sarah paulson one shots

enough for you - cordelia goode

summary: shy reader doesn't think she's enough for cordelia so she suppresses her feelings for her until she finds out.

warnings: none

word count: 3380

.   .   .

It was a weird feeling. You always wanted to be around Cordelia, talking to Cordelia but at the same time, you wanted to hide from her and you never even spoke to her unless spoken to. Even even then, you would only answer with one or twos words. It wasn't like you were scared of her in a way that you thought she would harm you. Of course she would never hurt you, not in a million years. You felt safe and protected around her but it was nervous in the sense where whenever she would even glance at you, you would forget anything you've ever known from your name to the color of the sky.

Every morning you would wake up and tell yourself that this would be the day you finally gain enough confidence to speak but it would just end in you freezing whenever Cordelia would try and start a conversation with you. And it really did suck because you loved Cordelia (maybe even a bit more than you should) and there was so much potential but your mind told you different. Your mind told you that if you were to let her in, even only slightly, she would hate you.

Now you sat in her class, watching as she walked around the room of witches with so much confidence, so much power. Her dress would sway with each of her movements and whenever she walked in front of a window, her blonde hair would glow ever so slightly more. She was ethereal, she was like a piece of artwork in the most finest museum. You wondered how anyone who would even glance over at her, doesn't instantly fall in love. Her smile was captivating, you loved watching her rosy cheeks rise whenever someone would say something nice to her or make her laugh and god how you wish you were the one that was making her laugh. But you shook those thoughts away. It was hard but it had to be done. You thought the women deserved so much more than you could ever offer her.

Now the attention was on you. Every eye of the witches that were just like you were pinned right to your face. But most importantly, the eyes that made you so nervous, Cordelias were on you. Suddenly your throat began to feel dry and your heart started to beat so fast to the point where you thought it would actually fly out of your chest.

"Can you name the ability where one can create and control fire with their mind?" Out of all the witches in the room, she chose you. You couldn't help but think that she did it on purpose, that you were a target because she knows just how shy you were. But it wasn't Cordelia's intention to make you feel that way and deep down you knew that. All she wanted to do was pull you out of your comfort zone so you could feel comfortable where you were supposed to. She really meant no harm.

"Um" You gulped, your eyes darting everywhere but her pretty face. Seconds went by, or maybe minutes, you didn't know, you just knew that everyone in this room was judging you. Maybe not Cordelia but you wouldn't let yourself believe that she wasn't. "No i can't" You sighed, finally giving up after sitting there for what felt like forever.

The thing that stung the most was hearing the other witches chuckle at your failure, especially in front of Cordelia. It made you angry, it made you upset, it made you embarrassed. And the rest of the class you just spent sitting there watching the clock, waiting for Cordelia to finally dismiss you all.

But when she did, you wasted no time scurrying out. Not just out of the room but the academy. You just needed to get away before you exploded.

Luckily, the park you arrived at was empty, letting you relax in a peaceful environment. The place sure was beautiful, it had a big open field with flowers growing out of the radiant green grass. It had wooden benches along the side that you took a seat on with your legs criss cross with a book on your lap, hoping it would take you away from this reality for just a little while.