Taint Me More ☑️

Chapter Sixteen

My father had been living somewhere around Greenwich village which was a few minutes drive to my place. I invited him out for lunch on Friday of the same week we patched things up. My schedule was getting busier and busier by the day but I had some time to squeeze in outings with my father. We had a lot of catching up to do and I needed to get in as much time with him as I could before he was taken away from me again by the big C.

"Ciao Papa (Hi Dad)" I said, hugging him as he walked into the cafe.

"Come stai? (How are you?)" he asked, taking a seat.

"Great papa but...how are you?" I asked and eyed him carefully.

He chuckled and took a drink of water. "I'm splendid, Ila. I don't want you to worry about me, I don't want you to worry about...that" he trailed off and I stared down at my fingers.

He was just being modest with the whole situation and I understood him.

"I didn't come to New York to have my daughter brood over my health, instead, I came to patch things up and reconnect with her" he said and waved a waiter over, "yeah, we'll have the medium biscotti with a slice of tiramisu and two large vanilla shakes, extra caramel" he told the waiter, his thick Italian accent couldn't go unnoticed, even to me.

I'd been surrounded by Americans well enough to get used to their accent, so having someone with the same accent as me made it stand out more. Another thing that made me feel warm and relaxed was the fact that he ordered my favourite treat. Biscottis were a classic while growing up in Europe. They were my sister's favourite. I wasn't really fond of the treat as a kid but Oriana made me love them. She had a very persuasive nature.

I smiled at the memory and my dad could tell what I was thinking because he chuckled too. "She would have loved it here in this city."

He wasn't wrong. My sister loved the big city life, although she was a tough nut to crack sometimes, but she had her mind set on huge visions. I wished things went differently.

I talked to my father about my life before New York, omitting the parts that hurt to talk about and he didn't probe, I talked about my life ever since I moved to the city and it was just nice to talk to him. He also talked about his trips and his life after retirement as we munched on our Italian desserts. I discovered I was no longer mad at him for leaving. I understood that marriages were tough and sometimes, love wasn't enough a pillar to hold a marriage up, especially when infidelity stepped in. My sister probably wouldn't have existed if things had happened differently, hell, I wouldn't have existed if my mom and dad never met. So life was one big game of dice and I tried to not except so much out of it but to cherish each moment as it came.

I didn't really know why I met Aaron and Brian at exactly the same time in my life, I didn't even know if this was the smoothness and normalcy I'd always hoped for because things didn't exactly seem normal. I was still the girl who was sleeping with her boss's fiancé, I knew it was wrong and I knew he was trouble right from the first day I met him but I still got a pull every moment with him. I honestly wished I'd met him sooner than I did, maybe our relationship wouldn't have been the forbidden kind, maybe there wouldn't have been an Andrea in the picture. And with the case of Brian, I didn't know what I was doing, which was why I sent a text to him, telling him I needed to talk to him.

I had in mind that I was going to finally tell him that I wasn't the right girl for him and that I'd tried to feel something, anything for him but it wasn't just working. And then after that, I would confront Aaron and tell him whatever was going on between us, couldn't happen anymore. I was done being selfish. I didn't care that my decision was probably a shitty one but it was what I needed.