lovesick idiots, anonymous // jujae

letter 63

hyunjae had found himself confused the next day. juyeon and changmin had turned up late with jacob and changmin's friend younghoon in tow. juyeon had looked positively exhausted before the practice even started and hyunjae just couldn't understand why. he became even more confused when juyeon seemingly couldn't look him in the eye.

it was difficult to concentrate as hyunjae was sat at the front of the room trying to take note of every single things the two dancers were doing. of course, he had younghoon for backup, the older boy was sat at the back to look for things that hyunjae might miss. despite this, he still couldn't help but feel guilty, hyunjae's mind was so consumed by juyeon that he missed almost everything.

it got a little better throughout practice, juyeon was able to meet his gaze as hyunjae explained to him that his arm wasn't as high as changmin's at a particular part of the dance and it looked a little weird. despite blushing furiously, which hyunjae attributed to him being upset that he'd done something wrong, juyeon acted almost normal for those few seconds.

the final straw seemed to come when hyunjae tried to point out to juyeon that his shoe lace was undone and the younger was in such a daze that he ended up not hearing hyunjae's warning and falling over. the older quickly ran to his best friend's side to help him up yet instead of walking back to where he was sitting and letting the practice carry on, hyunjae decided to ask juyeon flat out why he was acting so strange.

"why are you acting so weird with me, did something happen?" he questioned as soon as he pulled the younger back to his feet.

juyeon seemed taken aback at this and hyunjae quickly began to panic that he had done something wrong or that juyeon had somehow found out about the letters. the events of yesterday's lunch still hadn't left the older's mind. even with chanhee's reassurance that they would never expose his secret, hyunjae just couldn't find it in him to believe them.

"it's nothing," juyeon replied almost solemnly after a few seconds passed. the entire rest of the room was silent now with jacob, younghoon and changmin looking between each other and seemingly having a mental conversation about whether to leave them alone or not. they ultimately decided against it when hyunjae spoke out again.

"it's obviously something," he frowned, "you're never this awkward around me, i'm worried."

the frown that appeared on juyeon's face then was enough to make hyunjae curse himself for never being able to keep his thoughts inside. the younger boy looked nearly scared by hyunjae's words.

"i... uh.... i..." juyeon tried to stutter out a response as he looked towards the other three boys as if he was asking for their help. they didn't offer any and instead the dancer was left to his own devices to calculate a response.

"you haven't done anything," he began, "i guess i'm just nervous about the festival and i keep thinking that you've done so much to help me practice and stuff for it, i don't want to mess up and disappoint you."

hyunjae's heart nearly broke in two as he heard the sincerity pouring from juyeon's voice. it was obvious that that wasn't all that was on his mind but hyunjae knew that his best friend often took time to come to terms with things himself before he would then share them. if this was all that juyeon wanted to share with him at that point then hyunjae would accept that and try and reassure him as much as he could with the little insight he had.

"juyeon please listen to me," hyunjae began as he lay his hand on the other boy's shoulder and for the first time that day, juyeon properly met his gaze, "firstly, you won't mess up, you forget that you're lee juyeon, you're so so talented that it's almost ridiculous, i've watched you perform so many times over the years and i've never noticed even one mistake," the younger's lips curled into a small smile at this as he nodded and took in hyunjae's words.