sarah paulson one shots

fragile - cordelia goode

requested by ihrtcordelia: i was wondering if you could do a oneshot where the reader has emetophobia and is sick and cordelia helps her through it?

warning: throwing up

word count: 1085

.   .   .

You tossed around in Cordelia's arms. Typically, you were the first to fall asleep. By your girlfriends caring nature, she always made sure that you were resting before her. But tonight, you simply could not fall asleep. You kept your eyes shut tightly in hopes that the pain in your stomach would just go away.

Cordelia was aware of your fear of throwing up. It caused you so much anxiety all of the time. Sometimes, you would have to completely end your day if you even felt slightly off. Cordelia was always gentle and reassuring to you. She would sit on the bathroom floor with you for hours until you were okay again.

But tonight, you figured that if you just ignored it then it would go away. You feared that you would manifest it into your life if you were to tell Cordelia that you feel ill.

It wasn't until the very early morning that your mouth went all watery. You sat straight up and tightly clutch your stomach. Cordelia was awoken by the sudden movement. She sat up with you and rubbed your back. "Baby, are you alright?"

Her brows furrowed together and her typical soft smile had a more concerned look than anything. You hastily shook your head and a whine escaped your lips. You didn't want to speak. You didn't want to move. You wanted to just breathe and feel better but you entirely forgot to.

Your face turned a burning red color and the moonlight peaking through the sheer curtains illuminated that for her to see. "Breathe, my love. What's wrong hm?" She spoke gently to you but her own worry cracked her voice.

"I think i'm gonna be sick, Delia." With this, tears freely fell down your face. Cordelia noticed your foot rapidly shaking back and forth and so she knew that you were working yourself up. It was only going to make you feel even more sick.

Cordelia didn't say another word. She, instead, picked you up bridal style and carried you to the bathroom. She knew you weren't going to walk. Everyone knows that standing up would only make someone more nauseous and you were terrified of that.

She grabbed a towel and sat on the cold tile floor with you. You always wondered if she was strong enough to carry you that easily before her supremacy. Either way, she would do anything to make you feel safe and comforted.

You sat atop of her lap in front of the toilet but with the fear still lingering, you could not relax against her. "Cordelia I don't want to be sick." You began to rock back and forth. "I'm scared, Delia. Please, can you do anything? A spell? Please."

You started to sob again and you knew that your words were hurting her more than anything. You knew there was nothing she could do and that it would just have to pass, but your head was running a mile a minute and things were flying out of your mouth.

It hurts Cordelia more than anything to see you upset and nervous. She is the main source of your happiness and when she can't provide you with that, it makes her feel completely helpless and heartbroken.

She wrapped her arms tightly around your body because she knew you needed that extra support. Cordelia kissed your temple, a soft, lingering kiss that made nearly everything feel okay. "I wish there was, sweetie. I wish I could make this all go away."

If you weren't so shaken up, you could've heard her voice cracking. You could feel the feeling of sickness building up in your throat, making you gag and cry and grip onto Cordelia's arm like you were hanging off a cliff. "I'm here. I'm right here with you, baby. You're okay. Just breathe."

She spoke so softly but you could not listen to the words coming out of her mouth. Your attention was entirely averted to your insides completely emptying.

Cordelia rubbed your back and left kisses on your hair after every sweet nothing that she would whisper in your ear. You tried to turn your head back to look at her but had to quickly avert back when you felt it come back up your throat again.

You heavily sobbed and once you were finished, your weak body completely fell limp onto Cordelia. She pushed away the strands of hair from your face and wiped your mouth with the towel she got you.

Your crying did not die down. You were glad that it was over but still so upset and shaken that it happened. She kissed your warm forehead and then your nose and offered off a gentle smile.

"You're alright, baby. It's all done. I'm so proud of you for getting through it, beautiful." You kept your head rested against her freckled chest. Your head pounded from all of the crying.

"I'm sorry," you finally said and sniffled. You felt terrible for waking her up and putting her through this.

"Don't apologize, my love. You did nothing wrong." She kissed the top of your head again and gently squeezed your body a little tighter. You didn't have the energy to debate her on that so you just let it be. "Let's brush your teeth and get you back into bed."

She helped you back up and you were still a little dizzy and unsteady on your feet. You wobbled a little bit but Cordelia held onto your waist so you wouldn't fall.

Your girlfriend helped you brush your teeth in your fragile state and then carried you back into bed. Despite the coolness in the room, your body temperature was still very heated. Cordelia could feel that just by touching you.

With your permission, she lifted your shirt up and over your head and then the same to herself so you wouldn't feel so alone.

You finally laid atop of Cordelia and she wrapped her arms around you. "You're so strong, my pretty love. I love you so much." She knew you needed extra reassurance and love after being sick. She would give you all of that anyways, sick or not.

"I love you too, Delia. So much." And with that, you both drifted off into a peaceful sleep, loved and protected by your girlfriend.