Taint Me More ☑️

Chapter Thirty Five

I couldn't believe the look he had on his face. It was something between mortification and irresolution. It wasn't possible that he would mistrust me so quickly. He claimed to love me, and maybe I hadn't been completely open or bare -if I would say in his own words- to him as he had been to me.

Everything happened so quickly, it was too overwhelming. I knew I had promised myself that I would try not to keep my life away from him, no matter how tainted it seemed. But imagine the dirty truth about your past was revealed through newspapers that were published years earlier.

I wish I'd explained to him that I would never intentionally kill a person. What I did, I did for Oriana, and I did it to protect myself.

For five years, I had been unsure of myself. For five years, I had blamed myself for their deaths. And to think of it, it was all because of my selfish mother. I wished she had never reentered my life.

Back at the apartment, she spoke about wanting to try to be a mother to me again, but I could bet she never would've come back into our lives if things had turned out differently with my father. And now, she spoke of moving in? I started to feel the anger that I had compressed before the whole newspaper thing happened at home, I started to feel the anger break through me.

I wondered how the news of that dreadful night being dug up made her feel. Maybe she expected that it would stay hidden for the rest of our lives like I'd expected also. And maybe she thought it would never resurface to taint her "reputation"? She married a goddamned rapist, a sociopath, and left her daughters all day, everyday in the mercy of the man. She should be the one feeling miserable, not me.

I hoped she felt miserable.

As far as I knew, Oriana's death was on her.

What was I thinking?

What had I been thinking for five years?

I wanted to go back to confront her. And to clear things out with Aaron. I still couldn't get his expression out of my mind. He obviously thought of me as a murderer.

I looked down at Bambi, the dog had run out the door with me, too fast I couldn't stop him, so I just let him come with me, not like I was going to leave the vicinity. He had grown fond of me and I him. He was all that I had left of my father.

"What do you think, huh little one?" I asked the dog and he cocked his head to the side like he could understand me. "Maybe I shouldn't have stormed out the way that I did, right?"

Bambi whimpered and I scratched his ear.
"Well, I panicked. I couldn't bear the judgmental looks I was getting, so I did the first thing that came to my mind. I ran."

I stared back at the direction of the apartment and contemplated going back. It was meant to be chilly outside, but I didn't feel the chills, instead, I felt droplets of sweat trickling down my back, and all I had on was a little lacy black dress.

A black mini van pulled up by the side of the road. A man in a black suit and dark shades stepped down from the van.

I ignored him and started to walk back home. I knew I couldn't go far with a stalker on the loose and right now, I didn't trust anyone to not be a psychotic stalker that was capable of digging up my past. Someone obviously had access to my house and that needed to be rectified. Plus I didn't bring my phone with me.

Suddenly, the man started to move towards me. Bambi started to bark at the stranger.

I eyed him as he just kept coming at me. The strangeness of the situation made me start walking fast.