butterflies // stenbrough

- Bill-

    Stan lips overpowered Bill's thoughts. For the first time in his life, his mind was blank. Not a single thought flew through his brain. Stan's lips became his Polaris, the centre of his universe. They felt smooth, like silk on his chapped lips. It's a cliche, but he really did feel sparks. They ran without reason, hijacking his brain and his body. And then as soon as they were there, they ran away.
    Bill looked into Stan's eyes as he slowly backed away, he could see worry and anticipation in Stan's eyes. Suddenly, every thought that disappeared from his brain came barreling in all at once. Like a supernova of anxiety. Worries about what to do, what to say, what other people will do, worries about things in his control and worries about things that had nothing to do with him. The most glaring worry was whether he should kiss him back or whether he should deny his attraction. Would it be denial? He had been thinking about Stan a lot since they met, was it friendship? Was he crushing on Stan all this time without even noticing? It almost fit together. Why he thought Stan was so cute, why he wanted his approval so badly, it wasn't friendship. Yet something about him still doubted, he couldn't quite put his finger on it. It was Derry. It was that stupid town that stopped him from realizing he liked Stan in the first place, and that's stopping him from certainty now. He wanted to deny he liked Stan, and he wanted to deny that Derry caused him to want that. He wanted his doubt to be true, not a false fantasy installed by that stupid 30,000 person hell town. But as the moonlight shone into the gorgeous, vulnerable eyes next to him, his doubt disappeared. He liked Stan, he knew it. And to him, that was scarier than doubt. At least doubt offered him a safety net, reality had nothing to fall back on. One wrong move and he could bleed out. Maybe that's why he sat there without movement, forcing his lips to keep distance between him and Stan, no matter how much he wanted to kiss him. But god, the look in Stan's eyes as time passed by without a kiss back almost killed him. The vulnerability in his eyes disappeared and despair flicked for a second before becoming guarded and emotionless. He felt the need to apologize, but he just couldn't get a word out.
    "Hey!" A brunette girl and a ginger girl ran around the corner "We need the clue."
    "Sure." Stanley said, quiet and shaky "You're almost there now, only two more to go. You'll find the next clue where you'll find your coats."
The laughter of the campers running away only made the silence more noticeable. They could feel it in between themselves. Bill desperately searched his mind for something to say, but came up empty. Stan always knew what to say, he was counting on him to say something and solve the worries running rampant in Bill's head.
The silence remained. Bill prayed that lightning would strike him, or a hurricane would happen somehow. Anything that would get him out of this awkward scenario.
"Bill? Stan?" He heard Beverly's familiar voice from the front of his cabin.
"We're b-b-back here!" Bill shouted, his voice noticeably relieved.
"Hey!" Beverly said, turning the corner "Alex and Kendall in cabin five found the ten clues, game's over."
Oh thank god Bill thought to himself before standing up and heading to the grassy field, where two tall boys with black hair proudly accepted their winner certificate. It was "lame" earlier but the two kids seemed genuinely happy about their prize, and quickly showed it off to their friends.
"Congrats to our champions, Alex and Kendall!" Beverly announced, prompting another round of applause "You did great boys! Now it's time for everybody to get a good night of sleep before your parents pick you up. Back to your cabins!"
"C'mon g-guys." Bill led his campers back to their cabin. With a little convincing, they changed into their pyjamas and lay down in their bunks.
"Bill?" A quiet voice rang through the silence.
"Yes?"
"Will you tell us a story? For our last night." The other campers muttered in agreement.
"What k-kind of story?"
"A love story!" James pipped up, the campers laughed at his suggestion at first, but soon they seemed to agree.
"Okay." Bill looked at the tired counsellor across from him and the words he couldn't find earlier materialized, falling out of his mouth without thought.
"So S-S-Sasha and Max were two k-kids in a small town in the 50's. The town was d-divided into X's and O's. And the two sides had to stay to th-th-themselves, X's and O's weren't allowed to be
t-t-together, only X's and X's and O's and O's. But S-Sasha and Max met one n-night by accident, and they r-r-really liked each other. Especially Max, S-Sasha was perfect to Max. He didn't know how to tell her, but she w-w-was. He was s-scared she would h-hate him. So he didn't tell her for a w-while, and he even t-t-told himself he didn't like her. Then S-Sasha made a move on him, and he f-f-froze. Not because he d-d-didn't like her, but because he d-didn't want to like her. He r-r-really liked her, even if he c-couldn't show her. Everyone's c-comments about X's and O's being wrong echoed in his m-m-mind. But he r-really liked her so eventually, they g-g-got together, as Max wished. They didn't kn-n-now what to do, everyone around them t-t-t-talked about how X's and O's together is wrong. So one d-day they ran away together and l-lived happily ever after."
"Booo!" The campers yelled.
"W-What?"
"That was so unrealistic! In what world would someone hate someone else for who they like?" Ryan T.B. complained. "Also it was kinda good but the ending was so rushed."
"I thought it was nice." Stan smiled.
"Thanks." Bill smiled back.
"Now go to bed kids!" Stan ordered, met with groans and boo's. But they were all tired, no matter what they said, so it only took minutes for snoring to fill the cabin.
"Hey." Stan whispered to Bill "I think they're all asleep. Meet me outside."
Bill worriedly obliged, wondering what Stan would say to him. Unrealistic worries of hate filled his brain again.
"So..." Stan started as Bill stepped outside, the cold night breeze pushing his golden curls.
"I'm s-s-sorry, I f-froze but do I r-r-really like you-" Bill's stutter acted up as worry continued to fill his brain.
"Bill." Stan interrupted "It's okay."
"Okay." Bill's interior softened, his brain calming down for once.
"Can I kiss you?"
"Um..." Bill's brain flooded with thoughts, but for once, he didn't give a fuck "Yes, yes you c-can."
Stan's soft lips collided onto his own, and they moved in harmony as if to a song. But not a song you'd hear on the radio, an instrumental song. With piano and violin and everything nice. Their own symphony. He felt the butterflies in his body again, flying up through his stomach and into his lips. They flew in harmony with their symphony, conducting the explosion of music.
Stan chuckled, not in the funny way more of the 'holy shit' way, as he pulled away "We should head back inside."
"Yeah." Bill's lips felt warm, despite the rest of his body freezing. They felt warm throughout the night, as he lay in his bunk thinking of Stan. He could still taste him on his lips. His brain pushed for him to think, think about the consequences or how they moved forward from this, but he ignored it. His brain could wait for another day.

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Fun fact: I rewrote this chapter three times with three different beginnings because I wasn't sure which one I liked.
So what are you guys thinking? What do you think will happen next? What do you want to happen next ?