The Brightest Stars ✨

Chapter 34

Her eyes were open so wide, they had changed shape and the white was stark against her face. She was breathing increasingly laboured, until she was gasping for air.

Gabe was glad he had rushed her out of there but he hadn't been fast enough. In an ideal world, she wouldn't have seen or heard any of that.

He felt the rage soothe him into action as he swept Natalia into his arms, like she weighed nothing and carried her out of the house in long, quick strides to where their truck was parked.

He set her down on the passenger seat and cupped her face in her hands. She felt clammy and cool all at once and there was clear panic in her eyes.

"Nat, sweetheart, look at me." Her eyes went every which way but did not make contact with his. "Look at me, babe. You're having a panic attack. It's just a panic attack. You're going to be fine. Can you breathe in and out on my count?"

"1, 2, 3, 4 deep breath in," he directed, sweeping hair from her sticky forehead. "Hold it in, for 1, 2, 3, 4 and release." He rubbed her shoulders and then her thighs to encourage her muscles to unlock as he instructed her on how to regulate her breathing away from the painful gasps of air for a couple of more cycles.

He had done this same process countless times before. Being a Captain in the Marines, had come with many responsibilities. Cajoling the fear out of boy soldiers that should have been at home with their mommies had been one of them.

"Okay, one more time."

"I'm fine," she said, her voice hoarse. She looked fatigued. She pushed his hands away from her face, but there wasn't much power behind the motion. "Can you stop hovering?"

"No." Gabe told her blankly. "I know some part of you is embarrassed — "

"Try mortified. Did you have to carry me out of there?"

"I won't apologise for it," he said and set his jaw so hard his back teeth hurt.

"Can you just take me home please?"

He gave her furtive, worried glances all the way home. He'd felt something had been off even before they had arrived. He had been wrong not to trust his instincts, a resource that had never failed him before and now Natalia was suffering for it.

"Can I get you anything?" He was hovering, just like she had accused him of doing.

"No." She was lying in bed with her body turned away from the door, her knees were drawn up as much as her belly would let her. She had slipped upstairs as soon as they had gotten home. He had hung back, unsure of what to say to her but knowing that she wanted to be left alone. He didn't need to see her face to know that she had been crying.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He tried again.

"No."

"Can I hold you?"

"I just want to be alone," she said, sounding so despondent that Gabe couldn't find it in himself to argue or get in her face. He went downstairs, he needed a distraction.

Gabe let out a series of violent curses he'd never before uttered in his civilian life before and kicked a cabinet that was in the hallway leading from the front door so hard it splintered into hundreds of pieces beneath his feet.

It was new. He hoped that Natalia wouldn't miss it as he felt the red haze of anger dissipate, and turn into a low hum of hurt. He was hurting for her. He didn't have the monopoly on healthy family relations but he'd never experienced betrayal like that before. He couldn't imagine it and he hated that he wasn't able to protect her from it.