Taint Me More ☑️

Chapter Twenty Three

It wasn't long after, I was stepping down from the taxi and making my way up to Brian's apartment building.

I greeted the familiar doorman and he nodded his acknowledgment. I didn't waste anymore time as I made my way to the elevator and up to his apartment, hoping he wouldn't turn me away.

I knew it was bold of me to come after him, when he clearly wanted to get far away from me after the event that took place earlier.

I was surprised to see him open the door after I made my presence known. He didn't say a word to me, he just let me in and walked to his kitchen counter that had a first aid kit on it.

We didn't speak at all, I just watched him as he struggled to tend to his injuries.

"Let me." I walked up to him and grabbed the kit, I took the antiseptic wipes from him and dabbed at the cuts on his face. And he let me.
I tried to avoid the look he had on his face, he didn't look angry—which was the supposed look any person who was just beat up would have— no, he looked sad, and broken and betrayed.

He stayed quiet for a few minutes more, not breaking it until I tried to speak.

"Don't Aria. Except what you have to say is anything that isn't related to the mess you made." He croaked and lightly brushed my hand away from his face as he moved away from me, he then pinched his nose and a single drop of blood rolled down, making him sniffle.

"No Brian, I came to make this right." I responded with a sigh.

I hated how bad he looked, and I hated more that I put him in such a situation.

"It's a little too late for that now, don't you think?" He cocked his head to the side, bringing his fingers away from his bloodied nose as he took a step closer to me. "I feel torn, Aria." He placed his hand on his chest and rubbed his center.

I shook my head and searched my brain for something to say other than "I'm sorry."

"I feel torn and lost, because you won't give me a damn chance to love you." He said this and came up to me, leaving just a few inches between us.

"No Brian, it's not like that." I said in a low voice, turning my head to the side, trying to avoid his eyes. And also trying to ignore his use of the 'L' word. I threw the wipes I had in my hand on the counter and shifted on my feet.

"That's what it is, Aria. Look at me." He grabbed my chin and turned my head back to him. "I think I've loved you for a while now and I can't fucking deal with myself, knowing that you can't reciprocate that love."

I gasped the inhalation of my next breath as I listened to his confession. It was the second man confessing love to me in one night and I felt like I was going to fucking scream.

"Oh dio mio, che diamine? (Oh my God, what the heck?)." I bit out the cuss as I tried again to turn away from his battered face.

I shook my head again and searched my brain for the right words that would explain that I didn't feel the same way. No lies, I did feel something for Brian but it was the feeling I would have for a boon companion or a best friend and nothing more or less than that. Which was why my eyes widened the moment he closed the gap between us, and in no time, he was on me. He planted his lips on mine as quickly as he came and grabbed the back of my neck to deepen the kiss.

My brain went on full awareness mode, and if my subconscious had in some way forewarned me of the possible outcomes of this night, I'd have turned down Andrea's invite and stayed home watching romcoms and cartoons, eating doritos and alcohol with my roommates back at home.

I forced my head away from his and shoved him away, he released me immediately with a smacking sound of our lips separating. "Brian, no!" I snapped, shutting my eyes and took a step back from him.

When I came in earlier, the look he gave me was that of a broken hearted person, a rejected man. Now, he looked like he was consumed with rage and resentment like he'd just been slapped in the face by me and not punched black and blue by some guy an hour ago. I might have as well lifted my hand to slap him across the face—not physically, but it felt like I did with the look he gave me in that moment.

Like he was just now realizing the gravity of the situation, he drilled me with a look. "You're in love with him." He deduced.

I wasn't sure of anything at that moment. The word scared me and I wanted nothing more than to get away from the two men that had caused me my sanity for the night. Brian wasn't having it, though.

He sucked in a sharp breath, probably taking my silence as an answer. "Damn it Aria!" He groaned, turned around and grabbed a small flower pot from the island, hurling it across the room.

His outburst made me jump. I followed his movement, watching him as he forcibly grabbed a handful of his hair and turned back to face me. I'd never seen him like this, and I didn't know if it scared me or made me pity him. I hated myself for everything that had happened, and yes, I did blame myself.

"He's engaged to be married." He pointed, "that selfish fucker" he hissed to himself. "Y'all wait till the poor lady finds out about such a huge betrayal." He chuckled humorlessly and I gasped.

Awareness washed over me as I thought about Andrea finding out. So I shook my head. "She's not gonna find out." I swallowed the heavy lump that sat in my throat, "because it's not gonna happen again."
I walked up to him and tried to reason with him.

"Yeah, right. Not gonna happen again," he snorted and massaged his jaw, which I suspected to be aching badly from the punches he received earlier. "Do you see how he looks at you?" He asked and I looked away. "Did you even see how he looked at you after he beat me up? Like you were the only thing that existed to him. Thinking about it now, you gave him the same look too and I've ignored it before, but I now know what it is, so no Aria, I do not believe it won't happen again."

I turned my back at him, trying to calm my breathing as my stomach vibrated from the thumping of my heart.

"Maybe I should spare her the trouble of catching you two red handed and just tell her what y'all have been doing behind her back, I can imagine how she'll feel" he said in a deadpan tone.

I turned quickly to stare at him and he walked away from me.

"Brian no." I pleaded, "please, don't do that," I felt myself breaking further. "You can't do that, I beg you."

"And why the hell not, huh?" He asked, pouring a drink for himself and taking a chug. "Tell me why I shouldn't tell her that her fiancé and her employee are shacking up behind her back."

"Brian, you just can't. It'll ruin her."

"Oh? Me telling her will ruin her?" He asked, "didn't you know it'll ruin her when you started the affair with her fiancé? I fucking heard part of your conversation before you started groping each other against the wall, and by my judgment, this has been going on for quite sometime."

"I'll lose my job, I'll lose everything." I whispered to myself, shaking my head. I almost lost my balance, so I gripped the back of the couch to steady myself.

"You have nothing to justify yourself." He said and came up to me.

Truly, I didn't.

We both stayed quiet for a moment, and I could literally feel my thumping heart was loud enough to be heard across the room.

"That's right." He said and walked towards the door, "I think you should leave now. I need some time alone."

I looked at him, watching him as he opened the door.

I blinked away the tears and shame, swallowing ball after ball of saliva to wet my dry throat. I nodded my head and spared him a final look before walking out of his house and possibly his life.