Lay Me Down 4:Without You

Behind Closed Doors

August Pov

This Is Very Hard To Talk About.Us As Humans We Tend To Hide Our True Feelings.We Cover our True Stories With Lullabies.We Paint A Picture Thats Shows Happiness When There Wasn't.We Cover Up Our Sadness With A Mask.Just Like Ashley Did.I Never Planned On Telling Yal This,But Its Best I Do.Ashley Has Been Depressed For Years,But She Still Managed To Smile And Stay Strong. She Had To Deal With My Bullsh** And Her Personal Stress that She Never Told Me About.What We Didn't Tell You Was,We Was Suppose To Been Have A Fourth Child,But She Had A Miscarriage.Thats Why We Were Excited That Day We Found She Might Be Pregnant and was So Anxious to Get The Answer. But Once She Had The Miscarriage She Had Depression. She Lost Her Appetite And Never Ate Making Her Skinnier then She Was,I Had To Force Her To Eat.Late At Night She Use To Wake Up Crying.She Even Tried Drowning Herself In The Bathtub,So I Had To Watch Her While She Bathe,But She Still Managed To Smile And Act Like Things Was Good When The Kids and friends was Around,You Would Have Thought She Lived A Happy Normal life.And She Always Tended To put everyone before her.She Made Sure She Satisfied Me,Made sure the kids got what they needed,and listened to family and friends problems,when they didn't know she had problems of her own. But That One Day She Found Out She Might Be Pregnant,She Was Excited,she Was Glowing Too,Thats What Made Me Happy,But Then She Died. Its Sorta Good And Bad.Good Because She's Peaceful now in heaven not out here stressing.Bad Cause We Miss Her Dearly.Not One Night I go Without thinking bout her.I'm Proud That She's Happy In Heaven With mel and Her Daddy.I Can Still Here Her Singing in my Ear "You Told Me Not To Cry When You Were Gone ,But The Feelings Overwhelming Its Much Too Strong.Can I Lay By Your Side,Next To You ."

The End.