i dont know what im doing anymore

Chapter Eleven

Be Karkat
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Dave drove me home after Kankri called me to go home. It was 39° outside and I was freezing. Before he pulled out of the driveway he wrapped a blanket around me, and it smelled like him. I didn't know why but every time he would do something like that I could help but blush. I fucking hated myself for it too. I put my headphones on and was listening to music and staring out the window up at the clear night sky. After about a song or two, my favorite song came on. Echo, by Jason Walker. I set it to repeat and was lip syncing the words. I let my eyes close and I drifted off into slumber.

Worthless.
Puny.
Freak.
Disgusting.
Heartless.
Repulsive.

Those words echo around the darkness as I run. I don't know where I'm going. I don't know where I am. I run in the empty darkness looking for a way to escape.

I see something... Maybe a light.... I run as fast as I can towards it. Its a meadow, and Dave is there. I keep running... Almost there... He's waiting for me....

Then I fell.... Screaming for him... Anybody.....

I stop falling and look up. He grabbed me... He saved me... Dave brought me back up into the meadow and I was happy.

I woke up smiling the next morning. I didn't know how I got in my room. I set my phone and my headphones on the bedside table and sat at my desk and turned on my computer. I had gotten multiple messages from someone I didn't know.

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering carcinoGenesict [CG]

TG: sup bro

TG: oh yeah youre asleep right now

TG: well text me when you wake up

TG: later

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering carcinoGenesict [CG]

Who the hell was this and how'd they get my Pesterchum? Only like two people have it, and Sollux nor Gamzee would give it out.

carcinoGenesict [CG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

CG: WHO THE FUCK IS THIS???

TG: oh cool youre awake now.

CG: AGAIN WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!!

TG: chill kar its Dave

CG: HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU GET MY CHUMHANDLE

TG: stole it off your computer when I put you to bed last night. I didn't think you would mind.

CG: I SURE AS HELL MIND. YOU SHOULDNT HAVE BEEN ON MY COMPUTER THATS AN INVASION OF PERSONAL PRIVACY YOU DICKSACK!!

TG: ok well are you gonna call the cops on me or what.

CG: NO JUST DONT EVER FUCKING DO IT AGAIN!

TG: aight

TG: so I'm going to the mall today and I might want to watch a movie too

CG: OK WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS

TG: well I was wondering if you'd like to come hang out with me if you think that might be cool

TG: I'll even let u pick the movie

CG: WHAT LIKE A FUCKING DATE..

TG: nah just two bros hanging out.

CG: SURE WHATEVER. COME PICK ME UP.

TG: cool I'll be there before you can say hippopotomonstrosisquipodeliophobia

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering carcinoGenesict [CG]

I closed my computer and went to my closet to look for clothes. I got a pair of black skinny jeans, a black short sleeved shirt with a picture of the band members of Falling in Reverse, a zip up hoodie with the cancer symbol on the back, a pair of black converse, and my backpack. I started to take my shirt off and my pant already on the ground changing into my other clothes when Dave walked in.

"Hey I let myself in the door was un....."