once more to see you

Blame

White light filtered in through fluttering eyelashes. The fluorescent lights triggered alarms in Izuku's mind, hospitals were dangerous, the doctor was dangerous. He immediately began to panic, pain shot through him, the needles delivering IV imbedded in his arms felt like a match on his skin. He thrashed violently, ripped of all the medical equipment attached to him, setting off the machines alarms. His eyes dashed around the room as his vision slowly focused. His eyes fell on a sleeping boy with a familiar head of blonde hair. What was he doing here? Was he still captured by the doctor? Did they hurt Katsuki?!? He cried out as the pain of his injuries thrummed powerfully.

Katsuki woke, his eyes dashing to Izuku's. The pain in Izuku's glossed over eyes caused Katsuki to physically recoil. He ran to the greenette's bedside, "Izu we saved you, we got you." Katsuki pleaded, hoping the boy would stop lashing out so he could give him pain medicine or something to ease the suffering happening in his nervous system. The blonde reached out, being gentle wasn't his forte, but when it came to Izuku, he had to figure his shit out. He gently placed his hand on Izuku's curls, watching as the fear in the green eyes dissipated, leaving Izuku who stared at Katsuki in tears. "Kacchan-" Katsuki gently pet the boy's curls. "-it hurts, so much." Izuku cried. A nurse ran into the room holding the pain medication and a syringe. Izuku flinched at the sight of the nurse, flashbacks of pain searing through him as a doctor cut into his arm plagued his mind, the fact that he was grounded was completely reliant on Katsuki's touch. Katsuki noticed, moving his hand covered Izuku's eyes as the nurse injected the pain meds. The painful wince Izuku let out made the fire ranging in Katsuki burn brighter. "I'm going to fucking kill that doctor life in tartarus isn't enough for that monster." Katsuki growled, causing Izuku to crack a faint smile. "Does that mean I saved them?" Izuku asked, pulling Katsuki's hand off his eyes. "Yea, you saved everyone you nerd." Katsuki spoke, the roughness in his voice more prominent than usual thanks to repressed tears. "Thank you." Izuku said, squeezing Katsuki's hand. Katsuki pretended he didn't feel his cheeks heat up, opting to gently ruffle Izuku's hair and stay next to the greenette as he passed out.

-

Izuku woke up to the sound of knocking, the league stood in the doorway looking in. Toga, the always excited ran up to Izuku. The room went silent. The green-eyed boy had flinched. Toga's excited expression dropped, Katsuki clenched the sheet covering Izuku, Shigaraki dug his nails into his palm, everyone in the room was hyper-aware of what had happened. "Zuzu, I'm going to kill that fugly doctor." Toga said, twirling the butterfly knife she always took with her, receiving nods in agreement from everyone else in the room. Izuku let out a pained laugh, "I can't do much to stop you in this position, but please don't hurt anyone, I wouldn't want you to go to jail." Izuku said softly, trying to get rid of the awkward energy in the room. "Fine, orange isn't a nice color for me anyways, I prefer red." Toga says, pouting as she slips her knife back into the holster under her skirt.

Each member of the league slowly approached Izuku's bed, exchanges a glance at Katsuki, (who is still sitting on the bed next to Izuku) and looks the greenette up and down, making sure that they take in ever detail that assures them he's alive. One by one The League leaves, Shigaraki being the last to go, whispering something to Izuku before leaving, "Thank you." Izuku smiles, giving Shigaraki's hand a squeeze before he left.

-

Izuku and Katsuki sat in the patient room, the noise of a heart monitor filled the room, a reminder that Izuku had survived. Katsuki attempts to focus on the noise, staring out the window as the sound filled his ears. Tension simmered in the almost quiet room, emotions threatening to spill out of the two boys.

Izuku shifts on the uncomfortable mattress. He hits his leg against the side of the bed. His nerves were still on fire. A shrill yelp escapes his mouth.

Katsuki's head snapped back to look at Izuku.

"You can still feel the effects?" Katsuki asked, the concern in his voice clear as day. Izuku nodded slowly.

Katsuki broke.

"You're too damn kind, so focused on saving others that you forget about yourself! If had been there... if I had been stronger, then it never would've happened." Katsuki's nails dug into his palm as he clenched his fists. Izuku was panicking, it hurt to see Katsuki beat himself up over something that wasn't his fault, Izuku had already been witness to the guilt of the blonde, he didn't need any more. "I already put you through so much, I was supposed to make sure you didn't get hurt again. I PROMISED MYSELF I WOULD NEVER BE THE REASON YOU RECEIVE A SCAR AGAIN!" Katsuki shouted, pointing at himself, his body shaking with anger towards himself.

Izuku grabbed Katsuki's hands. "You aren't at fault! Every time I get hurt isn't your fault! You already owned up to your past, I don't want you to feel hurt for me!" Izuku exclaimed, tightening his grip on Katsuki.

"IZUKU DONT YOU DONT GET IT! I DESERVE TO FEEL GUILTY!" Katsuki screamed, his eyes confirming all his words were genuine. Izuku couldn't take it anymore, his own eyes burned with tears, Katsuki is just as hurt as him. How could he assure the crimson-eyed boy that society failed them both? That Izuku couldn't bear to see him reminiscing about the past. As much as Izuku had hurt, he had built himself back up, and he needed Katsuki to stay in his life as a pillar. Katsuki continued, "HOW CAN YOU EVEN LOOK AT ME WITHOUT VOMITING? I DONT DESER-" Izuku wouldn't let him finish, his lips crashing with Katsuki's.