Lay Me Down 4:Without You

Green Journal

August Pov.

I decided To let The Kids Stay with My mom So They Could Be Surrounded by Family And Kids To keep this All off my mind and While I was in Court.The Drunk driver Was Put in jail And His Liscense Were Suspended, but I Could Have Been Put in jail too. Because While The Drunk Driver Walked Past us I Almost Pounced On Him and Beat His a**,But The Police Caught me Before I could."I'm Sorry Man." The Drunk Driver Said With SO Much Guilt."Sorry ain't Gonna Fu**ing Bring Her Back!She didn't Deserve To Be Killed. She had a fu**ing Baby on the way!" I Yelled At Him as The police Held Me back. I seen So much Guilt in His eyes. He Just kept Saying "I'm Sorry." I Began To Tear Up a Little. We Was  Dismissed From The Court. As I was Driving Home I Kept Thinking This Was all my fault I Was The One Who Said Get The Pregnancy Test Now She didn't Want To Do It,But I made Her. That Should Have Been Me Not her. Thoughts Of suicide came In my head,But I Had To Think about How it Will Be For The kids When both Of there Parents Are Gone And how Ashley Nor Mel wouldn't Want Me To do That anyways. As I Was Home I Sat On My Bed And That's When Ashley"s Green journal caught My Attention.

-Flashback-

Ashley Was Writing Something in This Green journal."whatchu writing?" i asked As I Tried To look In the Journal."Nothing!" She Said As She Tilted The Book To Where I Couldn't See It." Please Can I Read It." i said as i began to Pout." no" she Said As she Giggled."when Can I read It?" I asked. "When I Die." She said." What If I Die Before You?" I asked Curiously." Then You Just Won"t Be able To read It."She Said As She Giggled."ugh" I Said. She Then Said" August You promise Me You Won't read This until I die." I Said "I Won't, I Promise." She Smiled And Gave Me A Kiss. Once She Closed Her journal She Closed It And Put it on Her Side Of The Bed . She rested her Head On My Chest."What Would You Do If I Died?"Ashley Said As She Traced My Tattoo."Cry." I Said as My Eyes Water Up A Little Because Thinking About It Bothered Me. Ashley then Looked Up At Me And Gave Me A kiss. "I Can't Imagine Myself Without You" I Said.

-End Of Flashback-

I Picked Up The Book And Read it. It Said" Dear August, I Love You So Much,You mean the World To Me. I'm Thankful For All The Times We Had Together And The Memories We Shared. If You're Reading this It Means I Must Have Died Or You Are Just Being Disobedient, But I Want To Tell You Don't Cry For Me,Just Smile Because I'm in A Better Place,Chilling With Mel. I Want You Too Find someone who Makes You Happy And Treats you and The Kids Right. Tell The Kids I Love Them And I Will Always Be There By Their Side,Same For You. Make Mommy Proud! :-) . If You're Ever Missing me Think Of all The Good Memories We Have And watch The Videos I Made When I Was Bored. I Sent It To Your Email Because I Know You Don't Check Them. Aren't You Glad I Made Videos For You To remember me By. I Made Videos For The Kids Too. I Actually Made A Video Me Masturbating If You ever Get Horny.Jk! I Bet You Got Happy For A Second. Oh yea For My Funeral I Want You And Chris To Sing So Hard To Say Goodbye. I Want Chris To Sing Autumn Leaves And I Want You To Sing Make It Home And Heaven By Beyonce. You Know What I Want it To Be like A Concert If You Feel Like Singing I Luv This Sh**,Sing It. Make Sure Everybody Smiling,not Crying. Please And Thank You. One Wise Man Said Pick Your head up Love,Smile.(you said that) I Want you to Continue To Grind Don't let my death stop you.Keep Grindin,Grindin,Grindin

I Love You Auggie Bear. " After I Read That I smiled as a Tear Went Down My Face."I Love You Too Lee." I Said As I Closed The Journal.