once more to see you

Past

Tears stained Shigaraki's cheeks as he read the message. Izuku was too kind. Shigaraki had hurt his friends, yet here he was worried about him. Izuku's kindness was dangerous. Being around the green-eyed boy made Shigaraki all too aware of the cruelty of others. When he had first met the Izuku, the boy's eyes didn't shine, they were a muted sage. The boy was covered in scars and was dull to pain. But as time went on the boy showed Shigaraki true kindness for the first time, his sunshine smile, and soft caring actions melted Shigaraki's heart. The boy was his family.

Shigaraki typed out a message and pressed send.

-

Shigaraki's iphone

Izuku: I met the hero students today. I think it went well. stay safe. tell the league I say hi. talk soon gn.

Shigaraki: you stay safe too. let's meet soon.

Shigaraki: outside of the bar.

-

He needed Izuku. But he didn't want Sensei to hurt him. So they had to meet away from the man's surveillance.

Reaching for his phone, Izuku turned his alarm off. Rubbing his eyes, sunlight filtered in through the curtains. Once the world was so longer blurry, he looked at his notifications.

A good morning text from the self proclaimed bakusquad. How sweet.

A text from Hatsume with the list of hero students that put requests in for them.

And a text from... Shigaraki?!

Well fuck. That's definitely not what he expected to see. I mean yes, he did text him last night. But he didn't think he'd get a reply, especially not one asking to meet up. So after texting back a place and time, he got dressed. Questions still floating in his mind.

-

School went by slowly. The hero course students were nice and all, and Hatsume was as entertaining as ever, but with the worry of what his friend wanted to say occupied his attention. It was obvious people noticed how he was acting, but he would only answer a simple 'I'm okay' if anyone asked.

-

Finding himself waiting outside a cafe, he gripped the end of his sleeve tightly. He felt a familiar hand gently grip his wrist. It was Shigaraki. Without a word, the older boy scanned the area, he couldn't risk being followed. He dragged Izuku inside the cafe, being sure to bring them to the table furthest from people.

"Izu, I know that it was a little soon to want to see you, especially because of what went down last time. But... if I don't tell you now I probably won't ever." Shigaraki said quietly, his eyes already shined of unshed tears. Izuku didn't speak, he only nodded. "I'm not sure what I'll do if you don't accept me. I promise I wasn't trying to deceive you or anything—" his hands were shaking. "I'm trans, ftm." The man kept his red eyes trained on the floor, he didn't want to see the same look sensei gave him on Izuku's eyes. He felt warm arms wrap around him. "I would never abandon you because of who you are. It doesn't change how I see you or what type of person you are." Izuku whispered to him, the soft tone, so contrary to any he's heard before. Shigaraki leaned into the touch. "Thanks." The man whispered. Izuku pulled away, looking at his friend with serious eyes. "I'm assuming that isn't everything, right?" Shigaraki nodded. "I'm going to tell you about Sensei, and how I met him. The only thing I need you to know is he's a really powerful person, and I can't risk him finding out I told you anything." Izuku nodded.

Shigaraki took a breath, this was going to be heavy. His eyes weren't done shedding tears yet. "I had a nice family, I had two parents, a sister, and a dog. I was going to be a hero when I grew up, just like my grandma. But that dream didn't last long. My father was extremely against heroes, and when he found me looking at pictures of my grandma, talking nonsense about wanting to be a hero, he locked me outside." Shigaraki shivered at the memory, it was so cold outside. "Unfortunately for me, that was also the day my quirk came into play. I huddled with my dog for warmth, only to watch it disappear in front of me. My sister, she was so caring, came outside to check on me, and let's just say the sight of me crying, covered in blood, wasn't pretty. She screamed and ran to me, reaching her hand out to comfort me, and she ended up disappearing too. My parents came outside to see what happened, and I ran to my mom. I was scared. When I hugged her legs, she dissolved at my feet. My father was going to kill me, literally, coming at me with the intent to kill. He died too, at my hands." Shigaraki said, staring at his gloved hands. A far too scarred hand gripped his. He looked up at Izuku. "None of that was your fault." The younger boy said softly, holding his friend's hand tightly. Shigaraki looked back down at the floor. "It gets worse." Izuku squeezed his hand in reassurance. "I ran from my home. I desperately tried to get the blood of my clothes, but the contact of my hands, only disintegrated parts of the clothes I had. Walking along the street, in rags, alone, my
once black hair an almost white messy braid. I met sensei that night. He promised me he would take care of me. Well, turns out that with almost white hair I look a lot like a girl version of his long dead little brother who he had an obsession with. He raped me. I still remember
the pain, the confusion, he told me he saved me, and I believed him." Shigaraki took a breathe, continuing to stare at his hand, he didn't want to see Izuku's expression. "I know that it could have been worse if Sensei didn't take me off the streets. So I was loyal to him, I adopted his ideals, I trained myself like he asked. He treated me kindly, for the most part, until I turned 8. I had almost completely unsupervised access to the internet and would research my feelings there. I figured out what being transgender was, and it felt right. I told Sensei, he didn't really take it well... I was punished. It took years for him to stop calling me by my dead name. But if you were to talk to him outside of my presence... he would probably misgender me. I didn't realize he was manipulating me til I met you. You were so kind to me and expected nothing in return. When you confronted me about your concerns, Sensei threatened to hurt you, I don't know what to do, you don't deserve to be hurt, you aren't a monster like me." At this point tears were rolling down both boy's cheeks. Izuku's eyes shone with anger. "Shiggy, I will do everything I can to get you away from that man. You aren't a monster, you didn't deserve any of that. You were the first person to truly treat me kindly as well." At this Shigaraki's eyes widened, he knew Izuku had a fucked-up past. Society isn't kind to the quirkless. But was it really so horrible, that he considered Shigaraki's actions, kind? "What's your Sensei's villain name? I will do everything to help take him down." "All for One." They exchanged hugs and went on their way. Each had their own people to get back to.

Izuku knocked out the door of Katsuki's house. When he saw the familiar blonde haired boy opens the door, he collapsed on top of him. Katsuki's face turned a bright red. "What's wrong? I can't keep this up, you're heavy." Katsuki said, pushing the boy off. That earned a watery laugh from Izuku. "Sorry Kacchan. I don't know why I'm here, just found out some heavy shit about my friend, and I didn't think it would be a good idea to be alone." Katsuki's eyes widened at the implications behind the boy's words. "It's fine. You can stay over, just tell me about this 'friend' of yours." Katsuki said, using air quotes on the word friend. "He's real!" Izuku exclaimed. "But the things he shared about his past are heavy, and when you find out who he is. You won't like it." Izuku admitted, tears filling his eyes as he recalled what his friend said. Katsuki panicked, he's not
good with emotions or crying. "It's fine, just get your ass inside." And with that he pulled the inside and shut the door.