okay. One conversation wasn't going to dispel all the doubt and intolerance he had internalized all his life, but it was nice to not hate himself for one moment.
"My k-k-kids are almost d-d-done arts and c-c-crafts, I have to g-g-g-get back." Bill stepped away from the hug hesitantly. "B-But thank you."
"Don't worry about it." Eddie smiled.
"D-D-Don't know what I'm g-g-gonna do not b-being able to t-talk to you guys all the t-t-time."
"Of course we're always here when you want but you can talk to Stan too." Richie told him. "I know he looks like a stoic bitch but he'll get it."
"Okay." Bill wanted to know Richie meant by that but right now he needed to get back to his kids "See you g-g-guys later!"
"See you." Is the last thing Bill heard before he left the cabin. A smile spread over his face for the first time in a while.
"Hey!" Stan said, herding the kids back into their cabin.
"Hey."
"Where were you?" Stan wondered.
"With f-friends." Bill replied.
"What did you do?" Stan asked.
"Nothing important."

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I'm getting really into instrumental music right now. It's very cool!