i dont know what im doing anymore

Chapter Fifteen

Be Karkat
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I didn't notice until the movie started that Dave was asleep. I went to go shake him awake but I was just staring at him. His blonde hair fell on his face messily, his skin looked soft and glimmered in the low light of the room, his chest slowly rose up and down with his breathing. He was perfect.

Wait, what?

What the fuck was wrong with me? Anyway he had to wake up. The movie already started.

"Dave... Dave wake up..." I said shaking him a little too violently. "The movie is about to start." I said with my eyes fixated on the screen.

"Yea cool. Hey KitKat you need some more popcorn? I'll go get us some." He said grabbing the popcorn out of my hands and dashing out of the theater.

What the fuck is his deal he'll miss the beginning of the movie. Oh well I did want some more popcorn anyway.

Dave returned shortly after with more popcorn. "Hey I got that popco-" He said while I was shoving him in his seat. Gog doesn't he know he's missing the movie.

"Yea yea, shut up and watch the movie."

The scene was Hazel and Augustus climbing up stairs in the Anne Frank house. Then they kissed. I loved this scene. I loved it for three reasons: A. Its where their first kiss was. B. It proves how strong Hazel is emotionally and physically. C. I had always wished someone would kiss me lik--

My thoughts were cut off. My head was turned to the side. My lips... Tasted .... Different.... And soft. A new sensation running through me. It was warm and comforting.... Just like Dave's hug. There was a force pushing me at the back of my head. I opened my eyes. I couldn't believe what I saw. My eyes went wide. HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!! DAVE-FUCKING-STRIDER WAS KISSING ME!!!!

I pulled back almost instantaneously when I realized what he was doing.

"JEGUS CHRIST DAVE!! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!!! WHY THE FUCK WERE YOU KISSING ME!?!?!?! FUCK OFF!!!" I screamed standing up and walking out of the theater. What the fuck happened to "Just two bros hanging out." I'm done. Done. That's the last fucking time I let someone get close to me. I'm gonna fucking lock myself in my room and never come out. I didn't even know Dave was gay or a homosexual or whatever the fuck its called. I'm sure as hell not. And holy shit that was my first kiss!! Why... Why of all people on this earth did my first kiss have to be with the biggest douche bag to ever walk the surface of the earth?? My eternal rant was cut off when I realized I was walking on the highway now a good distance away from the theater too. Good I wanted to be as far away as that place as possible especially farther away from Dave. Oh great just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse pulled up in his Lamborghini right next to me. I walked faster almost immediately.

"Karkat get in the car." He said driving steadily next to me.

"FUCK OFF STRIDER!!!" I yelled back not looking at him.

"Karkat you'll freeze to death before you even make it half way home."

I suddenly realized how cold it actually was. I must not have noticed from the heat radiating off of me from anger. "I SAID FUCK OFF!!"

"Karkat, don't make me do this."

I ignored him and started walking faster. He stopped the car hopped out and was walking up to catch me. Oh fuck no. I am not getting in his stupid ass car. I started running away from him but my actions were useless. He's surprisingly really fast. He picked me up bridal style and threw me in his car. Then we started driving away.

I didn't care how I got home, I just wanted to get there. Dave drove silently and faster than normal. I watched out the window as the houses raced by. Then... Then.. WAIT A MINUTE!!

"DAVE YOU JUST FUCKING PASSED MY HOUSE!!" I yelled now more furious than before. "WHERE THE FUCK ARE WE GOING?!?!" No response. He drove faster and faster each second. We were gunna wreck if he didn't slow down soon or something.

"DAVE SLOW DO--" I was cut off when he slammed the breaks on and we were in front of his apartment building.

I didn't even realize that he had gotten out of the car when I was in his arms again racing into his house.

I didn't even have time to protest when I was thrown on his couch.

He was on top of me, his hands on my wrists, and my reflection staring back at me. I was scared. I didn't know what he wanted. My reflection wore big searching eyes, sweats on the top of my forehead, and blush. He smirked and kissed me. This time more deeply. My lips moved with his. His tongue was searching for every little crevice of my mouth and pushing down on mine. He held both of my wrists on top of my head and slid his other hand up my shirt. His touches on my skin felt warm and wrong.. Very very wrong. He pulled my shirt off of me and started to move his hand to my chest. He slowly circled his fingers around my nipples. Oh shit ... I don't know if this made me feel good or worse. He then left my mouth agape when he stopped kissed me and mimicked the movements of his fingers with his tongue.

"D-dave...s-stop....nngh... Pl-please." I couldn't stop the slight moans coming out of my mouth. My pleading to make him stop only seemed to make him do it more. His hand moved down my body under my pants and he was pulsing his hand around my shaft. Then he went lump.

"Hey, little bro you okay??" A new voice questioned. I couldn't tell who it was through the tears. Dave's body got pushed off of me and my shirt handed to me. I wiped the tears away from my eyes and the person staring at me with a confused worried look on his face looked almost exactly like Dave but with different glasses.

"You ok??" He asked again. I couldn't say anything but tears began to fill my eyes again.

"The names Dirk. I'm sorry about Dave he's never like this. Put on your clothes and I'll take you home." He said as he got up and dragged Dave to his room. After about a few minutes Dirk came back and I was waiting for him at the door. I wanted to get out of that place as soon as possible. I wanted to get out of this world more.

We drove to my house in silence besides me giving directions. Once we got home I ran straight for my room, ignoring Kankri's rants, and locked the door. I'm never coming out. I sat next in the corner farthest from the door and cried. I cried until I couldn't anymore and cried some more.