Safe; M.E

Chapter 15

MADI'S POV

As I sat in the hospital waiting room. I thought. How many people have sat here right where I am. They probably sat here worrying, and praying to god that everything was gonna be okay. Seems sad right? It is. That's exactly where I am right now.

I'm probably sitting in the same seat where a wife was told her husband and passed away. Where a mom was told her son didn't make it. Where a family was told there daughter had cancer. This spot broke people. And it's breaking me. I feel like the world is falling down on top of me. And it's not letting me have any air.

It leaves me gasping for air. Gasping like it's my last chance to breathe. Everybody has tried to talk to me, but I won't say anything. My mind is on one thing, Matt. That is my only worry in the world. The girls tried, but it did not work. Nate, he tried, didn't work. I'm not saying a word. I need Matt to be okay.

I need him to be okay. I need him to be here right beside me. I need him to tell me everything is going to be okay. But is it really? Is everything really going to be okay? No, nothing is ever okay. It's like the world is after me. Damn you to world. What did I ever do to you? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Madi? Taylor said. Madi please you need to say something eat something, Alexis said. I'm not hungry, I said. Madi you look like your starving please eat, Erika said. No, I said. I've got this, Nash said. He came and kneeled down in front of me. Madi listen you need to eat, please for me, for Matt, Nash said.

Nash please I'm not hungry, I said. Babygirl you have to, just a little of something, he said. Fine, I said. Okay I'll go get you something out of the cafeteria, Nash said. I nodded my head. I'm not hungry but if it shuts them up then I don't care. I'm a mess.

I big mess. My hair is everywhere and my eyes are bloodshot red. My makeup is probably everywhere. I had on sweats and looked terrible. I didn't care, I cared about Matt. Matt. I need him to be okay. Nash came back with a sand-which. He sat by me and handed it to me.

Eat this, he said. I took a bite of it then sat it ok my lap. Madi, Matt is gonna make it, stop stressing, Nash said. Don't tell me what to do! You don't know how is feels to have the only person in your life that cares for you, and that you love sitting in a damn hospital probably hurting like hell! Do you know? NO YOU DONT! I screamed.

Madi I care for you, we all do, Matt is going to be fine, I promise, Nash said. Don't make promises you can't keep, I said crying. I placed the sand-which beside me and cried into my hands. I felt dizzy. I don't care. I just need everything to be okay. Okay?

~2 hours later~

I was woke up to be shook by Nash. Madi, he said. I opened my eyes. Yes? I asked. Matt is in his room sleeping you can go see him, Nash said. Really! Can I see him, I asked wiping my eyes. Yeah, he said. Room 278, down the hall, Nash said. I pulled my hair behind me. I got up and looked for the room.

276, 277, 278!

I opened the door and saw Matt laying on the bed. Pale, and lifeless. His chest moving ever once in a while. I sat on the chair with my hair down. I grabbed Matts cold hand. I held it. I sniffled. Oh how I love you Matt, I whispered.

I remember the time when we first meet, I wouldn't look you in the eyes, you always would lift up you chin, I said. I smiled at the memory.

I remember the first time we kissed, I said. I smiled and laughed. I remember how you helped me start eating, I said.

You were always there for me, and how I thank you for that. I'm glad you came into my life, I said.

I put my head into of our hands. I cried. My eyes felt as if they couldn't take anymore tears. But the tears keep coming out.

They poured out like they couldn't stop.....

Matt don't leave me, please....

Matt please be okay...

Please stay.....

Please...

I looked up at him. He looked so peaceful. His chest suddenly stopped moving. Wait what? A nurse came running in and with doctors. I'm sorry but you must get out! The nurse said. What no! I said. A doctor pushed me out the door.

I slid down the wall outside of the room. Why? Matt please don't be dead. I cried harder then I have ever. My sobs could be heard from China. I looked up. I saw Nate coming down the hall. He sat by me on the floor.

You changed him, in a good way, he said.

What? What do you mean? I asked.

You saved him you showed him what love is, before you he didn't know what love was, Nate said.

But...he's dying, I said.

He's dying but that doesn't change the fact that he loves you, Nate said

I moment of silence hovered between us. I thought how many heartwarming stories where told here. How many people said there last words in this very hospital. How many people had to say goodbye right here. How many people are buried beneath me.

Will he make it? I asked Nate.

They....they don't know, Nate said.

The doctors opened the door saying we could come in. He is alive but don't sure how long, the doctor said. The boys and girls came flooding in. This is for you, Nate said. He handed me a letter. Read it out loud, Alexa said. So I did.

Dear Madi,

Your probably reading this because I'm not going to make it. Don't ask how I would know. I knew that the time would come where I had to sacrifice myself to keep you safe. And I'm okay with that. As long as your safe, I'm okay. Don't cry. You don't deserve to. You deserve to me happy. I'm not really good with words....I get confused. But this letter isn't about me. It's about you. I want you to keep going. Don't give up. I've seen the way you love to dance. The way your eyes light up. The way your eyelashes flutter. The way your lips gently part as you mumble the words of the song. I've seen everything about you. And I think all of it's beautiful. I'm sorry I never told you everything about myself. I'm sorry there isn't a lot of time. But for now, you have to live life. Okay? You have to create memories. Because one day, those memories are going to fade into ashes that die with all of us. Life is about flying...

And you made me feel like I'm soaring.....

I love you....
forever and always...

~Matthew Lee Espinosa

I'm so sorry this- the doctor was about to say something when the monitor started beeping. The moving line across the monitor formed a straight line. And that's when I knew, he was gone. Gone... The room went silent. You could hear crying. Mostly me.

That was a beautiful letter, Erika said.

It was, I said crying a little harder.

When I read this letter the words will be imprinted inside my brain and I will never forget them. So they will stay in my heart forever.

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"Matthew Lee Espinosa" he said. "Death time: 5:08pm

This may have been the hardest thing I have ever heard, but Matt just know I love you to, and never will stop. You were my first love. I'll never forget you. Never...
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He kept me safe. Maybe I couldn't save him. But I thank god for all the days we had together. I thank god for keeping us together. But most of all. I thank god for giving him to me to keep me safe........

Note!

OMFG this damn book is over! Currently crying because of this chapter. If you use my letter or any of these Quotes give me CREDS. Because it took a long ass time to write them. Thanks for reading. It means so much. And I'll post a authors note when my next book is up! It should be up tomorrow! Hopefully! Ilygsm💕😊