sarah paulson one shots

when the word caves in - shaudrey

prompt: if audrey had made it back before shelby had ended her suffering in the only way she thought was possible.

warning: suicide attempt.

word count: 1318

.   .   .

Everything suddenly felt overwhelming for Shelby, she felt trapped, she killed her husband on camera and her only other option was death or prison.

Shelby knew she couldn't handle prison, anybody who knew Shelby knew that she couldn't. She didn't belong there as terrible as killing her husband was, that wasn't Shelby and she didn't deserve what was to come. This house did awful things to you and adding on to her awful headspace, it just all got out of hand and her actions were going faster than her mind.

The space between the crowbar and her neck was minuscule, it wouldn't take a genius to guess what her next move was going to be and clearly Dominic wasn't too smart because Audrey was the one to run to Shelby, calling out to her even though the younger women was stuck in another dimension and couldn't hear anything coming out of the Audrey's mouth.

She was so tangled up in her thoughts and fear that she didn't realize that anyone was even beside her until she tried to lift the crowbar but couldn't from a strong force holding her hand down.

It almost shocked her when she looked to her side to see Audrey there. For a moment, she thought that she had actually went though with it and she was just in heaven being greeted by an angel. Luckily, Audrey was able to pull her back into reality with her British accent that Shelby secretly loved listening to.

"Shelby" she voiced "It's okay darling" although, it was clear that her words didn't do much impact by the way Shelby started at her with a cold look yet it held so much fear and sadness. "Hand it over love" Audrey said, trying to unravel the younger woman's fingers that were tightly wrapped around the crowbar. It was hard; Shelby had a strong grip and Audrey wasn't the strongest of the bunch. But of course she succeed, anything to get Shelby to safety.

"I- I killed him" tears danced down the younger women's porcelain face that was covered with blood, not her own blood, but her husbands. "I killed him" she repeated even louder, her voice stronger as if nobody had heard her the first time. "I know, I know, it's okay" Audrey cooed knowing damn well that it wasn't okay but needing to calm the women down before she had a panic attack.

"I'm gonna go to jail. He didn't try to hurt me, i just killed him" she said between breaths and sobs although what Audrey was really worried about at the moment was Shelby's breathing; she didn't like how quickly her chest was rising and falling.

"Alright Shelby honey, take deep breaths for me love. In and out, in and out" Shelby tried to mimic the older woman's breathing while the other two that accompanied them in the room decided that Audrey could handle this so they left them alone, going into the bedroom.

By the time a little over a minute had passed, Shelby was no longer hyperventilating all thanks to Audrey.

"Don't leave me" Shelby breathed out, watching as Audrey stood up and walked towards the sink "i'm not leaving you honey, you have blood all over your face that i'm going to clean."

The older women kneeled back down to Shelby's level with a wet wash cloth in her hand, trying to wipe away the crimson that was on her face only to have her hand be pushed away and Shelby nuzzle her head into Audrey's chest. "Sweetheart, let me clean you up" she said, trying to sound the nicest possible without letting fear lace her voice. "No" Shelby cried out, her voice groggy from all the screaming and sobbing. She didn't want to be cleaned up or even try to get out to safety at this point, she just wanted to lay on Audrey, close her eyes, and pretend that everything was okay.

"I have to do it Audrey, there's no place for me. I have nothing to live for" the room fell silent for a moment, Audrey was debating her choice on what to do; show her what she really did have to live for and risk ruining everything or just continuing to calm her down.

Everything happened so fast and before she knew it, she had placed her lips on the younger women's. After a taking Shelby's lips in for a moment, Audrey quickly pulled away "you have me to live for" she said with her eyes closed, hoping she hadn't been reading her wrong this entire time.

The younger women just stared at Audrey like she had no thoughts whatsoever, like she didn't actually process what had happened and Audrey couldn't lie, she was terrified, maybe even more terrified at this situation than being in this evil house with people that held torches surrounding it.

Then tears began streaming down Shelby's face once again. Her chest heaved as sobs took ahold of her. Tear built up on her eyelashes and made a puddles in her eyes to the point where she couldn't even see Audrey's fearful face anymore. "God i love you Audrey" she said between short intakes of breaths.

She let her head fall back onto Audrey's chest only to hear her heart beating extremely fast, it sounded like there was a wild animal in there, trying to fight it's way out and if they weren't currently in the situation that they were in, she would laugh at Audrey for how nervous she was.

"I love you too honey" the older women said, almost forgetting where they were and the reason they were here in the first place. "I would love to sit here all day with you darling but we have to try and get out, let me clean your face hm?" the actress said with care "but" Shelby breathed out, too tired to even form a full sentence at this point "i promise you, when we get out here, we'll cuddle for hours but right now we need to focus on actually getting out" although at this point, Shelby have gave up, she knew there was no escaping so why not spend her last moments just relaxing with her lover.

"There's not way out Audrey. They're going to kill us" she said carelessly, almost like she was tired of saying it "you did it before and you're going to do it again Shelby, i know we can do it" Audrey herself didn't even know where all this confidence was coming from. A moment ago, she was screaming and crying in a barn with a bunch of cannibals, sure that she was going to die but now, now that she had Shelby, now that she had something to live for, she was going to fight and she was going to win.

"Just go without me, i'm useless" the younger women said.

"Just imagine our future together my love. I'm not leaving without you so either you come with me and we get out of here or i'll stay here with you." And that was what got Shelby up, she knew Audrey wasn't lying and that she would in fact stay here with her and she couldn't do that to her, they at least had to try.

"Okay" Shelby sniffled, slowly pulling herself off of her new lover and almost whimpering at the loss of contact. Once they both had stood up, Audrey tightly grabbed Shelby's hand, making sure to never let go of her. "We can do this love, i promise" Audrey said, leaving a lingering kiss on Shelby's forehead for that extra reassurance. And so on, Audrey kept her promise, they made it out, and they made it out together.