It's not difficult for me to abandon everything/one I love.only for the reason that I always feel like there's something about me I haven't discovered yet.a sense of lost freedom and closed mind that makes me want to go further,push further and test my limits.there's always something to discover,lost somewhere in the depths of a cave or the sea,the ground.therefore,something to discover in the depths of my own mind.since I started cutting the wrists of my own brain,I lost touch with the universe specially with the stars,nevertheless I would have endless conversations with the moon.
the wind stopped talking to me and the trees melody wouldn't please my ears anymore.
since I hung 'change' in my mind I am lucid and my body heat changes accordingly to my emotions and surroundings.but I still lay in bed at night looking at the pattern that unknown lights form in the walls,I still find myself craving red,I still feel my feet tingle when I approach a clif or tall building.that's how I know there's something to change,to improve.more to discover,to feel and more to stop feeling.
If there's something I've learned from the past years is that you dont break habits you replace them.even so,you find better ones.
How do you define habit? most people spit out "doing drugs" "drinking too much" but if you never noticed here's what it means...
habit:a usual way of behaving : something that a person does often in a regular and repeated way.
and an addiction is the same.
wether it is drinking or writing,singing or dancing,cutting or painting,an addiction is an addiction.
I replaced my addiction to self-distruction with self-building.cutting with music.starving with exercising and panicking with writing.I am still a 'junkie' of some sort.I still do things too often and I still find happiness in it.
I'm just an addict with a pen...turning an ordinary teen story into something more.turning self-destruction into poetry and a never ending narrative.putting my recovery into words.romanticizing bad love stories.disguising tragedies with metaphors and using too many adjectives.If you ever wondered what's like being a writer of any kind,this is it.we are all addicts.I'm just one with a pen, listening to the wind whisper when it feels alone.
YOU ARE READING
Glory & Gore
Non-FictionMia is a normal girl,or so you think.Mia kathryn is 17 years old and is,in fact,an unique girl.when she finds her old notebook she keeps it and starts dragging it everywhere she goes.haunted by who she is,who she wants to be and who her ghosts tell...
