lovesick idiots, anonymous // jujae

letter 65

hyunjae awoke to a peaceful silence on thursday morning. it had been late already when juyeon had left the previous night so the younger boy had made his best friend promise that he wouldn't turn up to his dance practice the next day. begrudgingly, hyunjae had agreed but with how tired he felt as he cracked his eyes open that morning, he internally thanked his past self.

despite hyunjae not being at the practice, he still noticed a few messages from juyeon after clicking his phone screen on and wincing at the bright blue light.

good morning, i hope you're feeling better today

and if you're not i hereby swear to destroy the thing that made you upset

if you want me to of course

but really i hope you're feeling better and you got some good rest last night

you're gonna be mad at me for this but i asked changmin to start our morning practice early so that i can come over and we can pack for the trip tomorrow

don't say anything about it because i won't change my mind

hyunjae chuckled as he read through the messages. there was no doubt in his mind that juyeon was the most selfless person alive. despite how nervous he was for the festival and how his drive for perfection made practice the most important thing to him, juyeon had still put hyunjae first. the older boy didn't even bother trying to fight the furious red that painted its way over his cheeks.

due to everything that had happened yesterday, hyunjae had almost forgotten about the trip and he would be lying if he said that he wasn't nervous. having juyeon as his roommate definitely didn't feel like the easiest thing to deal with especially considering how strange the younger had been acting around him over the last few days. hyunjae knew that if juyeon started to act odd while on their trip, he just wouldn't be able to handle it.

however, hyunjae had awoken feeling positive that morning. after spending the last night with juyeon, everything had finally began to feel normal again. just for a moment, the older was content to push his feelings to the back of his mind and simply exist with juyeon as if he had never thought of him as anything more than a best friend.

it was an odd thought. hyunjae was never really sure of whether he would get rid of his feelings or not if he was given the option. on one hand, being in love with juyeon was amazing, he could finally understand all of the love songs he listened to and his heart felt beautifully full whenever juyeon would show him affection (which was very often). yet on the other hand, being in love with juyeon could be heartbreaking, it was the lack of knowing, the pining, the terrifying thought that hyunjae could be stuck in an unrequited love for the rest of his life.

the boy tried to push the negative thoughts off quickly as he clicked his phone screen off and threw back his covers to get ready. it was somewhat relaxing to finally have time to go through his morning routine at a leisurely pace and hyunjae was able to shower, cleanse and even eat a full breakfast before he had to leave.

walking to school was more relaxing too. hyunjae had his earphones in and casually flicked through the songs on his and juyeon's joint playlist smiling fondly whenever they corresponded with a particularly vivid memory. by the time he finally arrived to class, the boy felt as if he had relived some of his and juyeon's best moments together simply through listening to a few songs.

seeing his best friend already sat in his seat waiting for hyunjae to walk through the door felt like the cherry on top of the cake for the older boy's perfect morning. the dancer had greeted him with a smile and juyeon's eyes curled up so prettily that hyunjae knew he had never seen a sight as beautiful.