Faded Memories [Book I]

Eleven

Diary #11
The beginning of small lies.

I can feel my heart beating so fast as I am here at their door. I don't know but I feel nervous maybe because I need to act someone I've never met in my whole life.

I tried stalking her social media accounts but only thing I found was she's on her third year of Medicine School. Wow! I can't believe we even have the same dream. I wanted to be a doctor but because of our financial status and I'm not even smart I tried forgetting that dream- well I am still part of health care team.

But... I'm a nursing student.

She's already an orphan. Her parents died when she was so young. It must've been so hard on her part. Kung ako yon, baka hindi ko kakayanin.

She's from Nueva Ecija. She has alot of awards. She's an achiever. I can even tell from her looks that she's a smart-ass. Oh I wish we have the same brain.

I really wanna feel what it feels like to be smart. Siguro sobrang yabang ko na nun! Ramdam ko na kung paano sabihan ang ibang tao ng "Bobo! Hindi ganyan... dito ka nga, turuan kita!" mga ganong bagay.

Ang sarap lang sabihin! Yung mga matatalino kasi sa room namin, pabida lahat eh. Sarap tusukin ulo nila ng injection.

Nagulat ako ng biglang nagbukas ang pinto at nakita ko si Hans? I really don't know what should I call her. Alam mo yung feeling nasa on the spot aktingan ka at hindi mo alam kung anong gagawin mo? Eto nararamdaman ko ngayon.

Sana man lang may director na nagsasabi kung anong gagawin ko eh!

Si Ma'am Vien naman kasi inasa lahat dun sa Diary niya wala man lang yung side ni Sabrene para malaman ko man lang kung paano ang galawan niya o ano.

But I am just pretty sure her memories are a little bit distorted because of her brain traumatic injury? I don't know but can you forget someone you loved the most?

Can love really conquers all?

Iw, Love!

I don't really believe in love. That's just pretty corny and so lame.

Halos hindi ako makagalaw ng bigla niya akong niyakap then suddenly all of their memories from her diary flashed into my mind.

So... they're in.. a... romantic relationship, right?

Mag girlfriend sila.

Girlfriend.

Not girl friend but girlfriend.

Yes, girlfriend with no space.

Shit.

Paano kung halikan niya ako?

Eh kung mag sex kami?

Fuck?

Come on! I'm not a virgin anymore I know what does people in a relationship do nowadays. They're more bold in this kinds of things. We're in a modern day. Sex is not something you consider as sacred between married couple but something a fun experience with young couples. They would even explore.

Siguro makakaya ko pa siyang halikan pero sex? There's no fucking way I'd do that with her. Ugh! Just thinking of it makes me stressful.

Dammit. I don't know if I am overreacting right now or what. I am just not really into girls even though no matter how asshole those men and no matter beautiful she is- just no.

I don't see myself being in a relationship with a girl or even kissing them.

"Thank you! Thank you, Hon for coming back to me." sabi niya ng maramdaman ko ang paghigpit ng yakap niya. Okay, girl that's too tight already. Luwagan mo naman onti.