Life at College

The mess

«Get up! » A bright light hit my face. I barely opened my eyes and saw Matt standing over me. I sighed and pulled my covers over my head, ignoring him. «Jo! » I could hear Matt sat down on my chair next to me.

«Leave me alone» I said from under the covers.

«No. I'm not going away until you talk to me. » I didn't answer, and just laid still. Hoping he would give up. «Come on Jo»

«I don't feel like talking. » It was hard enough to get out of bed on weekdays to get to class. On the last few weekends, I have just stayed in my dorm in bed watching movies. I really didn't have anything special to do, and neither did I feel like being around people. I had made it to most of my classes, but other than that I had been here. And when I was out, I felt like a tired zombie, doing what I could to avoid people. Ella was the only interaction I had managed to keep up. Probably mostly for the main reason that we share a room.

«Well, you can talk to me, or I can call mom»

«You wouldn't» I pulled the covers just below my eyes so that I could see him.

«Try me» Matt said in a strict voice, looking me in the eyes with a raised eyebrow. Arms crossed. It was clear to me that he wasn't playing around. I wouldn't put it past him to call mom, and in worst case she would come here to check up on me.

«Fine! » I sat up in my bed. «What do you want to talk about? »

«How about Liam? » Matt asked and sat down on the chair beside of me.

«No thank you»

«Jacob then? »

«Preferably not» Matt sighed.

«Well, then you need to get out of this room. Let's go get some pancakes»

«I really wasn't planning on leaving this room before class tomorrow. » I looked at him.

«That's too bad. Plans change. Roll with the punches. » He had no idea of how accurate his word choice was. It felt exactly like someone had punched me in the gut. Sending all the air out of my lungs. The energy out of my body. Matt took my hand and pulled me out of bed. «Now get up and take a shower. » I didn't answer him, just grunted, and unwillingly did as he told me.

Sitting at the pancake house, I just stared at the coffee in my cup. I hadn't said a word to Matt since we left my dorm. That was mainly because I really didn't know what to say. I had never felt like this before. The emptiness was all consuming. Before I started college, I was content with being by myself. But after Jacob and Liam, being alone made me feel sad and empty. I didn't have anyone to share my day with. Someone to watch movies with, text or just be with.

The pancakes came and we started to eat.

«Let's start with Liam. What happened? » Matt put down his fork.

«He didn't tell you? » I asked mumbling.

«No, he wouldn't. Just that it didn't work out. »

«We just realized that after the attraction we didn't really fit together personally. It's okey. » I raised my shoulder to show I didn't care. The truth was I didn't care as much as I should have done. Or at least as much as I thought I should.

«But if this is okey, then why are you so sad? » Only the thought of Jacob filled my eyes with water. I took a deep breath to collect myself.