You Get Me So High | renyang

HEADLINE: Huang Renjun Lost His Moxie

     Ten rapped at the door, his knuckles sliding down the wood before slowly pushing the door open. "Yangyang?"

"Go away, traitor."

The younger's bed, titled at the bottom from Ten sitting down. Yangyang was tangled in the sheets, hiding his face in his pillow. Kun had said he'd been like this for days. Hendery tried to talk to him, but Yangyang was persistent. He had barely eaten, barely slept. His best friend's hand rested against his covered leg, rubbing the blanket on top. "You need to eat, Yang. Your room is a disaster and you smell like death itself."

"Besides... I need to tell you something. Something I tried to tell you at your party. You've been pushing me off for days now, but I'm not going to keep hiding from my best friend," He continued. There was a moment of silence before Yangyang pushed the covers up and sat up against the wall. "...Do tell..." He mumbled. Ten smiled, using his finger to move Yangyang's hair out of his face. He took a deep breath, scooting closer. "Kun and I are together. Romantically. We've been waiting for the right time to tell you," Ten said. Yangyang's face scrunched up. "Hmm... So, not only did you invite "Renjun & Co." to ruin my birthday but you're fucking my brother too?" The blond boy whined and kicked his feet. "God, this is the worst week ever!"

The older sighed softly. "Yangyang, I like Kun a lot. It's not like I'm out to get you." He looked down at his hands and looked up at his best friend once again. "Your brother is a good person. He's good to me, you know? It's like, all my life, I've been looking to be loved by the wrong people, but Kun is the right person. He makes me feel like I'm flying when I think about him. He's kind and gentle with me."

Yangyang's face fell as he remembered Renjun. He missed the adrenaline-like feeling. He missed the way his body heated up when the other touched him. He missed liking him so much it felt as though he might die. "Like how you feel about Hendery," Ten added. Yangyang looked up at him, awkwardly smiling. It's not like he didn't like Hendery, it just didn't feel the same. He could tell Ten desperately wanted him to end up with someone that treated him well so he didn't have to deal with the same dating history Ten had. Desperate for love and letting people use him for all the wrong reasons.

---

For once, Yangyang was the one skipping classes. At first, Renjun thought maybe the younger was just avoiding him, but it seemed like Ten and Hendery had been spotted just as lonely as he was. Ten minutes before the ending of his lecture, he felt the chair beside him move, his eyes wandering from his hands up to the familiar blonde boy. "Yangyang? Where have you been?" He whispered as the other sat down.

"Don't flatter yourself, Huang. It's the only seat open," the younger man mumbled, not giving him a glance.

The taste of his own medicine did, indeed, sting. He couldn't deny he was genuinely worried about the other ever since their dispute at the party. The two sat in tense silence as their professor's voice boomed through the room with complete nonsense. Renjun moved his hand slowly to touch pinkies with Yangyang, but before they could link, Yangyang moved his own down to his lap.

The older's chest tightened. Were things finally done for good? So much as he couldn't even look Renjun in the eyes? "Class dismissed," The professor spoke, pulling the shorter boy from his thoughts. Yangyang stood up from his seat, followed by the brunette grabbing his arm. He swore for the slightest second, the taller had looked him in the eye for the first time in a week. But the moment was quickly interrupted by a glance towards the figure at the entrance of the room. "Hendery's waiting for me," he said.

The shorter nodded in response, willing to take advantage of the minute he had. "I never should've kicked you out at the party, Yangyang. I knew I made the wrong decision as soon as I left you outside my bedroom door. I've spent the last four weeks trying to distract myself, hoping that I wouldn't feel it, but I still do."

He was met with silence, however, he took it as an offer to continue. "I was scared, Yangyang. I'm so used to feeling absolutely nothing and you were not supposed to be a bump in this road, throwing me off the fucking path." The older's hand traced down his ex-lover's arm, pulling his hand up to touch his own face. "Don't leave with him," He whispered.

Removing his hand, Yangyang took a look over his shoulder. "Why? Give me one reason."

"I know you don't want to..." "Not good enough."

Renjun scoffed, rolling his eyes out of habit. "Yangyang, I don't want you to." The blonde shook his head before speaking again, "That's not enough. Tell me the true reason you want me to stay right where I am, Renjun. Say it, and I'm yours."

How could Renjun say he loved Yangyang if he didn't exactly know what it was? Was love the sleepless feeling these past few weeks? The endless hole that no one he called late at night could feel? "I..." No matter how hopeful the younger looked at him, practically nodding his head as Renjun egged him on, begging for him to say it... He couldn't. "I can't...."

Everything about the blond's expression dropped. He ran his thumb over Renjun's hand. "That's all I needed to hear," he said, dropping the other's hold before turning around to join the person waiting for him.

And all Renjun could do was stand there.

---

"Plan B," the eldest spoke, causing his two best friends to groan with their heads back. "No Plan B, Renjun. You need to tell him how you feel," Jisung said. "Nnnngg.." He scrunched his nose up at the idea, shaking his head vigorously. "Stop pretending you're not hopelessly in love with him. You're losing him. He's so far to being gone."

"He can't even be honest with himself, how is he going to admit that to Liu. Renjun, how many people have you took interest in since his birthday party? Because to us, we haven't heard a single headline hit the post since. Where's your spark?" Chenle encouraged. He was right. Losing Yangyang had triggered the world of Renjun into complete still. He was the only thing on his mind. He was the one thing Renjun wanted and, yet, finally couldn't acquire anymore.

He ran his tongue over his bottom lip, watching his target from across the quad. It was hard for Yangyang to focus on his music theory assignment with Hendery's face buried in his neck. He was undoubtedly annoyed, however, he could feel brown eyes burning into his skin. He knew Renjun was watching and that was enough motivation to let the other keep touching him.

Hendery eyes darted from Yangyang's to Renjun's, wrapping an arm around his waist. "If you're going to make him jealous, you should hide it better," he spoke softly into his ear. The younger's mouth dropped in panic. "No, it's not like that, I promise-" Hendery's hands extend out to hold his boyfriend's cheeks, giving him a kiss that would normally spark a fire inside anyone. He could feel Yangyang tense up against him. "You can think about him if you want," the older reassured him, moving a hand down to hold him in place.

Their lips hovered above one another for a quick moment. The blonde closed his eyes tightly, pressing his lips against the other's while reminiscing the taste of the cake-flavored chapstick he loved so much.

Jisung's hand placed itself on his friend's shoulder to give it a comforting squeeze. "I haven't lost yet. Tomorrow's another day, boys! I have a feeling he just needs a reminder of where he truly belongs." Chenle and Jisung took a long look at their leader's plotting smirk and then to each other. 

(A/N:)

I'm so sorry this update took so long. I was at a loss for what to write this chapter. I hope you enjoy! Do you prefer Yangyang with Hendery or Renjun?